Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Meniere's and I, 28 December 2012
I listened to the tune of a one single tone, "beep" for just about two hours straight last early evening. It had been an off and on thing through-out most of the day, but last evening it took ahold of my Hard of Hearing Right Ear and totally made a nuisance of it's self. So carried away and lingering was the tune, I had to lay my skull down for some Sleep Therapy. Sleep Therapy, is something that comes about post vertigo attack for me...
...there's a hint I get when I've hit a slide into sleep and rest. My head will jerk to aside or different parts of my body makes a sudden burst of energy, Even if I've never used that particular body part or muscle before. Once this has happened "one" time, I know I'll soon be off to Dream World. There are evenings of sleeps where this may happen more than once...
...it does not matter to me. I am aware I will soon be off to sleep once the jerks kick in. I Thank God, as soon as I feel the first pull-into-sleep jerk. These are non-medicated sleep's, by the way. These come about because of the physical and emotional drain and strain that accompanies this pecular symptom of a Meniere's Disease Attack.
No, it is not the first time a sound has sent me off into an attack. It's common enough.
It's in the low 50's out and I'm sweating in this room tonight. I am wearing a cap of sweat and perspiration. It's past mid-night and I sit here with spots of wetness on my t-shirt.
I am nauseated to my Adam's apple. This late morning when I awoke, my throat and glands on left side of my face were swollen plenty and ached.
Look, I'm 52 years old for Pete's Sake...
...still a fairly young Dude. I would like to think.
The dizziness is to the point where I must read and re-read every entry to check for misspelled words and such. I really don't want to post too many words incorrectly spelled. Dig?
Have slept 18 hours over the past 24. I wonder, WTF? Will return to bed and the Dream World with-in the next few minutes.
The balance and coordination piece has been off and poor. Bumping into walls, furniture and cars.
The hearing in my HH right ear has been and is poor. After all, this is from where the non-stop beep took place.
My Left Deaf Ear has been catching messages from the M-15. Coded messages.
The Morris Code has been going on and on. I am listening to this now.
I have read and re-read enough. Good Night Relations.
I'm keeping John Wayne near by.
That's all...
...there's a hint I get when I've hit a slide into sleep and rest. My head will jerk to aside or different parts of my body makes a sudden burst of energy, Even if I've never used that particular body part or muscle before. Once this has happened "one" time, I know I'll soon be off to Dream World. There are evenings of sleeps where this may happen more than once...
...it does not matter to me. I am aware I will soon be off to sleep once the jerks kick in. I Thank God, as soon as I feel the first pull-into-sleep jerk. These are non-medicated sleep's, by the way. These come about because of the physical and emotional drain and strain that accompanies this pecular symptom of a Meniere's Disease Attack.
No, it is not the first time a sound has sent me off into an attack. It's common enough.
It's in the low 50's out and I'm sweating in this room tonight. I am wearing a cap of sweat and perspiration. It's past mid-night and I sit here with spots of wetness on my t-shirt.
I am nauseated to my Adam's apple. This late morning when I awoke, my throat and glands on left side of my face were swollen plenty and ached.
Look, I'm 52 years old for Pete's Sake...
...still a fairly young Dude. I would like to think.
The dizziness is to the point where I must read and re-read every entry to check for misspelled words and such. I really don't want to post too many words incorrectly spelled. Dig?
Have slept 18 hours over the past 24. I wonder, WTF? Will return to bed and the Dream World with-in the next few minutes.
The balance and coordination piece has been off and poor. Bumping into walls, furniture and cars.
The hearing in my HH right ear has been and is poor. After all, this is from where the non-stop beep took place.
My Left Deaf Ear has been catching messages from the M-15. Coded messages.
The Morris Code has been going on and on. I am listening to this now.
I have read and re-read enough. Good Night Relations.
I'm keeping John Wayne near by.
That's all...
Saturday, December 24, 2011
This Is The 360th Communique
Dearest Relations,
Yes, it's true, this is my 360th communique since starting "way" back in August of 2010...
...and how splendid it is, that this should come about on Christmas Eve.
I wanted to take a couple of minutes to share well wishes with All of my Relations here on this little Orb we call Mother Earth. Especially to my family, my dear daughter who lives far, far and away, and to all who have visited this blog, Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path. It is so cool to have you stop by for a check up on My Path, my Life. I very truly am thankful and humbled by the you all, my Kinfolk, Kindred, and Relations who have stopped by for a look and read. I'm Blessed.
This Meniere's is not even going to let up today. Won't get into too many details, but I be damned if I'm not dizzy, nauseated, and listening to the beeping-beep-beep's of Morris Code coming out of Gorky Park over in Russia. Listening to this from my Left Deaf Ear even. Seem's as if the one tapping is in a hurry...
...suppose she want's to get home for Christmas too.
Which brings me to my number one message to each and every person who stops by and read this note. Please Relations, have a very Happy and Merry, and Joyful Christmas. May The Great Spirit, Bless All of You with good health.
Had to bring John Wayne in from pasture. Po' fellow was exhausted and hungry too. He's a horny such-n-such too, ya know?
Anyway's, once again, Merry Christmas!
That's all I've got to say.
Yes, it's true, this is my 360th communique since starting "way" back in August of 2010...
...and how splendid it is, that this should come about on Christmas Eve.
I wanted to take a couple of minutes to share well wishes with All of my Relations here on this little Orb we call Mother Earth. Especially to my family, my dear daughter who lives far, far and away, and to all who have visited this blog, Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path. It is so cool to have you stop by for a check up on My Path, my Life. I very truly am thankful and humbled by the you all, my Kinfolk, Kindred, and Relations who have stopped by for a look and read. I'm Blessed.
This Meniere's is not even going to let up today. Won't get into too many details, but I be damned if I'm not dizzy, nauseated, and listening to the beeping-beep-beep's of Morris Code coming out of Gorky Park over in Russia. Listening to this from my Left Deaf Ear even. Seem's as if the one tapping is in a hurry...
...suppose she want's to get home for Christmas too.
Which brings me to my number one message to each and every person who stops by and read this note. Please Relations, have a very Happy and Merry, and Joyful Christmas. May The Great Spirit, Bless All of You with good health.
Had to bring John Wayne in from pasture. Po' fellow was exhausted and hungry too. He's a horny such-n-such too, ya know?
Anyway's, once again, Merry Christmas!
That's all I've got to say.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Just Another Statistic - Say What?
Today, is the 22nd of December 2011...
I have felt and have been upset by being stolen from. Another Victim Stat!
The Company JC Penney, had the UPS deliver a package/packages of items that were meant to be wrapped and given to my family. The JC Penny say the UPS dropped it off at 1446 on Monday, 19 December 2011...
...no, it has not been delivered or it was in fact stolen from the front porch of my Lodge. The House of Seven Windows...
...negated by the Sheriff Department, as far as reporting to local Law Enforcement Office. I had to call JC Penny back to ask them to please have the UPS to conduct an investigation in "conjunction with Local Law Enforcement. ? Say What?!
JC Penny has done the something that really touched my heart and Spirit's. JC Penny, has taken up much time with this scenrio and did something that blew my mind...
...they credited the first transaction and are having this transaction begun a new. And are having this "next-dayed" so that I'll recieve the next package tomorrow! The day before Our Good Night. Our Christmas Eve. That's some Legendary Customer Care, right there. What a Blessing indeed.
I took names, but I would rather not write names. I am thankful and appreciative to every Customer Rep. From The JC Penny, the UPS and the Sheriff. I have a neighbour who informed me that he saw the truck but did not see a drop off. So I called the JC Penny back. Wanted to call the Sheriff again to have a chat. Even though I was, "DENIED!" the first time around. LMAO! That's some passing it along right there.
It's very odd to feel the victim inside my chest. Still very much alive. It's as if I have just become - "just another victim".
So, it's like my Spirit's and the all of me are tired of that fucking word, victim! So I don't want to say it - I don't want to be it!
Just another statistic.
That's All...
I have felt and have been upset by being stolen from. Another Victim Stat!
The Company JC Penney, had the UPS deliver a package/packages of items that were meant to be wrapped and given to my family. The JC Penny say the UPS dropped it off at 1446 on Monday, 19 December 2011...
...no, it has not been delivered or it was in fact stolen from the front porch of my Lodge. The House of Seven Windows...
...negated by the Sheriff Department, as far as reporting to local Law Enforcement Office. I had to call JC Penny back to ask them to please have the UPS to conduct an investigation in "conjunction with Local Law Enforcement. ? Say What?!
JC Penny has done the something that really touched my heart and Spirit's. JC Penny, has taken up much time with this scenrio and did something that blew my mind...
...they credited the first transaction and are having this transaction begun a new. And are having this "next-dayed" so that I'll recieve the next package tomorrow! The day before Our Good Night. Our Christmas Eve. That's some Legendary Customer Care, right there. What a Blessing indeed.
I took names, but I would rather not write names. I am thankful and appreciative to every Customer Rep. From The JC Penny, the UPS and the Sheriff. I have a neighbour who informed me that he saw the truck but did not see a drop off. So I called the JC Penny back. Wanted to call the Sheriff again to have a chat. Even though I was, "DENIED!" the first time around. LMAO! That's some passing it along right there.
It's very odd to feel the victim inside my chest. Still very much alive. It's as if I have just become - "just another victim".
So, it's like my Spirit's and the all of me are tired of that fucking word, victim! So I don't want to say it - I don't want to be it!
Just another statistic.
That's All...
Meniere's, Hurt Back and I
Oh my dearest Kindred, I am not knowing how long I will be on this computer today as I sit here tip-tap-tipping away...
I do want to say that I have really done gone on and hurt the ole lower lumbar's. Dreadful pain and I mean to say some dreadfully shittin' pain. I don't know. What can you do when you live in a shoe?
The past several day's have been very difficult to navigate. It has been since the 16th of December, that I have begun to become overwhelmed with symptoms of an attack that I am still waiting for? And wait. And then?
...the dizzines has been whirl around the carrousel type of dizzy. The entire balance and coordination piece has had me on High Alert. And stll, I trip, bounce, bump into shit everyday for day's. Fortunately, no falls.
Sweating profusely at the drop of a hat - off and on and on and off. If not sweating, perspiring or misting. At this moment I am perspiring close to sweating. I feel this on my legs, ankels, top of head and am wearing a necklase of perspiration. Am sweating under my arms and feel the trailing of this uncomfortable situation.
My symptoms of nausea have been exceptionally harsh. Having had productive nausea. Throwing up into my mouth has become routine. Sometimes, I feel the vomit right up to the top of my throat but have been able to keep these from going to my mouth. There is never anything funny of the nausea.
The Worm's come and go. I think it would be right good of me to thank the One, who has been called, "She-Who-Intimedates-Me". Maybe come the New Year, a different name will be adopted for She. If not for She increasing intake of the "nerve tablet", the Worms would be much more active. I am able to say this as one who had the sensations of Worms in my head.
