Something's Bright Ahead...A Reality Check

While sitting in "my" chair at Sir Dude's office and while in the midst of communications and exchanges, a few things went clunk-clunk in my mind, center and Spirit's...much more than an "aha" moment for sure.

The catastrophic events across Earth Mother, in Japan, in China and Northern Africa, has reminded me of something that has stirred up a bit of the want to kick ass with the pushing of the proverbial envelope. My prayers and good energies are sent in all directions of the globe...

...the images burnt into my Mind's Eye, shook the very fondation on which I base my Life's Path...the decisions made or not made, the Directions I would travel to get to this point...

Oh God, please read these words...

How can I be so sad, blue and depressed to the point of medication and therapy? When entire city's are not there anymore...be self-loathing, while thousands and thousands have died or have lost kinfolk, home and way of life.

Why must I cry these tears? With self-doubt? To despair from deafness in one ear and loss of hearing in the other, loss of balance, and change of life is justified. Yes. True and it is true. But...

...I hear something whisper in my left ear that this "Years Long Winter", is breaking up...soon it will pass and leave me in a better place. The Self-Pity will be pushed from my mind and pushed harder than the envelope...

The Pity Party is over! Please, My Good God, read these words.

Pray more for others and less for self.

Proclaiming 2011/2012, my "Farewell Tour", from musical events, based on the knowledge my hearing seems to only worsen as time comes and goes. So as much as we might afford or even freebies, I hope to enjoy as many musical events as possible over the next year and one half. The "Farewell Tour", was received very well by my therapist...almost a standing ovation.

Proclaiming 2011/2012, healthier times for me. The Meniere's Disease is as it shall be. There ain't shit I can do about the vertigo attacks and the freaking symptoms that come along post-attack. The symptoms I contend with daily will do as they will. So I will ensure that when I have a Strong Pony under butt, I will ride the Strong Pony to Deaf! Due to the sugar scare while in hospital and the immediate controlled intake of all foods and drink I have lost many pounds. The sugar level is controlled. My body wants me to do more! I want to exercise more! I want to have better strength all around for when I do venture out of doors. Wherever it may be.

Sir Dude, is all about the yoga. Think I'll have a look and see.

There is an unfortunate certainty that I have made many mistakes along this Path over the past few years. Maybe it was I who chased them away, my Relations, not the Winds of Fall...maybe it was I who put up walls and barriers. Looking only with-in, in my sad and lonely world. For me, created and perpetuated the self-pity that grew into a heavy load...not only for I, but on All of my Relations.

I am aware today is today. This is where I am today. I am alive. I am married to my best friend. I have two beautiful daughter's. And yes, I am a mixed breed. I am thankful for today...for where I am at this very moment.

Where I'll be tomorrow is up to The Great Spirit. Think I'll take a stroll down this, My Path...have a go at it!

There is something bright at the end of the tunnel and no it's not the light of a train! It's the Light of Hope. I can smell it...