Relations,
The yard groomers interrupted my gardening. Which is probably a good thing because I was tasking and gardening without cease. With a focus, yes, yet scatter minded in a certain way. Pushing and pushing to accomplish what I would consider a good tasking and a proper good damned gardening. ..
...just kept doing what has been therapeutic for me this early Tuesday, sunny, cool, and very breezy, Tuesday, 06 March 12. This "tasking and gardening", is a good way for me to push the physical as well as the mental. While gardening for example, I pray. My hands and fingers touch Earth Mother, whether it be my Sacred Circle in the North West yard or the Palms and two bushes in the North East yard. I feel closer to the Great Spirit, when and while I garden. My mind and Spirit's are provided an opportunity to be closer to far and away.
I garden on my hands and knees. As this is a necessity for I have fallen and usually fell forward on too many occasions to be bending over. A way of Life I continue to focus positive energy on. My limitations to what it is I can and can not do, and please understand and let it be known these are not matters of the "wont's". Because my dearest Kindred, It is the way this is supposed to be. There is still a piece of me that wants me to continue with the physicality's. O', there simply must me a message on this path of mine. It is my responsibility for me to listen, read or see this message...
...when I find it, I will scream out and aloud the Meaning of My Life!
In a recent post I communicated about I am who I am and I am not Meniere's. Too many Kinfolk continue to play, mock and or make fun of this Meneire's and what it continues to do to my body, what it has done to me, my family and our dreams. If not for our dreams and plans, and reasons to push and push and yes, PUSH, "Pray Until Something Happens!", My Path, would have been stifled and altered long ago. Today has been a day with which to push and endure the what-ever-may-comes's. So I push and have pushed as hard as I can. Like the Top Secret message I have picked up from the KGB just minutes ago. Much chatter comes via Morris Code. The beepety-beep-beeeeeps and tick-ticks in my Deaf Left Ear. Will somebody please address this scenario?! I mean, really?
The exile would have been and was in fact almost too much for me to bare. I am only a human and my Spirit's...
...and alters.
The Meniere's dictates what I do or don't do. Today, nausea has been in the mid-range all day. The dizziness is enough to have to walk with purpose and makes my getting up very awkward. Mandatory step-by-step on the physical exertion.. Have let sweat both healthily and by way of the Meniere's...
...damned if I do and damned if I don't sort. I really, would rather work for my sweat. Know what I mean? It's disgusting to be in a cool place or in a cold place and be sweating because of the disease Meniere's. No, it doesn't make alot of sense. None, as far as I can tell. And you see, this is just one aspect of how deeply Meniere's has moved in to live with my family and I. Shit! There just has to be a hint in here someplace where I can hear and understand what is being said and or done. As in hearing the new door bell system to alert me when some one is at the front door of our lodge. If somebody knocks, they're pretty much shit out of luck. From afar, a door knock is silent. Oh well.
Oneness with Earth Mother is letting Mother Earth be a part of your day to day life style.
This is life as I am. I am as I live. So I fucking PUSH!
Love, peace and more peace,
me
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