My left Deaf ear is listening, yes, I said Deaf, to the chirping of baby birds somewhere up there between my ears. Chip-chirp-chirping, something crazy and is about to drive me mad! If not the freaking chirping it has been listening to the Secret Codes coming out of Botswana.
My right HH ear is listening to rain and there is no clouds in the bright clear blue sky. I also am able to hear the crickets from the Everglades.
Them sumbitches must be huge and their living somewhere with-in a fold of mine brain. There has been too many consecutive day's with bad or poor hearing, and the moments of complete silence still scare me to deaf. So I wonder? And really hope the silence never remains for a long or extended amount of time. I would freak.
I must take a time out and go lay down. My back is hurting really-really-I-want-to-cuss-bad.
I'll conclude this with some positive news and thus, I delight in sharing with all Relations, that there has been additions to Our Global Family, France and Bangladesh have taken a look and see. I welcome you with open heart and an extended hand in respect and peace. I am humbled by your visit. Thank you.
Please Kindred know that if anyone should ever have a question, please never hesitate to jot one down in the comments section of the blogg.
This is all.
I do want to say that I have really done gone on and hurt the ole lower lumbar's. Dreadful pain and I mean to say some dreadfully shittin' pain. I don't know. What can you do when you live in a shoe?
The past several day's have been very difficult to navigate. It has been since the 16th of December, that I have begun to become overwhelmed with symptoms of an attack that I am still waiting for? And wait. And then?
...the dizzines has been whirl around the carrousel type of dizzy. The entire balance and coordination piece has had me on High Alert. And stll, I trip, bounce, bump into shit everyday for day's. Fortunately, no falls.
Sweating profusely at the drop of a hat - off and on and on and off. If not sweating, perspiring or misting. At this moment I am perspiring close to sweating. I feel this on my legs, ankels, top of head and am wearing a necklase of perspiration. Am sweating under my arms and feel the trailing of this uncomfortable situation.
My symptoms of nausea have been exceptionally harsh. Having had productive nausea. Throwing up into my mouth has become routine. Sometimes, I feel the vomit right up to the top of my throat but have been able to keep these from going to my mouth. There is never anything funny of the nausea.
The Worm's come and go. I think it would be right good of me to thank the One, who has been called, "She-Who-Intimedates-Me". Maybe come the New Year, a different name will be adopted for She. If not for She increasing intake of the "nerve tablet", the Worms would be much more active. I am able to say this as one who had the sensations of Worms in my head.
My left Deaf ear is listening, yes, I said Deaf, to the chirping of baby birds somewhere up there between my ears. Chip-chirp-chirping, something crazy and is about to drive me mad! If not the freaking chirping it has been listening to the Secret Codes coming out of Botswana.
My right HH ear is listening to rain and there is no clouds in the bright clear blue sky. I also am able to hear the crickets from the Everglades.
Them sumbitches must be huge and their living somewhere with-in a fold of mine brain. There has been too many consecutive day's with bad or poor hearing, and the moments of complete silence still scare me to deaf. So I wonder? And really hope the silence never remains for a long or extended amount of time. I would freak.
I must take a time out and go lay down. My back is hurting really-really-I-want-to-cuss-bad.
I'll conclude this with some positive news and thus, I delight in sharing with all Relations, that there has been additions to Our Global Family, France and Bangladesh have taken a look and see. I welcome you with open heart and an extended hand in respect and peace. I am humbled by your visit. Thank you.
Please Kindred know that if anyone should ever have a question, please never hesitate to jot one down in the comments section of the blogg.
This is all.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
No. No Cars, Planes, or Train Jumping. What?
Ahh, have I kept that conversation with my dear friend close on my mind and in my heart or what? The more his words resonate within, the more I realize and question myself about the Path I have traveled for what feels like a life time. I could hear a smile in his voice, but I knew my Brother from Guam was very serious. He has alway's taken our Kindred Kinship very seriously. Sounds to me he prefer I continue living and moving along with this grand-as-possible-sort-of-life.
As I do, and as I too have alway's taken our Kindred Kinship Omni-Presently Serious. Life goes on, ya know? I want to live this Life of mine and remain focused on what it is I am to do about my own illness's and pain's...
...and assist my brudda from Guam, "Maintaining Communications" as we did with the HHQ! Duuuuuuuude! Damn you, I love you!
I've let guilt take a moment since we spoke last. It hurts my Spirit's, to know that I hurt my Right-Very-Best-Good-Friend, my brotha-from-anotha-Mista, and I am honestly humbled, Mr. Guam. Your heart is already heavy and ailing you as it does. You don't need as much more "drama" as One might could get from other Folk's house. True? Eh? Oui! I pray for you to maintain vigilance on remaining a healthy and happy Dude/Dad/Husband/Son/Very Best Good Friend. Oh, and by the way, I in-turn will inquire about you and your's. Alrighty then.........
...what year was it Ole Fellow, you won that there Mr. Guam, title? 1976? Didn't you win it twice? I fergit.
I also want to take a moment to apologize to my bride, my dearest Brenda. My splendidly beautiful daughter's, All my Kinfolk and All mine Kindred. It would be a lie if I were to say I never thought of some dumb shit about hurting myself. I have spoken of doing self-bodily harm and such and that. But my Relations, that's limited to those way's and thing's I would do to punish myself...
...these thought's and contemplation live between these Ear's...
...but, you know what? I'm trying to live so the preacher won't have to lie. Yes, that little line is from one of my favorite singer's. But, it sure carries a heavy note in heart. And, this is where I have been...
...living as sweet and positive a life as I can. Spread love and peace to as many Kindred I might possibly reach. Like, it's just that! This killing One'self is totally against my plans for my life. My life has indeed been grand! It has also been the Roller Coaster from Hell that I/We have fought and am still fighting. But, I'm not going anywhere. I have a Life to live and I wish to live it with as much "mucho gusto" as I might muster!
The punishment piece was routine as a child and adolescent, you see?. It was a part of the "All" of it. For so many decades I held all of the responsibilty of the sexual abuse, the emotional, physical, mental abuse's, and yes, I know better and have the tools with which to deal with certain episodes of Life. That punishment was such a routine and part of my young life by other's, that I then as a Victim, would punish and hurt myself for whatever it was I thought was routine. I felt that it was necessary to be punished for what it was those Men taught and did to me. It was my duty and my nature to insure somebody was held accounatable...
...it was alway's me. No, I never spoke up...
...THEN!
It's crazy-mad how Life Goes On.
No, my Relations, there won't be any jumping 'round here. I love life and look forward to my tomorrow...
...my morrow's. Hell, I'm like a puppy waiting for Mommy to come home from work everyday. I bark along with our hounds in joy that "Mommy's Home"! Woof-Woof!!
The shit I've put this WOman through back in our youth! Is really a whole other blog full. I think I was a Cosmic Dogg. Yes! I'll admit it! I was a Dogg before Snoop Dogg. Please, why lie? The things I would do and the risks I took. I am forever thankful and Blessed by Great Spirit. Great Spirit, alway's had me covered. As many time's as I placed myself in to dangerous situations, Great Spirit was there protecting me from disease, disorder's, violence, and suicide. The Great One, Blessed me with this strong, yet delicate, and loving Woman to call my Bride. We're more than Soul Mates - we're truly Universal Mates. Meaning, I am very well aware this relationship was writen in the "Book", long before we were even born. Oh Lord, thank you for your love and influence in our lives. Thank you for my Cowgirl, Brenda Jean. I love her more than life. That right there is One Big reason, I am not willing to expedite my departure from my Family or this planet, Our Earth Mother. I Love to Laugh and I love to eat. I Love to Live!
life goes on...
...so, no, there won't be any jumping here. Not from car's, or train's or plane's. Remember this, if I wouldn't jump from this U.S. Army's planes - I will not be jumping for recreation. Recreation? Really? Shit, I would be one of them you'ld read about in the press or see on television or hear on the radio, "Mr. Mario Sierra, a Mixed Breed and Florida Native, died yesterday when his parachute failed to open while jumping out of some dumb ass plane." Recreation? Ha! Please! Ha!
Relations, yes I have issues. Emotional and physical. I am dealing with these in a rational and responsible manner...
...I seem to be morphing into another me. Yes, I know that I have a depression issue, so I eat anti-sad pills and try my best to be more positive and peaceful to others, while also being more positive and peaceful to self. True to self. Yes? Oui!
This is all I have to say.
As I do, and as I too have alway's taken our Kindred Kinship Omni-Presently Serious. Life goes on, ya know? I want to live this Life of mine and remain focused on what it is I am to do about my own illness's and pain's...
...and assist my brudda from Guam, "Maintaining Communications" as we did with the HHQ! Duuuuuuuude! Damn you, I love you!
I've let guilt take a moment since we spoke last. It hurts my Spirit's, to know that I hurt my Right-Very-Best-Good-Friend, my brotha-from-anotha-Mista, and I am honestly humbled, Mr. Guam. Your heart is already heavy and ailing you as it does. You don't need as much more "drama" as One might could get from other Folk's house. True? Eh? Oui! I pray for you to maintain vigilance on remaining a healthy and happy Dude/Dad/Husband/Son/Very Best Good Friend. Oh, and by the way, I in-turn will inquire about you and your's. Alrighty then.........
...what year was it Ole Fellow, you won that there Mr. Guam, title? 1976? Didn't you win it twice? I fergit.
I also want to take a moment to apologize to my bride, my dearest Brenda. My splendidly beautiful daughter's, All my Kinfolk and All mine Kindred. It would be a lie if I were to say I never thought of some dumb shit about hurting myself. I have spoken of doing self-bodily harm and such and that. But my Relations, that's limited to those way's and thing's I would do to punish myself...
...these thought's and contemplation live between these Ear's...
...but, you know what? I'm trying to live so the preacher won't have to lie. Yes, that little line is from one of my favorite singer's. But, it sure carries a heavy note in heart. And, this is where I have been...
...living as sweet and positive a life as I can. Spread love and peace to as many Kindred I might possibly reach. Like, it's just that! This killing One'self is totally against my plans for my life. My life has indeed been grand! It has also been the Roller Coaster from Hell that I/We have fought and am still fighting. But, I'm not going anywhere. I have a Life to live and I wish to live it with as much "mucho gusto" as I might muster!
The punishment piece was routine as a child and adolescent, you see?. It was a part of the "All" of it. For so many decades I held all of the responsibilty of the sexual abuse, the emotional, physical, mental abuse's, and yes, I know better and have the tools with which to deal with certain episodes of Life. That punishment was such a routine and part of my young life by other's, that I then as a Victim, would punish and hurt myself for whatever it was I thought was routine. I felt that it was necessary to be punished for what it was those Men taught and did to me. It was my duty and my nature to insure somebody was held accounatable...
