Kin,
Woke to the sound of the irritating alarm clock this morning. Sometimes I fail to hear this noise, while mornings like this one the alarm was so very abrasive to my ear. I remember few things of life over the past four days and have slept too many hours since. Am feeling that I have awoken a different fellow than who I was when I went to sleep on the night of 23 July.
I do remember seeing She-Who-Knows-My-Innards, on Tuesday the 24th. As we had our face to face, it was my duty to self that I report to her my failure on the War against the sugar. Something snapped in my health back starting in April of this year. My sugar began to to increase over the course of weeks that turned into months...
...and I found myself there in the doctors clinic feeling a failure. On the verge of tears even. I insisted on a Patient and Doctor Health Plan and Agreement about this process. She prescribed a pill as I am in the range that a good approach would be a pill that is just a wee bit smaller than a horse pill. My God.
But yes, She-Who-Walks-With-The-Cherokee, you had hit the nail square on the head a couple of months ago. I was too proud to admit that I was failing in my fight against sugar diabetes. I am ashamed now, but part of the Health Plan is that as soon as my sugar is under control I would be weened from it. I am confidant that this approach will be a right good successful one. I am confidant I know why I was failing. My food in-take was very good and the control of sugar grams and calorie count is a strong point for me. I have admitted that I may tend towards the control piece from time to time. The controls of my food in-take will increase. Substantially. My simple exercises will continue and I am planning on increasing the work outs I do in the cement pond. The experiment has already begun. I am wondering and do highly suspect all of those Diet and Energy Drinks have something to do with this? For now, I'm licking my wounds about this health thing.
She-Who-Knows-My-Innards, has recommended a visit with the Endocrinologist. I will oblige.
She-Who-Knows-My-Innards, has ordered laboratory work be done and testing to be done on my heart. Something, "looked odd" on the EKG. Has also ordered I should see He-Who-Knows-My-Heart. Hmmmmm?
She-Who-Knows-My-Innards, observed that my blood pressure has increased and was consistent with repeated tries at the BP Cuff. She would not listen to the "I am nervous" line neither. So, the BP medication I was already on has been increased.
The staff were all cheerful and very happy to see the amount of weight I have lost. This was a much needed uplifting experience for my Spirit's. I mean, shit.
On the night of 24 July, I am sure that the Meniere's Family visited me. This preceded the sleep, which has me twisted in my head. The sounds in my ears. The dizziness is active and like an old fashioned sweat band about my skull, as I tip-tap this communique. The nausea has been up and down today and has been productive over the past two days. I sit here perspiring in a cool place in our lodge. The Worms and Spiders are alive and living well. Yesterday, I slept twenty hours - sleeping through an important gathering with my Sir Dude. I have lost count of the sleep between the 24th and now - as I find anything and everything to do to keep myself awake. I wish that had been the case on the yesterday...
...I have been rather blue and slightly depressed for quite sometime. First off is the whole Health Care Plan change and stuff. I am and have been so hyper-focused on the Meniere's Disease and operations since the new year, that I permitted my own body to go unhealthy on me. All while I have been attempting in so many other aspects to make myself a healthier person. It puzzles me why I didn't listen. Actually, I am angry with self.
One near me has betrayed me yet again and I can't shake it off. I have not been able to come to terms with what happened in Colorado or what the hell is going on in Syria. No. Not yet.
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