Kindred,
In my widest dreams, I never thought that I would be wearing these shoes, these moccasins of mine walking this grand Path of mine. At the moment, I'm just trying to grab a few minutes of my day to day to reflect back on the things that have taken place. The week has been busy and even though we approach the weekend, I have one more doctor appointment come Saturday morning. Oh, no Sir., they're calling me in for an appointment. And, Honey Hush! I wasn't suppose to go to the clinic in town until June. Huh? Um, no, I don't know. I will soon.
These freaking sounds and noises are keeping me awake tonight, the time being 0114. Both ears are alive with loud and robust sounds of crickets and cicada's and the cicada's are like by the millions and these sons of bitch's are so loud that it occupies and preoccupies both faking ears. This includes an ear that is iced cold stone Deaf. I mean, like totally out of sound, but not really because I am listening to both ears at this instant. Earlier today I was listening to what sounded like a hoovering craft over the North East corner of the lodge. That's the way it sounded too. Kind of like, hooooooove and hoooovvvvvvvvvvvvve and like that. I figured as long as I'm inside my home, I am safe from these little lavender people from another planet. Out there in the North-40. Um, no, wait a second please, really, all jokes aside, this sound and noise thingy shit gets old very quick like. And Folks, please don't preach to me or any of my alters. We just don't have time for that. Few in my Circle have researched Meniere's. One can't see this disease because it is invisible. No one can see that I am Deaf . And Folk's forget. Doctor's forget. Sometimes Folks forget.
The bone exposed nakedness of what happens when one loses the ability to hear or listen, and listen like I used to. Folks, don't want to talk of the PTSD, or the MPD, the anorexia or the bulimia. Oh No Honey, folks don't even want to talk about the shit that's really happening now and today. Ma'am, some Folk's forget that life happens. Every-single-day of life, Life Happens.
The sweats have been absolutely disgusting and I perspire as I sit here, tip-tapping. I've averaged 2.33 t-shirts per day for the past three days. Including today. whoa, wait a second, this reminds me to report that my right ear has been passing fluid, is "popping", and aches constantly. Sometimes enough that I must massage my ear hole approaching my ear from the rear.
Had a visit with Dr. Wilson, on the sixteenth. I was the recipient of a huge and another round of injections. Not the Botox, but forms of nerve blocks. Dammit, these smart! There has been issue with my insurance company and the pharmacy and doctor getting this done right. I reckon. Today will be day three and my team can't get my meds authorized. Please, that's what insurance is for, enit?
Prayer's, please?
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