...it was alway's me. No, I never spoke up...
...THEN!
It's crazy-mad how Life Goes On.
No, my Relations, there won't be any jumping 'round here. I love life and look forward to my tomorrow...
...my morrow's. Hell, I'm like a puppy waiting for Mommy to come home from work everyday. I bark along with our hounds in joy that "Mommy's Home"! Woof-Woof!!
The shit I've put this WOman through back in our youth! Is really a whole other blog full. I think I was a Cosmic Dogg. Yes! I'll admit it! I was a Dogg before Snoop Dogg. Please, why lie? The things I would do and the risks I took. I am forever thankful and Blessed by Great Spirit. Great Spirit, alway's had me covered. As many time's as I placed myself in to dangerous situations, Great Spirit was there protecting me from disease, disorder's, violence, and suicide. The Great One, Blessed me with this strong, yet delicate, and loving Woman to call my Bride. We're more than Soul Mates - we're truly Universal Mates. Meaning, I am very well aware this relationship was writen in the "Book", long before we were even born. Oh Lord, thank you for your love and influence in our lives. Thank you for my Cowgirl, Brenda Jean. I love her more than life. That right there is One Big reason, I am not willing to expedite my departure from my Family or this planet, Our Earth Mother. I Love to Laugh and I love to eat. I Love to Live!
life goes on...
...so, no, there won't be any jumping here. Not from car's, or train's or plane's. Remember this, if I wouldn't jump from this U.S. Army's planes - I will not be jumping for recreation. Recreation? Really? Shit, I would be one of them you'ld read about in the press or see on television or hear on the radio, "Mr. Mario Sierra, a Mixed Breed and Florida Native, died yesterday when his parachute failed to open while jumping out of some dumb ass plane." Recreation? Ha! Please! Ha!
Relations, yes I have issues. Emotional and physical. I am dealing with these in a rational and responsible manner...
...I seem to be morphing into another me. Yes, I know that I have a depression issue, so I eat anti-sad pills and try my best to be more positive and peaceful to others, while also being more positive and peaceful to self. True to self. Yes? Oui!
This is all I have to say.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Life Goes On
Thank you, to those who have added their country to the growing population of Kindred who read Mario's Path, which is of course, My Path...
...thank you to them who are from Italy, The United Arab Emirates, Turkey, Georgia, France, Ghana and Qatar. It is an Honor to have had you stop by, if even but for a paragraph or two. You are welcome.
I often wonder about the Kindred who live in other far and away places. Are you guest's with this Meniere's Disease? Are you comparing your sypmtoms to mine? Do you have a doctor like mine, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain? A doctor I have trusted with my life and my hearing. A person I have grown to love and am Honored to say his name aloud in public. Are you students in the Medical and or Health Care Professions? I often times consider the same of my own fellow country Men and WOmen...
...I am amazed at the amount of guests I have had stop by for a read or listen. By end of year I will be approaching 6,500 guests. My simple mind and simple way of looking at Life has not comprehended the concept that Folk's, really do care and check up on me every once in a while. Or how is it that one so simple - speaking simple truth's about my illness's and my Life's journey...
...and even pepper my languauge with a shitty word or two every so often, would still receive contacts from Fellow Earth Mates from all corners of this planet, Our Earth Mother.
My Heart, Spirit's and Soul, cry's and prays for those less fortunate than me. I have seen and have experianced alot of Life's illnesses and injustices personally...
...but, really? We have G.I.'s coming home limbless, blind, harshly wounded. PTSD. Coming home? The Country dishonor's our Honorable One's by welcoming them home with no jobs to earn an honest dollar. Ill equiped to take proper care of the severely wounded. Or properly dispose of remains.
I see how my fellow Earth Mates, are not treated with respect or dignity, nor do they have the freedom to speak of what it is in their minds. That's all some want, is simply to share what's on their mind.
Have seen so much and too much Blood on the media and in the press. I may require glasses to see and read, but damnit if the Blood I see being let on the streets of some country's, that really, are not that far from where I live. Blood is blood and your blood is the same color as my blood.
Heavens...
I began by thanking you my guest's, and got all complicated with the wish and desires I have for peace on Our Earth Mother. So, I'll end by saying once again, thank you. Thank you, for having a look and read. I hope that some how, some way, we are able to work as a team to improve our Health and Emotional Care Status. No matter where we may live.
Life Goes On.
This is all.
...thank you to them who are from Italy, The United Arab Emirates, Turkey, Georgia, France, Ghana and Qatar. It is an Honor to have had you stop by, if even but for a paragraph or two. You are welcome.
I often wonder about the Kindred who live in other far and away places. Are you guest's with this Meniere's Disease? Are you comparing your sypmtoms to mine? Do you have a doctor like mine, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain? A doctor I have trusted with my life and my hearing. A person I have grown to love and am Honored to say his name aloud in public. Are you students in the Medical and or Health Care Professions? I often times consider the same of my own fellow country Men and WOmen...
...I am amazed at the amount of guests I have had stop by for a read or listen. By end of year I will be approaching 6,500 guests. My simple mind and simple way of looking at Life has not comprehended the concept that Folk's, really do care and check up on me every once in a while. Or how is it that one so simple - speaking simple truth's about my illness's and my Life's journey...
...and even pepper my languauge with a shitty word or two every so often, would still receive contacts from Fellow Earth Mates from all corners of this planet, Our Earth Mother.
My Heart, Spirit's and Soul, cry's and prays for those less fortunate than me. I have seen and have experianced alot of Life's illnesses and injustices personally...
...but, really? We have G.I.'s coming home limbless, blind, harshly wounded. PTSD. Coming home? The Country dishonor's our Honorable One's by welcoming them home with no jobs to earn an honest dollar. Ill equiped to take proper care of the severely wounded. Or properly dispose of remains.
I see how my fellow Earth Mates, are not treated with respect or dignity, nor do they have the freedom to speak of what it is in their minds. That's all some want, is simply to share what's on their mind.
Have seen so much and too much Blood on the media and in the press. I may require glasses to see and read, but damnit if the Blood I see being let on the streets of some country's, that really, are not that far from where I live. Blood is blood and your blood is the same color as my blood.
Heavens...
I began by thanking you my guest's, and got all complicated with the wish and desires I have for peace on Our Earth Mother. So, I'll end by saying once again, thank you. Thank you, for having a look and read. I hope that some how, some way, we are able to work as a team to improve our Health and Emotional Care Status. No matter where we may live.
Life Goes On.
This is all.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
No. No Jumping Here, My Brother...
I had a very dear friend, ask me this just question very recently, "You're not going to be jumping off any bridges are you"?....
...my immediate response was, Hell no! I don't do the jumps! From like anywhere! Not in the U.S. Army - Not Now! I'm just not the jumping sort. I am that dreadfully affraid of heights. No. No shit! Just plain ole no.
I suppose some time has passed since I last touched base on that aspect of my inner thought processes when it comes to/with this damned Meniere's Disease.
I am thinking I am on a different plain - a different place when it comes to this stinking meniere's disease now-a-days. I'm looking at it like this right at this moment - it is here and as far as I can hear and or see, both Mr. and Mrs. Meniere's Disease have moved in with their Trans-World Moving Van Line truck, et al...
...backed the shit right up side my skull. BAM! There it was! Damnit!
So, it's like this. It has moved in and nothing has worked on this eviction process. He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, His Staff, my Family and I have given our all into this battle named Meniere's Disease...
...but, as my doctor keeps telling me, it's holding hand's time. There will be no eviction of this disease. It's just here for now and from now on.
No! I don't like it! But, what can a person do when what has been done is done. Accept? I don't know! Is this the word I search for? Accept? I don't know, all of this is so far yet so close.
I've decided and have long ago decided I want to Live this Life right on through...
...I want to see what it is Great Spirit, has for me to do.
So, no, no jumping off bridges. I was a passenger in a car driven by my Marine nephew Rae, as we crossed the Sunshine Skyway last week sometime. Ahhhhhhhhh, it was just so damned beautiful - the blue water and the sun and the blue clear Florida Sky. Just No. Nope.
No tall buildings neither! Just No, to the whole leaping/jumping piece because it's like this...
...when it comes to tall buildings my tolerance level is zero. Simple.
No, to guns, rifles or weapons of that and this type. They're just too loud and create such a mess. I mean, like, I do watch C.S.I., ya know? Besides, have just plain plumbed watched too many "R" rated movies! What? It's true.
No, starving myself to death. Been there done that once. Back in the 1980's. No damned fun! I didn't eat and babay, I am a fat kid in a chocolate store when it comes to food. I truly enjoy eating! This too runs deep in the DNA...
...you better ask somebody.
No, I am not a Martyr. Wait...
...I would not let one younger than I, or a loved one shield me from any persons bullet or explosion. I have lived many-a-life, right here in the past fifty-two years. I would permit the bullet to locate me and to take me and it wouldn't matter where the bullet hit. For my Relations, this is the way. It is.
My Relations, today was in fact a good and beautiful Florida sunshiny day to die, but most impotantly, today was a great and wonderful Florida Sunshiny day to be alive. Thank You Great One!
All of this and in other words...
I ain't going No Place unless, the Great Spirit calls me Home.
Oui? Oui!
That's all.
...my immediate response was, Hell no! I don't do the jumps! From like anywhere! Not in the U.S. Army - Not Now! I'm just not the jumping sort. I am that dreadfully affraid of heights. No. No shit! Just plain ole no.
I suppose some time has passed since I last touched base on that aspect of my inner thought processes when it comes to/with this damned Meniere's Disease.
I am thinking I am on a different plain - a different place when it comes to this stinking meniere's disease now-a-days. I'm looking at it like this right at this moment - it is here and as far as I can hear and or see, both Mr. and Mrs. Meniere's Disease have moved in with their Trans-World Moving Van Line truck, et al...
...backed the shit right up side my skull. BAM! There it was! Damnit!
So, it's like this. It has moved in and nothing has worked on this eviction process. He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, His Staff, my Family and I have given our all into this battle named Meniere's Disease...
...but, as my doctor keeps telling me, it's holding hand's time. There will be no eviction of this disease. It's just here for now and from now on.
No! I don't like it! But, what can a person do when what has been done is done. Accept? I don't know! Is this the word I search for? Accept? I don't know, all of this is so far yet so close.
I've decided and have long ago decided I want to Live this Life right on through...
...I want to see what it is Great Spirit, has for me to do.
So, no, no jumping off bridges. I was a passenger in a car driven by my Marine nephew Rae, as we crossed the Sunshine Skyway last week sometime. Ahhhhhhhhh, it was just so damned beautiful - the blue water and the sun and the blue clear Florida Sky. Just No. Nope.
No tall buildings neither! Just No, to the whole leaping/jumping piece because it's like this...
...when it comes to tall buildings my tolerance level is zero. Simple.
