Hello and greetings Kindred. Just a brief note on the going's on around here lately. Clarify a thought or two and keep the going's on, going on.
Please do note, all boundaries established and words pertaining to boundaries provided in earlier posts remain the same. Sorry, these remain steadfast.
Had a meet and greet with Brother Sir Dude, my therapist, this morning. I expected less of today's gathering when I walked in and left with so much more than I could have hoped for. Almost as if there was a tune up of the inner engine...went in not feeling so nice about self, before I knew it, it was time to scoot. Lord, know's I know, time fly's when one's alive. I suspect Sir Dude appreciates my expanding the boundaries on this present Path of mine. There's also no doubt Sir, has an excellent idea of the sort of fellow I am. He know's more about me than I do for Pete's sake. With the passing of time, have learned to respect, trust and love the patient - therapist relationship that has been established. I appreciate his teachings and shared same as I left his office shortly after noon. Today, much was covered, a huge shit load really and I am okay with this, my Relations. Really thankful too...
...so yes way, I am. Will live this life with thanks, in grace and not forget to love. Others, as well as myself...
...I think I thought, I forgot what love was.
Last Wednesday, was able to visit with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain. Had excellent exchange and was of course able to get one of his fantastic doctor/dude hugs. Always a heart felt, Relation's way to hug. Free medicine I tell you! Due to the plopping in my right ear getting worse rather than better, Doctor decided to try another type-o-pill. I agreed. Knowing it still too early to base opinions, I'll wait another couple or few days. Okay, no I won't wait then...the plopping continues. As recently as an hour ago...
...today is Tuesday, the 22nd of March. Earlier this afternoon, I had another situation when and where I lost total hearing in my right ear. Was laying in bed when it happened and just waited for it to come back to me...when it did, I slept for a while. I beleive this was the longest gap of time with the silence. My crystal ball tells me a total loss of hearing would break me. No, I don't want to deal with this or that. Not right now anyway...the nausea is moderatly high as is the dizziness. Have a constant piiiiiinnnnnnnnnnging going on in my Left-Deaf-Ear and at this moment a roaring, as in at the bottom of a large water fall roaring, is living in my Right-Good-Bad-Ear. The Funky Worm, has returned to the left side of my head...the space between my flesh and skull. So damn weird to feel what truly feels like Earth Worm sized worms wiggling about! Honey please, this shit's simply not cool. I believe it to be healing nerves and such, but I do not know. Will have to leave that up to He-Who-Touched-My-Brain. It's just not normal or right, true? Please...
Have you ever had a spasm on your face?
My BAHA, Bone Anchored Hearing Aid, needs another repair. Hope to get it to Dr. B.'s, sometime this week. Her plan is to send it off for repair...which render's me SSD, Single Sided Deaf for as long as the repair may take. I hope not too long. Have grown attached to my BAHA and this is not the first time me and my BAHA have been seperated. I've placed a faux diamond chip on the outside of one of the processor sheilds. So cool! Offers a little bling to the three ear thing. Yes, I do consider it so and surgicaly correct to state I have same, thus it is so, I have three ears...betcha I have three ears to bathe. Alright then...
**NOTE: A NOTE TO OTHER'S WHO HAVE A BAHA OR ARE SSD, SINGLE SIDED DEAF.**
If I could reach just a few of us who wear a BAHA, we're 70,000 strong, I would share that I have taught myself to enjoy both ear buds from my i-pod! Over the course of the past two or so years, I continued to enjoy my pod - never gave up. Being SSD provides but one ear to listen with, thus one ear bud is used, so I place one bud in my Right-Good-Bad-Ear-Hole and the other behind my ear pointed toward my inner ear - rather like wearing a pencil behind one's ear! Holy Mole it WORKS!!! I have challenged kinfolk with two ears to try it. So cool...
The nose bleeds continue. Two in the past week. Think I'll dust off the ole nettie pot for a spell. This is my curse...my man-period. Hush...hell, as long as this been going on, seems to me as if there would be a name or diagnosis for this by now.
It is time I get back to Crazy Horse, Sitting Bull, and Red Cloud.
Tomorrow I begin Yoga.
Walking my Path is filled with the notes of music...it helps the medicine go down. One beat at a time, keeping the going's on, going on. One day, one step at a time.
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