Kind One's,
I begin this communique with the news of a continued battle with deep and long sleeps that really have seemingly taken over and control of my mind and body since the Meniere's Disease, Vertigo Attack on the night of 23 March and which lasted well into the morning of Sunday 24 March 2013. Today is 02 April 2013. This morning when I woke from slumber I felt as if I had no sleep at all. It is now that after having slept over one hundred forty hours since and still averaging twenty hours per day of deep dream inducing sleep, that I must wage a fight against this and with this said, I am compelled to assist with the breaking up of this very long curse of sleep. My Kindred One, I am ashamed to admit that I have slept so much of my life away. These are days of hours that I will never retrieve. Poof, they're gone. Just like that.
Sunday, Easter Day, was the one day that I was able to stay awake longer than six hours. I was able to spend fantastic, loving time with family. My two brilliant nephews! Oh, how I love them so very much. My Lil' Dude's, for sure. It truly makes me sick in my heart and mind to think of life that has dashed right on by.
I make mention of an ill stomach and say this because I have had nausea over the past two hours. Have had disgusting gag attacks that have made my lower jaw and chest ache. So very disgusting and this accompanied by a constant taste of stomach acids - which seems to have clung to my tongue and teeth. I think rich blue berries would be nice to help with this disgusting taste in my mouth and I will remember to pick some up the next time in the market where shopping is a pleasure. For now, strawberries will have to do. It is too bad these are not the wild berry, the wild berry is a better bitter berry for these types of stomach, nausea and vomit-in-my-mouth occurrence's. These are not so much to eat, but more to suck on for the juices that chase away the tastes of productive nausea.
I am sweating. Bad, and I feel cold and clammy to the touch. My forehead and the top of my skull is wet from this and my t-shirt clings to my neck. I feel the wetness on my chest and back. I am dizzy and this dizziness is intoxicating this morning. My steps are guarded as I seem to stumble about my safe place. And I feel weak and subdued.
The spiders have returned and the worms have never gone anywhere anyway from the left side of my upper left scalp. Look, these bleeding bastards were so difficult this morning about three, that I considered sticking my scalp with an ice pick. I wanted to see if I might control this ridiculous shit going on between my scalp and skull on my own means. Yeah, it sounds ridiculous, but my dear Kin, if you only knew...
I have an appointment with He-Who-Touched-My-Brains at 1200 noon, today. I am eager to see my Dear Good Right Doctor. The wound has sealed, so for the first time since last year there isn't drainage from there and I know Doc. will be appreciative of that, but I don't know if he will be happy seeing a little lip sticking out the side of my skull. The BAHA, Bone Anchored Hearing Aid, does in fact come into direct contact with this piece of my flesh, but there isn't any pain associated with it. Yet, anyways. If it shrinks we celebrate - if it grows, it's back to the slice-n-dice. As of this morning the size remains the same as last week. Time will tell. We'll talk in a spell.
We'll also discuss whatever confusion there may be between She-With-Many-Name's and this clinic. As a patient, I want my Neurologist to know that she makes the calls on the cervical spine and neurologically related issues. Cart Blanche. My Doctor Danner, makes all the calls on the Meniere's Disease front. This waiting around for He to approve She is for the fucking birds. I have been in pain and discomfort in my scalp, neck and shoulder for well over a week. Apparently, Botox, does not do me well. Please.
Shit!
My In-Law's will be here directly for a trip Down Town. May our visit be a Blessed visit.
Would you judge me harshly if I shared that I could go back to sleep. An hour ago?
It is written that 6,000 people were murdered in Syria, by Assad and his military in the month of March. I see that more children have been killed than Women and I ask myself, what the fuck is going on here? Why is it that Mother Earth and Her People's have turned a collected back on these wonderful peoples of Syria, my fellow Humans. My Kindred Spirit's...
...the Government's of every country on this globe has stamped, "APPROVED", on the Genocide perpetrated today. Just as it was the Government's of this World turned their backs on what Hitler was doing with Jewish citizens. As a Child Of God, I pray, as a citizen of Mother Earth, I scream for justice, and as a Kindred Spirit, my Heart, Mind, and Spirit's are sad and bitter. It remains my belief that if Syria and her Citizens were a White People's - our Marines, Army Soldiers, Navy and Air Force would have been all over this abomination to all Man Kind.
I have no more to say.
No comments:
Post a Comment