No, to guns, rifles or weapons of that and this type. They're just too loud and create such a mess. I mean, like, I do watch C.S.I., ya know? Besides, have just plain plumbed watched too many "R" rated movies! What? It's true.
No, starving myself to death. Been there done that once. Back in the 1980's. No damned fun! I didn't eat and babay, I am a fat kid in a chocolate store when it comes to food. I truly enjoy eating! This too runs deep in the DNA...
...you better ask somebody.
No, I am not a Martyr. Wait...
...I would not let one younger than I, or a loved one shield me from any persons bullet or explosion. I have lived many-a-life, right here in the past fifty-two years. I would permit the bullet to locate me and to take me and it wouldn't matter where the bullet hit. For my Relations, this is the way. It is.
My Relations, today was in fact a good and beautiful Florida sunshiny day to die, but most impotantly, today was a great and wonderful Florida Sunshiny day to be alive. Thank You Great One!
All of this and in other words...
I ain't going No Place unless, the Great Spirit calls me Home.
Oui? Oui!
That's all.
Meniere's, Emotion's and I, 14 Dec 11
Salutaions Relation's...
I sit here to tip-tap a spell. So please, kick off your shoes, maybe sip on a cup of green tea, a vial of ginseng or a cup of coffee. I would love to sit here with you to communicate, share and tell memories for a few minutes.
Our Lodge has gone empty of and very quiet with-out the wonderful and dear visitor's we've had. My Neice's and Nephew have returned from whence they came. Here but for one week and the bonds of love, Kinship and Relations have been connected. Instant Karma happened before my very eye's and my Spirit's, saw what I saw...
...and in a place just not too-too far away, the re-connect between two brothers has been brought forth by the Great Spirit, Path's that Trail-Along-Familiar-Path's. The bonds of brotherhood run deeper, the link's to one and another's heart is sacred, kinship matured by the years of growth that even the years could not chip away. The knowledge that the Relation's have been here all along. All of which solidifies in my Core the beleif and now the knowing, that yes, this that runs deeply in the blood. I am Blessed and am forever thankful and am indebted to the Grace Blessed and taught by My Great Spirit...
...My God.
I have shed many tears since their departure yestreday morning. Have actually cried morning, noon and night, and have again shed tears this morning. Look, I'm okay with this. It just so happened that My Being was affected in such idescribable way's. The love, respect, courtesy and dignity are all Life Long connection's and impressions upon my heart and Spirit's. So I share with you, that these have been tears not of sadness, but of of a profound Gladness.
Every once and again, when the wind chimes a certain way, I hear my Lil' Coco, humming and singing as she goes along her way...
Meniere's was and has been an unkind strain over the past several day's. I don't want to say too much about the meniere's, so then, I will be quick about it.
I have sweating going on right now as I have alot of times. Sweating like now, with it dripping down my chest, trying to cling to my t-shirt. To the perspiration and misting. Yes, there's a difference.
I have had bouts with active nausea. Not today, although I am an adam's apple short of having the feeling in my throat.
The dizziness has been harsh. Has been off and on and so very absorbing. My balance and coordination have at times been so effected, it was necessary for me to sit and catch and or lay and catch myself. Too many trips, too many bumps and just too damned many moments of having to catch the Earth Mother.
I was able to sleep when Our Kinfolk went across the Bay for the filming of the movie Lil' Coco is in. Slept long nights and with their visit, my Kinfolk were able to keep me awake most of day time since the last vertigo attack, which was 02 December 2011.
My Hearing has been from fair to poor. Have had many noises and sounds in my right Hard of Hearing ear. At this very moment, I sit still and am able to listen to what sounds like thousands of crickets and cicadas. As if I had my i-pod ear bud in place. This noise and such, affects the way I listen or do not listen to music or view or do not view the television. I have had dreadful "pops!", that have been frightening. Have had too many moments of total silence - which in fact has affected listening to another speak. The ploop's and plop's continue.
The Left Deaf ear has been back on activity. Very active! I hope my dearest Kinfolk, understand that sometimes I would rather listen to nothing than listen and or view something poorly. I loved the conversations we had! And their patience with me was kind and respectful. I think this is a practice I will make more of here at home...
I have picked up frantic beep's in this, my Left Deaf ear. Have listened to Morris Code's beepity-beep-beep's from what I believe to be a passing satelite that continues to spin around and round our Earth Mother...
...not realizing the Cold War has been over for quite sometime now. Coordinates, I reckon.
And now for something completely different...
It is right good and clear that I may share this with all Relations. I am in a nice seat at this moment. My heart and Spirit's feel love from the All of my Relations. A mighty nice seat to be sitting on too. To All Relations, I say I Love You.
This is all...
I sit here to tip-tap a spell. So please, kick off your shoes, maybe sip on a cup of green tea, a vial of ginseng or a cup of coffee. I would love to sit here with you to communicate, share and tell memories for a few minutes.
Our Lodge has gone empty of and very quiet with-out the wonderful and dear visitor's we've had. My Neice's and Nephew have returned from whence they came. Here but for one week and the bonds of love, Kinship and Relations have been connected. Instant Karma happened before my very eye's and my Spirit's, saw what I saw...
...and in a place just not too-too far away, the re-connect between two brothers has been brought forth by the Great Spirit, Path's that Trail-Along-Familiar-Path's. The bonds of brotherhood run deeper, the link's to one and another's heart is sacred, kinship matured by the years of growth that even the years could not chip away. The knowledge that the Relation's have been here all along. All of which solidifies in my Core the beleif and now the knowing, that yes, this that runs deeply in the blood. I am Blessed and am forever thankful and am indebted to the Grace Blessed and taught by My Great Spirit...
...My God.
I have shed many tears since their departure yestreday morning. Have actually cried morning, noon and night, and have again shed tears this morning. Look, I'm okay with this. It just so happened that My Being was affected in such idescribable way's. The love, respect, courtesy and dignity are all Life Long connection's and impressions upon my heart and Spirit's. So I share with you, that these have been tears not of sadness, but of of a profound Gladness.
Every once and again, when the wind chimes a certain way, I hear my Lil' Coco, humming and singing as she goes along her way...
Meniere's was and has been an unkind strain over the past several day's. I don't want to say too much about the meniere's, so then, I will be quick about it.
I have sweating going on right now as I have alot of times. Sweating like now, with it dripping down my chest, trying to cling to my t-shirt. To the perspiration and misting. Yes, there's a difference.
I have had bouts with active nausea. Not today, although I am an adam's apple short of having the feeling in my throat.
The dizziness has been harsh. Has been off and on and so very absorbing. My balance and coordination have at times been so effected, it was necessary for me to sit and catch and or lay and catch myself. Too many trips, too many bumps and just too damned many moments of having to catch the Earth Mother.
I was able to sleep when Our Kinfolk went across the Bay for the filming of the movie Lil' Coco is in. Slept long nights and with their visit, my Kinfolk were able to keep me awake most of day time since the last vertigo attack, which was 02 December 2011.
My Hearing has been from fair to poor. Have had many noises and sounds in my right Hard of Hearing ear. At this very moment, I sit still and am able to listen to what sounds like thousands of crickets and cicadas. As if I had my i-pod ear bud in place. This noise and such, affects the way I listen or do not listen to music or view or do not view the television. I have had dreadful "pops!", that have been frightening. Have had too many moments of total silence - which in fact has affected listening to another speak. The ploop's and plop's continue.
The Left Deaf ear has been back on activity. Very active! I hope my dearest Kinfolk, understand that sometimes I would rather listen to nothing than listen and or view something poorly. I loved the conversations we had! And their patience with me was kind and respectful. I think this is a practice I will make more of here at home...
I have picked up frantic beep's in this, my Left Deaf ear. Have listened to Morris Code's beepity-beep-beep's from what I believe to be a passing satelite that continues to spin around and round our Earth Mother...
...not realizing the Cold War has been over for quite sometime now. Coordinates, I reckon.
And now for something completely different...
It is right good and clear that I may share this with all Relations. I am in a nice seat at this moment. My heart and Spirit's feel love from the All of my Relations. A mighty nice seat to be sitting on too. To All Relations, I say I Love You.
This is all...
Friday, December 9, 2011
Meinere's, Memories, 09 Dec.11
Here I sit tip-tapping while having a sense of homesickness. Maybe it's more like a nostalgia for the way things were way back then in 1978 and 1979...
...being around a Marine Sgt., for a few days with his movie star daughter and his beautiful wife, who is the daughter of my life long very best good friend, Jimmy, has flooded the memory bank. We served with each other in the U.S. Army. Speaking with Jimmy and listening to the stories he shared with his family brings back so many feelings and thoughts and memories. Wonderful memories. Them from back then and when I was young and full of that stuff. Invincible, I would have sworn. The things I/We would do while stationed in Germany. The travels we had, the risks we took, the friendships we established, are all very much still alive and well. I am Blessed by God, to have this Family from Guam, be a part of my Family.
I am aware Great Spirit, Blessed me with the memorey many do not have. Which is a gift that comes from Heavan. How Grateful, I am.
I am also thankful for this visit in many more ways that I can descibe. What a fantastic reunion and what therapy this has been for me.
Excellent therapy too..
...their visit has helped me limit the amount of sleep post vertical attack. Yes, I have slept, but no way near the amount I usually sleep after such an attack. Having family around during the day has kept my mind occupied and not focused on what is or isn't going on in the skull...
My neice's and nephew took me out and about on Wednesday, 7 Dec., and drove us on a tour of our tri-county area - getting me out of my medically imposed exhile. Even if it was but for a few hours on a beautiful Sun Shiny Florida day was simply a brilliant short mini-holiday. All I had to do was sit back and enjoy this tour and ride about. Oh yes, play navigator and tour guide. Every once in a while, I would say on your right is this or that and or the on your left is where that and this is. What fun I had. Sarge, has what a refered to as The Bat Car. I don't think I have ever been in a car that rides like that one. Fast? Please. Felt like we were hoovering along the surface of Earth Mother, it felt so strong and sure under our seats.
The Meniere's has always been preseant. Constantly me where it resides...
I have been dizzy more off than on. More on than off, I do declare. The balance and coordination has been way off and have had too many stumbles, trips, and bumps-in-to situations. No fall's, Thank God. But, the human bumper car has been alive and bumping about for sure.
The nausea has been tagging along with the dizziness and has been always present. I have had one active episode with the naussea, brought to a vomit on Tuesday. At this moment, the nausea feels as if it is just below the adams apple.
The sweats have been more on that off, and if it wasn't sweats it was the perspiration. At the moment I am unable to report how many shirts I have gone through this week. Will learn this number later when the laundry has been done later this afternoon...not that it is that important. Just wondering.
The Deaf Left Ear is sending out or receiving The Emergency Broadcasting Systems Alert. It sounds like this, Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
And on and on for what has been the past forty minutes now. It seems to be making my dizziness worse. Please let this pass soon. Please let this soon pass...
