...grace...

The Pony I ride today is brown with patches of white, one patch that looks like a thunder bolt on his left haunch/rear end, up high near his tail...he is strong and is holding me well. I want to take him on a run and go fast.

The rains and cool weather are approaching us from up North of here. Not so cool at this moment, but there is plenty wet from the rains - sometimes torrential down pours. I am thankful and Mother Earth here on the preserve is pleased, as the grass and pine tree...all of our plant life have suffered from a rather long dry spell. I am so very thankful. Yes, I am a tree hugger. Am a member of PETA maybe twelve or so years too.

The noises in my head are very loud tonight...Vietnam War era helecopters circle about within my right-good-bad-ear...the steady whooomp-whooomp-whooomp-whooomp. Yes, I know there's a third "o". I added it because this is what I am hearing - "right" now at 1148 pm Thursday evening. I am dizzy +7 and nausea +5. Earlier today, I heard a voice from behind me. Please, I am home alone. I had to brush it off, let me brush it off.

I had to take a mid-day nap earlier this afternoon. I had cried myself into an exhausted state of being. Slept for close to four hours...a sleep so deep, I had to fight to awake. I wonder if this was remnets of last week's attack. I don't know. Have cried off and on this afternoon and tonight while Brenda has been home. Some of these tears were shed out of fear and saddness as I had been informed someone of Relation had a stroke and it was required he go to hospital. Prayer requests were sent out. He is someone my family and I have just been reunited with along with my dear Aunt and cousins back in July. Honestly, I was so afraid for Uncle and all of his family. We just reunited back in July! My Mom's Clan. I love them so very dearly...and by the way, Uncle coming back strong!

Today was a grey and rainy day all day...a fitting day for a good cry or few, no matter what the issue. Grey days remind me of the coffee houses I worked with...cried about all those folks who crossed my path...it still hurts my spirit to know that my coffee company had to release me. Still have not been able to wrap this around my head. And to release me while out on a disabilty leave due to a disease I did not invite into my life cuts deeply...

...my apron and ball cap sit in the same spots I placed them the day I came home from work after I had a fall. They remind me of the joy I used to have in my center doing what I did. I have always enjoyed being a part of the energies and enviroment we would create at the stores. One thing I will say with open honest heart, I worked for this company for many a year. Had some terrific times and met so many wonderful people - doing what I do best - share my passion with so many like-minded and kindred.

I walk this Path, with passion for life and peace. I pray for world peace and pray for them hungry and without shelter. I pray for my own forgiveness. I pray and weep for what my eye orb's see and what I hear in my one ear hole. I walk this path in search of humble grace with every step I take...and then it is, I should share the gifts of visions and understandings.

The sights, thoughts, sounds and dreams are all different now. Oh God, Yes, I still have passion in my center...it's just that's not me in the mirror! Oh my Dear Great Spirit!!

Walking the Path, giving my pony a rest...

love, peace and grace,
Mario