Had made contact with my Miss. P.T. She forgot to call me about changes. Today we had P.T., even though symptoms were running a bit on the high side. She came to my house to assist me with getting some damn good therapy on and we did. Bygones.
Today has been a difficult day with the sweating as-if-I've-tasked-in-the-yard bad, extreme nausea and the freaken dizziness. Non-productive nausea, there have been times when I was certain, but none, thankfully...
...today the sounds in my skull have been obnoxious...I have The Cure on the stereo with hopes of distracting the sounds from within..not working as well as I had hoped. Crickets the size of sparrows in my right-good-bad-ear and beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps in my left Deaf ear. No Morris Code today, just really long beeeeeeeeeeeps. What am I to do? I don't know. Today, there have been tears...there were tears last night and I am certain to shed some later on. It's as if crying has become a part of my daily life style. As a daily shower is daily.
Yes, today, I have taken all medications as directed. To include ibuprofin to assist with the neurontin, for my nerve pain. Well, hell, isn't this a crock of dung, something has just come to my reasoning and that is, nerves from all over my body & mind are off balance, en'it? Lord.
There is something I need to get out off my chest real quick like...on this Tuesday past, I had prepared myself for punishment. It has been such a long time coming! No, I did not go through with my punishment. I wanted to.
I can tell you all now, I do my best to always do my best! With everything that life offers me, I have always given my 100%! For my bride, my daughters, siblings, neighbors...My Coffee House Company.
I feel as if somewhere, somehow I have failed. This failure dwells deep within my center and it has been with me most of my damned life. From the abused child and adolsecent, the damaged, anorexic and confused young man and now, this maddening meniere's in my mid-life.
Today, the gloom surrounds my neck like a cold silk scarf...
Today, even though, I will fight on...
...to Walk my Path.
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