...my right ear has what sounds like just a few crickets in my skull. I am pleased and am happy to have but a few making their music. This is much different than when I have a swamp full. Way different.
I feel as if I'm about to vomit. So I'll excuse myself for a few minutes.
Alright, a bit better. No vomit.
Relations, I'll bring this message to a close by saying this...
...Love One and Another, as if you bleed the same blood. It is in the Blood, that Life Long Friendship's are born, nourished, and grow taller than the Red Woods out in the West.
Love, peace and more peace, Mario
...being around a Marine Sgt., for a few days with his movie star daughter and his beautiful wife, who is the daughter of my life long very best good friend, Jimmy, has flooded the memory bank. We served with each other in the U.S. Army. Speaking with Jimmy and listening to the stories he shared with his family brings back so many feelings and thoughts and memories. Wonderful memories. Them from back then and when I was young and full of that stuff. Invincible, I would have sworn. The things I/We would do while stationed in Germany. The travels we had, the risks we took, the friendships we established, are all very much still alive and well. I am Blessed by God, to have this Family from Guam, be a part of my Family.
I am aware Great Spirit, Blessed me with the memorey many do not have. Which is a gift that comes from Heavan. How Grateful, I am.
I am also thankful for this visit in many more ways that I can descibe. What a fantastic reunion and what therapy this has been for me.
Excellent therapy too..
...their visit has helped me limit the amount of sleep post vertical attack. Yes, I have slept, but no way near the amount I usually sleep after such an attack. Having family around during the day has kept my mind occupied and not focused on what is or isn't going on in the skull...
My neice's and nephew took me out and about on Wednesday, 7 Dec., and drove us on a tour of our tri-county area - getting me out of my medically imposed exhile. Even if it was but for a few hours on a beautiful Sun Shiny Florida day was simply a brilliant short mini-holiday. All I had to do was sit back and enjoy this tour and ride about. Oh yes, play navigator and tour guide. Every once in a while, I would say on your right is this or that and or the on your left is where that and this is. What fun I had. Sarge, has what a refered to as The Bat Car. I don't think I have ever been in a car that rides like that one. Fast? Please. Felt like we were hoovering along the surface of Earth Mother, it felt so strong and sure under our seats.
The Meniere's has always been preseant. Constantly me where it resides...
I have been dizzy more off than on. More on than off, I do declare. The balance and coordination has been way off and have had too many stumbles, trips, and bumps-in-to situations. No fall's, Thank God. But, the human bumper car has been alive and bumping about for sure.
The nausea has been tagging along with the dizziness and has been always present. I have had one active episode with the naussea, brought to a vomit on Tuesday. At this moment, the nausea feels as if it is just below the adams apple.
The sweats have been more on that off, and if it wasn't sweats it was the perspiration. At the moment I am unable to report how many shirts I have gone through this week. Will learn this number later when the laundry has been done later this afternoon...not that it is that important. Just wondering.
The Deaf Left Ear is sending out or receiving The Emergency Broadcasting Systems Alert. It sounds like this, Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
And on and on for what has been the past forty minutes now. It seems to be making my dizziness worse. Please let this pass soon. Please let this soon pass...
...my right ear has what sounds like just a few crickets in my skull. I am pleased and am happy to have but a few making their music. This is much different than when I have a swamp full. Way different.
I feel as if I'm about to vomit. So I'll excuse myself for a few minutes.
Alright, a bit better. No vomit.
Relations, I'll bring this message to a close by saying this...
...Love One and Another, as if you bleed the same blood. It is in the Blood, that Life Long Friendship's are born, nourished, and grow taller than the Red Woods out in the West.
Love, peace and more peace, Mario
Monday, December 5, 2011
Meniere's Disease, 05 Dec. 2011
Our Three Kindred Kinfolk, are on their way to the filming location. It's a wardrobe thing, I'm thinking.
I feel the excitement in the Heart and Spirit's of all heading towards some wonderful experiances in life...
...and look, Lil' Miss. Coco, has me creating a sea shell bracelet for her. Little tiny neice has me wrapped around that teenie tiny little finger. Jimmy, you are Blessed by God, my brother.
This beautiful Angel, is wise beyong her years. From with-in, that is. Cherub like in appearance and energies, she is clearly here to meet Folk. This hic-up in generation reunion is Blessed by Great Spirit...
...this visit, their stay in the sanctuary and the respect, love and intrigity is warmhearted and appreciative. Their's an aire of compassion, and I am thankful. Thankful for these Blessings, Great One, Blessings.
NOTE: Menerie's Disease Related
I am nauseated at a "up to my throat level", but have not thrown up today. The dizziness is a dizzy above a tipsy, the dizzy that brings all the clumsy. I have had the trips and bumps, lack of coordination and off on balance a chunck, but no falls. Thank You Great One. Have had the sweats and perspiration off and on throughout the day. As in now...
...when dizzy goes up, nausea increases, as sweat, perspiration and or misty.
Heading off for a nap after I say farewll.
My Deaf Left Ear is Daef at this moment! Yes! Yes! Yes! Deaf!
My Right Hard of Hearing ear is having a fairly satifactory day. I have been able to speak with my Kindred with very little trouble. Have been listening to the Everglades most of today too. Yes, these bloody creatures in my right ear is torture. No other way to express it. Sorry.
Time for nap. Farewell....
I feel the excitement in the Heart and Spirit's of all heading towards some wonderful experiances in life...
...and look, Lil' Miss. Coco, has me creating a sea shell bracelet for her. Little tiny neice has me wrapped around that teenie tiny little finger. Jimmy, you are Blessed by God, my brother.
This beautiful Angel, is wise beyong her years. From with-in, that is. Cherub like in appearance and energies, she is clearly here to meet Folk. This hic-up in generation reunion is Blessed by Great Spirit...
...this visit, their stay in the sanctuary and the respect, love and intrigity is warmhearted and appreciative. Their's an aire of compassion, and I am thankful. Thankful for these Blessings, Great One, Blessings.
NOTE: Menerie's Disease Related
I am nauseated at a "up to my throat level", but have not thrown up today. The dizziness is a dizzy above a tipsy, the dizzy that brings all the clumsy. I have had the trips and bumps, lack of coordination and off on balance a chunck, but no falls. Thank You Great One. Have had the sweats and perspiration off and on throughout the day. As in now...
...when dizzy goes up, nausea increases, as sweat, perspiration and or misty.
Heading off for a nap after I say farewll.
My Deaf Left Ear is Daef at this moment! Yes! Yes! Yes! Deaf!
My Right Hard of Hearing ear is having a fairly satifactory day. I have been able to speak with my Kindred with very little trouble. Have been listening to the Everglades most of today too. Yes, these bloody creatures in my right ear is torture. No other way to express it. Sorry.
Time for nap. Farewell....
A Skip Of A Generation Reunion
We will be having a reunion here in the lodge today...
...Tabby, Rae, and Coco will be resting and staying here at our Santuary for a spell. While Coco, does some filming over in Saint Petersburg, Florida where a major motion picture is being filmed. I don't feel comfortable saying the names of the artist involved yet. (One is Matt Dillon and the other major star is Naomi Watts amoungst others). I'll share their names as soon as I get Tabby's okay. Okay? I know Coco will be smack dab in the middle of all this! I'm so excited in my heart for her and the entire family! I'm like doing a happy dance in my heart!
Sometime later this Winter, Coco will be in a Tyler Perry television show too.
I see big things coming for Coco, Mom and Dad. Mommy has her idea of what is going on and what the future looks like in her eye orb's. Tabby's a Wise WOman...
...she took alot after her Dad, my Very Best Good Friend For Life, Jimmy G.
Back-back-back in the day, 1978-1979, while stationed in Germany, in this U.S. Army, we would have taken a bullet for each other...
...I recollect once apon a time, Jimmy. Joe, Jerome, myself and maybe a couple of other fellows from base had the polizie, screech tires, jump out and pull machine guns and side arms on the ready - straight in our direction. We were just walking back to the barracks after a beer up at the pub and were "mistaken" for another group of "Americans". Yes, this truly happened. Yes, it scared the dung out of me and probably the all of us, but once these right kind police officers let us be - we laughed up a good storm. I may have actually peed my pants just a bit.
Anyway's, Jimmy and I have known each other since then. A wee bit over thirty some years. You know how life is, a few letters here and there. The business have having children, we've worked hard for our money...
...the yearly Merry Christmas card. But, since '78-'79, my eye's have not seen Jimmy's. My ear has not heard his voice except by telephone...
...I have not taken his hand with mine and gave it a good damn shake, nor have I had a chance to give my Brother a Bear Hug. I want to squeeze a fart out of this person who bleeds my Blood, Jimmy G.
God has Blessed, us with a Family Reunion, with a Skip in Generation. It is somewhat like a hic-cup in our lives...
...and that's mighty fine by me. I know I'll get to see Mr. G, sometime real soon. In the mean time Tabby, Rae, and Coco will stay a spell here at Tio Mario's.
I Love it!
I will make it through this week with-out issue. I plan on returning to bed as soon as possible for sleep. I am exhauted. Our guests will be very busy and all times of day and night. I will simply sleep while they're on location and see them when their awake after sleeping through their change of routine...
...I wouldn't let this latest Meniere's attack affect this reunion.
PERIOD.
Oh my, I am so Blessed. Thank you, Great Spirit!
...Tabby, Rae, and Coco will be resting and staying here at our Santuary for a spell. While Coco, does some filming over in Saint Petersburg, Florida where a major motion picture is being filmed. I don't feel comfortable saying the names of the artist involved yet. (One is Matt Dillon and the other major star is Naomi Watts amoungst others). I'll share their names as soon as I get Tabby's okay. Okay? I know Coco will be smack dab in the middle of all this! I'm so excited in my heart for her and the entire family! I'm like doing a happy dance in my heart!
Sometime later this Winter, Coco will be in a Tyler Perry television show too.
I see big things coming for Coco, Mom and Dad. Mommy has her idea of what is going on and what the future looks like in her eye orb's. Tabby's a Wise WOman...
...she took alot after her Dad, my Very Best Good Friend For Life, Jimmy G.
Back-back-back in the day, 1978-1979, while stationed in Germany, in this U.S. Army, we would have taken a bullet for each other...
...I recollect once apon a time, Jimmy. Joe, Jerome, myself and maybe a couple of other fellows from base had the polizie, screech tires, jump out and pull machine guns and side arms on the ready - straight in our direction. We were just walking back to the barracks after a beer up at the pub and were "mistaken" for another group of "Americans". Yes, this truly happened. Yes, it scared the dung out of me and probably the all of us, but once these right kind police officers let us be - we laughed up a good storm. I may have actually peed my pants just a bit.
Anyway's, Jimmy and I have known each other since then. A wee bit over thirty some years. You know how life is, a few letters here and there. The business have having children, we've worked hard for our money...
