Tonight, my mind, body and spirit's remind me of why it is I go see my therapist, Sir Dude, every week...
...today has not been the same because of todays absence. I have cried a percentage of it away and at about five o-clock this afternoon, I had no choice but to lay down. I suspect, I may have pushed the envelope a bit with the task of touching and cleaning each compact disc in the house. I have had enjoyable times thus far and am truly enjoying the mini memory trips, but is necessary to take several/too many time out's, as I become sweaty, dizzy and nauseated with-in minutes of tasking. Even so, I began work on this task on Monday, have put a tiny dent into what just not long ago, would have taken me an afternoon to complete. It was as if I was overwhelmed with a sudden exhaustion...so I closed my eye orb's a spell.
Making/attending these appointments are important to me, and for me. I take pride in not being late and I do my damnedest to make sure I make every damned appointment on the calender...excuses are difficult for me to speak aloud, so, I put myself in the position to not have to make them. I usually have back up's for the back up's...I struck out.
Not being able to jump in the car to conduct my personal business sucks! I mean, this hurts the ego and is down right embarrassing! I don't give a cat's piss what anybody might say, it SUCKS to beg. I am not eligible for transportation aid yet. So I listen to all the preachers, them-with-two-faces, and I love the "just call" line to deaf.
This has nothing to do with He-Who-Takes-Me, or my In-Law's, or my Little Sister's, She-Who-Is-Married-To-Him and Her-Heart-Is-In-The-Mountains, who have provided me with some splendid tuck-n-rolls, some wonderful coffee stops and excellent converstion...
...this pertains to others who have offered to assist with transport. I won't say I am not angry. It would be such a lie. Hell, I'm angry foremost with my self. I do reckon though, I am more disappointed ,and feel obligated to listen and to see the perpituation of "That's What Friends Are For". Child please, leave it be that one of them should call me in the morrow with fake ass inspirational messages.
On another medical note, my right-good-bad-ear has had moments of total silence today. The sounds are alive with-in the skull tonight though. The dizziness seems to be getting worse, so I'll say good night.
Pushing the envelope...walking my path
Mario, do you think my post was a fake ass inspiration message? I am so sorry if I offended you in any way. I can't imagine what you are going through, no I can't.
ReplyDeleteJody, no dear and I have responed to you via e-mail. This has nothing to do with too many folks really and I'll say again, it seems as if the lesson would have been learned so long ago about speaking in general terms and ways. This is directed to them who offer assistance "in general", then once I find the energy to call to oblige their offer...my energy was for naught. I owe you the apology, dear Jody.
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