...the yearly Merry Christmas card. But, since '78-'79, my eye's have not seen Jimmy's. My ear has not heard his voice except by telephone...
...I have not taken his hand with mine and gave it a good damn shake, nor have I had a chance to give my Brother a Bear Hug. I want to squeeze a fart out of this person who bleeds my Blood, Jimmy G.
God has Blessed, us with a Family Reunion, with a Skip in Generation. It is somewhat like a hic-cup in our lives...
...and that's mighty fine by me. I know I'll get to see Mr. G, sometime real soon. In the mean time Tabby, Rae, and Coco will stay a spell here at Tio Mario's.
I Love it!
I will make it through this week with-out issue. I plan on returning to bed as soon as possible for sleep. I am exhauted. Our guests will be very busy and all times of day and night. I will simply sleep while they're on location and see them when their awake after sleeping through their change of routine...
...I wouldn't let this latest Meniere's attack affect this reunion.
PERIOD.
Oh my, I am so Blessed. Thank you, Great Spirit!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Meniere's Disease, Ambushed In The Night
While in bed early Friday the evening of 02 December 11, I nearly vomitted while reading. I coughed up and swallowed what had come up to the back of my mouth. It's not the first I had vomit come up into my mouth. No more was brought up and I did not throw up. So I closed my book and was quickly off to Dream World. As the world spun and turned and twirled about me...
...no hint - no warming. This was an out-right Meniere's attack at night.
Did not wake up until last night, Saturday, the 03 Dec., at approxitmately 1930. I was up for just about two hours - enough time for a sandwich and soup, and spend a few minutes with Brenda. I then went back to bed, tried to read a page or two about Sitting Bull, Quanna Parker and Red Cloud, but was quickly back to sleep.
I woke this morning at 1145. Today is Sunday, the 04 December 2011. I think I would need a calculator to figue out how many hours this sleep has been, but maybe I'll caluculate some other time, as it doesn't mean much to me right now. What does matter is that I am totally exhausted, am with extreme nausea and am in pain and ache from my neck to the soles of my feet.
The worms are acting up something dreadfull.
I am dizzy, nauseated and have not stopped sweating and perspiring since I got up from bed. My balance and coordination is unsatisfactory. At risk.
The Left Deaf ear is listening to the sound of an approching locomotive. No horns, just the sound of a train on it's tracks in fast motion.
My right ear is having a poor hearing day. It also has twenty acres of locusts and crikets seemingly at dusk, making all kinds of loud sounds of nature. The plooping and ploping has been frequent.
I have a stutter in my speach. Nothing new, just something I have not brought up in my letters to my Relations.
I must go...
...my brains inform me that I'll be back to slumber directly. Peace.
...no hint - no warming. This was an out-right Meniere's attack at night.
Did not wake up until last night, Saturday, the 03 Dec., at approxitmately 1930. I was up for just about two hours - enough time for a sandwich and soup, and spend a few minutes with Brenda. I then went back to bed, tried to read a page or two about Sitting Bull, Quanna Parker and Red Cloud, but was quickly back to sleep.
I woke this morning at 1145. Today is Sunday, the 04 December 2011. I think I would need a calculator to figue out how many hours this sleep has been, but maybe I'll caluculate some other time, as it doesn't mean much to me right now. What does matter is that I am totally exhausted, am with extreme nausea and am in pain and ache from my neck to the soles of my feet.
The worms are acting up something dreadfull.
I am dizzy, nauseated and have not stopped sweating and perspiring since I got up from bed. My balance and coordination is unsatisfactory. At risk.
The Left Deaf ear is listening to the sound of an approching locomotive. No horns, just the sound of a train on it's tracks in fast motion.
My right ear is having a poor hearing day. It also has twenty acres of locusts and crikets seemingly at dusk, making all kinds of loud sounds of nature. The plooping and ploping has been frequent.
I have a stutter in my speach. Nothing new, just something I have not brought up in my letters to my Relations.
I must go...
...my brains inform me that I'll be back to slumber directly. Peace.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Is This Poison To Sip........
.......or is it the poison to swallow. Just and such as it has been forced upon me time and time again? Since boyhood...
...as if through out my day's here walking my Path, sometimes not even knowing what type of Path I was to truly trieing to beleive in. One that I wanted to follow...or live as it was my life moving ahead on...
...and yet, on and on it goes in my skull. The force fed and made to swallow abuses! Whether it be Sexual, Verbal, Pyhsical, Emotionial...
...by the "whom ever's". Yesterday, Yesteryear, it does not matter.
Today's the life...My Life!
Until I had been through the shit and the anti-matter that became bits, pieces and parts to tote along with the luggage...
...and, no honey, it ain't Prada. And what? Y que? As if I would? I have carried this humongous load of fukkk'en anti-matter on my shoulders since I was a child.
And Survived it. So I thought it.
With the all that has been the past few years and then the recent weeks, with the all that was and has been, it appears and seems to me we may have had some turbulance.
You know, it's Human Nature, to rebound. To fight physical ills and to beleive and live and hope...
...some fellow Survivor's of sexual Abuse, Incest and Rape, will take alternative routes to make it through their life long fkkk that comes from growing up getting fkkked and NO ONE "heard" the silent screams behind the face of this Sierra kid or she, in the other grade, my sister. I perhaps, then come to the conclusion that it I/We did not matter...
...no one noticed or reported the deep brusies - no one reported the crying...
...nor was the screaming listened to as I would rush to hush my breath to keep it from escaping my very vocal, vocal cords. These vocal cords, know how I would...
...scream out loud today! That there were just so many to teach me how to swallow the poison...
...and not sip it, like a gentleman would. Blow's my mind.
One swallow's from the flask...
...as one would sip from a flute. The Gentleman would say.
...as if through out my day's here walking my Path, sometimes not even knowing what type of Path I was to truly trieing to beleive in. One that I wanted to follow...or live as it was my life moving ahead on...
...and yet, on and on it goes in my skull. The force fed and made to swallow abuses! Whether it be Sexual, Verbal, Pyhsical, Emotionial...
...by the "whom ever's". Yesterday, Yesteryear, it does not matter.
Today's the life...My Life!
Until I had been through the shit and the anti-matter that became bits, pieces and parts to tote along with the luggage...
...and, no honey, it ain't Prada. And what? Y que? As if I would? I have carried this humongous load of fukkk'en anti-matter on my shoulders since I was a child.
And Survived it. So I thought it.
With the all that has been the past few years and then the recent weeks, with the all that was and has been, it appears and seems to me we may have had some turbulance.
You know, it's Human Nature, to rebound. To fight physical ills and to beleive and live and hope...
...some fellow Survivor's of sexual Abuse, Incest and Rape, will take alternative routes to make it through their life long fkkk that comes from growing up getting fkkked and NO ONE "heard" the silent screams behind the face of this Sierra kid or she, in the other grade, my sister. I perhaps, then come to the conclusion that it I/We did not matter...
...no one noticed or reported the deep brusies - no one reported the crying...
...nor was the screaming listened to as I would rush to hush my breath to keep it from escaping my very vocal, vocal cords. These vocal cords, know how I would...
...scream out loud today! That there were just so many to teach me how to swallow the poison...
...and not sip it, like a gentleman would. Blow's my mind.
One swallow's from the flask...
...as one would sip from a flute. The Gentleman would say.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Wednesday's A Good Day, 01 Dec. 2011, Happy New Month!
I am hoping that I have broken up the sleep queue...
...even if I did wake past eleven:30 this morning and had gone to bed early last night. I do suspect to some degree the sleep queue, place's me into a form of self-induced psychosis's every once in a bit. I mean, it's easy to tell from where I sit. How my entire being is affected and effected by the sleep queue is beyond words. I can't even imagine what it must be like for my dear wife, my two beautiful daughters, my neighbours, my kinfolk and Kindred. Lord have Mercy. I want to apologize, but don't really feel right by saying that or doing it. Not right now, anyway's. Because I haven't done anybody no harm, en'it true? Alright then.......
The sleep queue has been a huge piece of my day-to-day since my last vertigo/meniere's attack. It's here every fucking day, ya know? Like a bummer room mate...SWF, SWSM, SLM, which translates into Single Lesbian Male. Which I am. Been a Lesbian most of my life I reckon. Let me ask my wife, she'll know.
...anyway's, it seems as if I really simply seem to slip right on into another realm when I am in my Dream World. I don't mind much. I mean, I am in a restful state and a safe place. True? Huh? Okaiiiii?
My dizziness is a mild tipsy dizzy. Without the expence of beer or the fire water or moon shine. Betcha my cousin, James could fetch me a good bottle of that. You thank so James?
Yes, but back to the subject. Yes, am dizzy a bit.
Feel nausea to my mid-chest. Which means I feel it to my man boobs. Which for me is a good thing. Which helps make today a good day.
I have perspired and sweated off and on today. Have a mist about my forehead and neck. This is one of the reasons I wear bandana's! No, the color's don't represent shit, no I'm not in a fucking gang, and no I am not a cowboy...
...I shoulda been a cowboy, but i'm not. I love Cowboy's! And i hate to see them cry when they lose at rodeo. Man up! For Pete's Sake! You're a Cowboy!! Alright?
My Deaf Left Ear has been ticking today. No. Don't ask! Just fukkken tick-tick-ticking. Like an old fashioned clock or a ticking time bomb or a tick-tick of my watch...
...but ticking? Girl, please. This shit is just getting too stupied! No wonder I speak of psychosis, et al.
My right ear is having a pretty good day. I mean, there's no body for me to speak with at this moment, but when I speak to the dog's and I, I seem to hear fairly well. Have also had the sounds and noise of a far off Swamp Boat, or two. I can't tell yet. But you know, the one's you've seen on television or when thinking of the Everglades or swamp.
It is with great hopes and expectations that I should overcome this sleep queue. I will give this a good fight today...
...after all, today's Wednesday, a good day.
...even if I did wake past eleven:30 this morning and had gone to bed early last night. I do suspect to some degree the sleep queue, place's me into a form of self-induced psychosis's every once in a bit. I mean, it's easy to tell from where I sit. How my entire being is affected and effected by the sleep queue is beyond words. I can't even imagine what it must be like for my dear wife, my two beautiful daughters, my neighbours, my kinfolk and Kindred. Lord have Mercy. I want to apologize, but don't really feel right by saying that or doing it. Not right now, anyway's. Because I haven't done anybody no harm, en'it true? Alright then.......
The sleep queue has been a huge piece of my day-to-day since my last vertigo/meniere's attack. It's here every fucking day, ya know? Like a bummer room mate...SWF, SWSM, SLM, which translates into Single Lesbian Male. Which I am. Been a Lesbian most of my life I reckon. Let me ask my wife, she'll know.
...anyway's, it seems as if I really simply seem to slip right on into another realm when I am in my Dream World. I don't mind much. I mean, I am in a restful state and a safe place. True? Huh? Okaiiiii?
My dizziness is a mild tipsy dizzy. Without the expence of beer or the fire water or moon shine. Betcha my cousin, James could fetch me a good bottle of that. You thank so James?
Yes, but back to the subject. Yes, am dizzy a bit.
Feel nausea to my mid-chest. Which means I feel it to my man boobs. Which for me is a good thing. Which helps make today a good day.
I have perspired and sweated off and on today. Have a mist about my forehead and neck. This is one of the reasons I wear bandana's! No, the color's don't represent shit, no I'm not in a fucking gang, and no I am not a cowboy...
...I shoulda been a cowboy, but i'm not. I love Cowboy's! And i hate to see them cry when they lose at rodeo. Man up! For Pete's Sake! You're a Cowboy!! Alright?
My Deaf Left Ear has been ticking today. No. Don't ask! Just fukkken tick-tick-ticking. Like an old fashioned clock or a ticking time bomb or a tick-tick of my watch...
...but ticking? Girl, please. This shit is just getting too stupied! No wonder I speak of psychosis, et al.
My right ear is having a pretty good day. I mean, there's no body for me to speak with at this moment, but when I speak to the dog's and I, I seem to hear fairly well. Have also had the sounds and noise of a far off Swamp Boat, or two. I can't tell yet. But you know, the one's you've seen on television or when thinking of the Everglades or swamp.
It is with great hopes and expectations that I should overcome this sleep queue. I will give this a good fight today...
...after all, today's Wednesday, a good day.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
My Dear Friend, Sweet Nancy
Dearest Relations,
I have a young friend by the name of Nancy, I wish to introduce you to her. I have known Nancy since the 1990's. We worked, danced, and joked about together at the store in the big blue box. We worked our ass off there, but we had some fun too! Along with a wonderful group of Kindred Folk's who worked with each other, Nancy and I, there in the big blue box...
...working relationships became friendships, freindships create Kinfolk, sometimes to points beyond - as in really becoming Kinfolk by marriage. Which is like so cool in my romantic way of looking with life sometimes.
I am Blessed and am proud to know my sweet friend Nancy. I have always loved Nancy and felt she as a daughta-from-anotha-motha sort of way. Although, and please let it be known, I know Nancy's Mommy and there is no disrespect intended. It's as if I viewed Nancy as my daughter first, then the on the job, Nancy. Dig? Some way, this was the way it was intended.
I want to share that my dear friend Nancy, is fighting a cancer. I am seeing this dreadful fucking disease eat away at one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. My energies pick up her's as I have never seen Nancy without a smile. Her strength is Grace. Not only on the outside is Nancy beautiful, but beautiful where it matters most, she is beautiful inside too. This is such a difficult thing for me to speak or talk about. It's almost as if I am ignorant and know not what to say.
We were reunited one year or more ago, Nancy and I, and so many other's that the warmth from my Center soothes my chest and this energy let's me know that Nancy is surrounded with love and the energy that is love with strength...
...in some sort of cosmic way, we were all never really that far away or apart. Our friendships and kinships have all remained strong, sure and loved. I mean, this was the way life went when we were sent by Great Spirit to do what we had to. To make it in this fast-paced-hurry-the-fuck-up-life...
...and then to Witness this Blessed Circle be Reunited, is beyond my wildest dreams and may only be considered by me, an Act of the Great Spirit.
I am humbled. My love for Nancy and our Kindred has grown warmer and closer over the years. It has driven me practically mad to know that Nancy and I have lived in the same community for years and never once had we crossed paths until crossed paths at our Walgreens Pharmacy...
...I was freshly dischagred from hospital that evening and was still very much under the influence of them "special hospital medications" and was goofy I know because I was messing with my daughter. Honest to God, and you can ask her, when my eye's met her's - it made my eye orbs feel funny and I think I was overwhelmed with joy and happiness and then later that night, an immense sorrow...
...I was looking at Nancy through the eye's of a father reunited with a daughter. Nancy, know how much love, respect and dignity I have for you. You know, I must say out of respect, to mention Mama, your Mommy. I see where you "caught" your beauty and also I am witness to Two Warrior WOmen.
Keep on this This Fight!
Since then, I have thought of my dear friend Nancy every day of life. She came to visit me while I was in hospital for pete's sake! Her Mom and Dione too!
Nancy, I want you to know with confidence that I love you. My Spirit's love you and respect your Spirit's. I have had ceremony's for you and have prayed for you. Have banged the drums loudly for you...
...as I will contine to do. Remember that I will donate blood for you at the dial of a telephone. I have donated phalets (spell check,?) in the past and am prepared to do so for you...
...WAIT! Imagine this, I provide this mixed breed type O blood for you, then we would really be same Blooded. Oh, but wait, sweet Nancy, I have felt all along we bleed the same blood. Already.
Nancy, sweet Nancy, thank you for being a friend.
"Holla!"
Love ya, Mario
I have a young friend by the name of Nancy, I wish to introduce you to her. I have known Nancy since the 1990's. We worked, danced, and joked about together at the store in the big blue box. We worked our ass off there, but we had some fun too! Along with a wonderful group of Kindred Folk's who worked with each other, Nancy and I, there in the big blue box...
...working relationships became friendships, freindships create Kinfolk, sometimes to points beyond - as in really becoming Kinfolk by marriage. Which is like so cool in my romantic way of looking with life sometimes.
I am Blessed and am proud to know my sweet friend Nancy. I have always loved Nancy and felt she as a daughta-from-anotha-motha sort of way. Although, and please let it be known, I know Nancy's Mommy and there is no disrespect intended. It's as if I viewed Nancy as my daughter first, then the on the job, Nancy. Dig? Some way, this was the way it was intended.
I want to share that my dear friend Nancy, is fighting a cancer. I am seeing this dreadful fucking disease eat away at one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. My energies pick up her's as I have never seen Nancy without a smile. Her strength is Grace. Not only on the outside is Nancy beautiful, but beautiful where it matters most, she is beautiful inside too. This is such a difficult thing for me to speak or talk about. It's almost as if I am ignorant and know not what to say.
We were reunited one year or more ago, Nancy and I, and so many other's that the warmth from my Center soothes my chest and this energy let's me know that Nancy is surrounded with love and the energy that is love with strength...
...in some sort of cosmic way, we were all never really that far away or apart. Our friendships and kinships have all remained strong, sure and loved. I mean, this was the way life went when we were sent by Great Spirit to do what we had to. To make it in this fast-paced-hurry-the-fuck-up-life...
...and then to Witness this Blessed Circle be Reunited, is beyond my wildest dreams and may only be considered by me, an Act of the Great Spirit.
I am humbled. My love for Nancy and our Kindred has grown warmer and closer over the years. It has driven me practically mad to know that Nancy and I have lived in the same community for years and never once had we crossed paths until crossed paths at our Walgreens Pharmacy...
...I was freshly dischagred from hospital that evening and was still very much under the influence of them "special hospital medications" and was goofy I know because I was messing with my daughter. Honest to God, and you can ask her, when my eye's met her's - it made my eye orbs feel funny and I think I was overwhelmed with joy and happiness and then later that night, an immense sorrow...
...I was looking at Nancy through the eye's of a father reunited with a daughter. Nancy, know how much love, respect and dignity I have for you. You know, I must say out of respect, to mention Mama, your Mommy. I see where you "caught" your beauty and also I am witness to Two Warrior WOmen.
Keep on this This Fight!
Since then, I have thought of my dear friend Nancy every day of life. She came to visit me while I was in hospital for pete's sake! Her Mom and Dione too!
Nancy, I want you to know with confidence that I love you. My Spirit's love you and respect your Spirit's. I have had ceremony's for you and have prayed for you. Have banged the drums loudly for you...
...as I will contine to do. Remember that I will donate blood for you at the dial of a telephone. I have donated phalets (spell check,?) in the past and am prepared to do so for you...
...WAIT! Imagine this, I provide this mixed breed type O blood for you, then we would really be same Blooded. Oh, but wait, sweet Nancy, I have felt all along we bleed the same blood. Already.
Nancy, sweet Nancy, thank you for being a friend.
"Holla!"
Love ya, Mario
Meniere's & I, The Past 48 Hours
With in the past forty-eight hours I have slept mighty close to thirty six of those hours. Unfortunately, I am still with-in the grasps of the sleep queue and although I may feel and think top notch at this moment, I will be back in bed directly. Something in the back of my skull tells me so.
I have an urgency to share with you the sounds that I have been listening to and one of which in particular is quite stunning. The stunning sounds occured yesterday afternoon shortly after I awoke from a sleep. I was with the belief that I was hearing and listening to either the pulse of Earth Mother or the beat of a Pow Wow drum. A steady and forthright beat. Very distinguishable versus all other sounds I have had over the last few years. Of which I do not minimize in the least, but there was something sure and very real going on in my Deaf Left ear yesterday. I recently made comment of contemplating on the sounds, well this is exactly what I did. I listened intensely and contemplated on the sounds of Earth Mother's Pulse or the Pow Wow drum. I laid in bed for what seemed to be three quarter of an hour and listened...
...until the sound gave way to a different and familiar sound. The ole faithful beep's. Oh, please. I wonder, if it wasn't for these beeps, my Left Deaf Ear would be truly a Deaf Left Ear. Seemingly originating from a distant satellite as it travels through the outer reaches of our atmosphere. It does not go beep-beep-beep, but rather like this, beeeep... beeeeeeeeeeeeeep.....beep........beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep....beeeeeeeeep.
The "........." indicates moments of silence.
Of the two sounds, I prefer the beats of Mother Earth's Heart Beat or the beat of the Pow Wow drum. It was a steady beat, sure and most of all familiar to my mind and Spirit's.
My right Hard of Hearing ear is hard of hearing today. Earlier, there was the sounds of cicadas. As off in some distant forests, one makes a long note, then another takes a longer note and then many others join in at same time. I would swear there are hundreds tucked away deep in the crevices of my right ear and brain. I tell you what, them sumbitche's, make this seem like a torture to me.
Other symptoms I would like to share is first of all, is this omni-present nausea and it's ways of disrespect to me, the one with the Meniere's Disease. This nausea today and at this moment reaches just above my adams apple. Burping nor medication have been any aid. There isn't anything for me to bring up today besides water and medication and as bad as I want to hurl, I think it would only piss me off because I would consider it a waste of money. I am so positive that the medications in my stomach at this moment and at their prices would have bought me a mighty fine lunch. Or hell, the money could have gone towards Christmas shopping.
I am sweating and perspiring to the point of perspiration and sweat building up around my neck and stomach. As if I just came in from a brisk walk about. Right. I feel as if I am wearing a cap of perspiration which sometimes feels like a net of the cafe` sort. All of which is taking place in this lodge which is at 70 degrees. All windows are wide open and I am enjoying the change in weather. My skin and Spirit's would enjoy it more if it wasn't for so much being stirred up in my brains and stomach.
The dizziness I am experiancing is the sort that feels at eye level and is a rotating dizzy. Like a slow drive round and around a Turn About. Frustrating is the only word I can think of at the moment. Just damned frustrating. Today, I use both my quad cane and the walls to get from here to there. As much as I would enjoy being out of doors, I know that I am at high risk for a fall today AND even though I would rather fall onto my lawn, my rather large ass will remain indoors today...
...am learning to listen, you see? Or should I ask, you hear? No, you read?
Word. Yes. Oui. Si. Mmmmkay?
p.s. I don't want any damned falls. Have you ever had a dream where you felt as if you were falling? If any yes's - then that's the feeling inside the gut when I fall. There have been too times when a fall just up's and happens and hell yes, there have been a couple of times I have screamed.
So what? Falling's a Bitch. Alright then...
Love to all Relations! Love, peace and more peace.
I have an urgency to share with you the sounds that I have been listening to and one of which in particular is quite stunning. The stunning sounds occured yesterday afternoon shortly after I awoke from a sleep. I was with the belief that I was hearing and listening to either the pulse of Earth Mother or the beat of a Pow Wow drum. A steady and forthright beat. Very distinguishable versus all other sounds I have had over the last few years. Of which I do not minimize in the least, but there was something sure and very real going on in my Deaf Left ear yesterday. I recently made comment of contemplating on the sounds, well this is exactly what I did. I listened intensely and contemplated on the sounds of Earth Mother's Pulse or the Pow Wow drum. I laid in bed for what seemed to be three quarter of an hour and listened...
...until the sound gave way to a different and familiar sound. The ole faithful beep's. Oh, please. I wonder, if it wasn't for these beeps, my Left Deaf Ear would be truly a Deaf Left Ear. Seemingly originating from a distant satellite as it travels through the outer reaches of our atmosphere. It does not go beep-beep-beep, but rather like this, beeeep... beeeeeeeeeeeeeep.....beep........beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep....beeeeeeeeep.
The "........." indicates moments of silence.
Of the two sounds, I prefer the beats of Mother Earth's Heart Beat or the beat of the Pow Wow drum. It was a steady beat, sure and most of all familiar to my mind and Spirit's.
My right Hard of Hearing ear is hard of hearing today. Earlier, there was the sounds of cicadas. As off in some distant forests, one makes a long note, then another takes a longer note and then many others join in at same time. I would swear there are hundreds tucked away deep in the crevices of my right ear and brain. I tell you what, them sumbitche's, make this seem like a torture to me.
Other symptoms I would like to share is first of all, is this omni-present nausea and it's ways of disrespect to me, the one with the Meniere's Disease. This nausea today and at this moment reaches just above my adams apple. Burping nor medication have been any aid. There isn't anything for me to bring up today besides water and medication and as bad as I want to hurl, I think it would only piss me off because I would consider it a waste of money. I am so positive that the medications in my stomach at this moment and at their prices would have bought me a mighty fine lunch. Or hell, the money could have gone towards Christmas shopping.
I am sweating and perspiring to the point of perspiration and sweat building up around my neck and stomach. As if I just came in from a brisk walk about. Right. I feel as if I am wearing a cap of perspiration which sometimes feels like a net of the cafe` sort. All of which is taking place in this lodge which is at 70 degrees. All windows are wide open and I am enjoying the change in weather. My skin and Spirit's would enjoy it more if it wasn't for so much being stirred up in my brains and stomach.
The dizziness I am experiancing is the sort that feels at eye level and is a rotating dizzy. Like a slow drive round and around a Turn About. Frustrating is the only word I can think of at the moment. Just damned frustrating. Today, I use both my quad cane and the walls to get from here to there. As much as I would enjoy being out of doors, I know that I am at high risk for a fall today AND even though I would rather fall onto my lawn, my rather large ass will remain indoors today...
...am learning to listen, you see? Or should I ask, you hear? No, you read?
Word. Yes. Oui. Si. Mmmmkay?
p.s. I don't want any damned falls. Have you ever had a dream where you felt as if you were falling? If any yes's - then that's the feeling inside the gut when I fall. There have been too times when a fall just up's and happens and hell yes, there have been a couple of times I have screamed.
So what? Falling's a Bitch. Alright then...
Love to all Relations! Love, peace and more peace.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Norway, Please Reconsider?
Dearest Brethren of Norway,
My name is Mario. I live in Tampa, Florida. I beg your Nation's pardon, I simply wish to provide a point of view of a simple One, from across this Atlantic Ocean.
I understand the politic's of "For", the death penalty and the "against", the death penalty. We have same issues and debates here in The United States Of America...
...but, telling the world that because your government say's, He-Who-Massacred-Your-Youth is mad and or insane, renders him excluded from the death penalty...
..."IS", in it's very twisted approach, a type/sort/form of madness within those very words. Insane? Madness?
Really, Norway?
"He-Who-Massacred-Your-Youth", butchered the children and youthful ones, he slaughtered fellow Earth Mate's. He bombed, shot, and gunned down as prey someone's child. Slaughtering the many Innocent One's, and forever altering the lives of their family's - their friend's - their "Circle of Life". Altered their Nation and those of us out here who have respect for the Kindred of Norway. I feel today the same horror as when he walked with a purpose to kill. To kill? To slaughter? And be permitted to live, as if?
I have permitted this to forever alter the way I think about the death penalty. I am more confidant now, than ever before this massacre, that when the Police/FBI/CIA/KGB/Sheriff/Deputy/Officials/Border Patrol/Coast Guard, etc., have a smoking gun in the hand of one who has committed such a massacre, I mean 77 people were murdered...
...77 Kindred Folk...
This is the dreadful person with said smoking gun in hand and the blood of dozens on his clothes. He is automaticly "guilty" of said crimes. Period.
His purpose was intended to do just what the word massacre imply's and defines...
...he used innocents as human target practice...
...he slaughtered children and butchered our youth, our fellow Human's.
This man planned and pre-planned and master-minded this display of total disregard for human life. So finely did he plan this massive attack, that he was permitted to dispatch each individual as he pleased . Going as far as to "cut off" any form of escape.
No Norway, this person had the smoking gun in his hand. He is guilty.
I am a simple One across this giant pond. I am the father of two beautiful daughters and I do my best when I communicate to provide a different point of view. I have seen photographs of this individual - in every photo his eye's betray him. He is not mad nor is he insane...
...the smile he wears on his face is his spit at the feet of them who govern the beautiful Nation of Norway.
May God Bless The Wonderful People of Norway.
Norway, please reconsider?
My name is Mario. I live in Tampa, Florida. I beg your Nation's pardon, I simply wish to provide a point of view of a simple One, from across this Atlantic Ocean.
I understand the politic's of "For", the death penalty and the "against", the death penalty. We have same issues and debates here in The United States Of America...
...but, telling the world that because your government say's, He-Who-Massacred-Your-Youth is mad and or insane, renders him excluded from the death penalty...
..."IS", in it's very twisted approach, a type/sort/form of madness within those very words. Insane? Madness?
Really, Norway?
"He-Who-Massacred-Your-Youth", butchered the children and youthful ones, he slaughtered fellow Earth Mate's. He bombed, shot, and gunned down as prey someone's child. Slaughtering the many Innocent One's, and forever altering the lives of their family's - their friend's - their "Circle of Life". Altered their Nation and those of us out here who have respect for the Kindred of Norway. I feel today the same horror as when he walked with a purpose to kill. To kill? To slaughter? And be permitted to live, as if?
I have permitted this to forever alter the way I think about the death penalty. I am more confidant now, than ever before this massacre, that when the Police/FBI/CIA/KGB/Sheriff/Deputy/Officials/Border Patrol/Coast Guard, etc., have a smoking gun in the hand of one who has committed such a massacre, I mean 77 people were murdered...
...77 Kindred Folk...
This is the dreadful person with said smoking gun in hand and the blood of dozens on his clothes. He is automaticly "guilty" of said crimes. Period.
His purpose was intended to do just what the word massacre imply's and defines...
...he used innocents as human target practice...
...he slaughtered children and butchered our youth, our fellow Human's.
This man planned and pre-planned and master-minded this display of total disregard for human life. So finely did he plan this massive attack, that he was permitted to dispatch each individual as he pleased . Going as far as to "cut off" any form of escape.
No Norway, this person had the smoking gun in his hand. He is guilty.
I am a simple One across this giant pond. I am the father of two beautiful daughters and I do my best when I communicate to provide a different point of view. I have seen photographs of this individual - in every photo his eye's betray him. He is not mad nor is he insane...
...the smile he wears on his face is his spit at the feet of them who govern the beautiful Nation of Norway.
May God Bless The Wonderful People of Norway.
Norway, please reconsider?
Monday, November 28, 2011
Meniere's and The Sleep Queue
Am still in The Sleep Queue...
...fighting off the sleep and am knowing damned well it's that I'm in the queue. Am very much aware and familiar with this fork on My Path. I've walked this queue before and have a flutter-in-my-heart confidance knowing I will rejoin My Path up the Trail a bit or few. In the past twenty four hours have slept and committed eighteen of them to Dream World.
One of the worms that lives between my scalp and skull just wiggled about.
I am having an uncomfortable day with the Meinere's. My nausea is resting right below my throat and has been very present today. I tasted what my medications tastes like earlier and have had the urge to puke. I am dizzy. The sweats and perspirations have been present as long as I have been awake...
...even with all of the window's here in the House of Seven Window's wide open, I sweat and perspire. Even with this cool breeze that blows through the Lodge from the North East and passes the scents of burning pine and evergreens. The Wind and the Rain pass the lodge by as I softly send prayer Blessing's to All Relations.
At this moment my Deaf Left Ear is busy with the sounds of the street wrecker or cement buster. One of the tools of working on the side walks and streets. Except these sound loud at first then trail off to a silence, then it begins again and again. I very much can not describe the sound in words.
Anyway's, it's in here and the noise makes it difficult to concentrate. Espeacially when my hard of hearing right ear is busy with crickets, locust and cicadas. And yes, they're loud...
...the non-hearing in my deaf left ear just gave off a loud roaring sound.
Damned crickets...
So, I do suppose I have learned to listen to my body, more now than ever before in my entire time here on this gentle orb we call Earth Mother. Compared to the other planets we have but a small piece of this massive universe to love and maintain. I have often said I am glad I was born when I was because I am tired of seeing and reading and hearing about what we have done or are doing to our Earth Mother. My Mother Earth. Feeling this, as I mourn the loss of my Earth Mother before either one of us has crossed. Weird yes? Maybe, but it is this space for loving and peaceful stuff that is alive between my ears. Sometimes it even seem's much larger than this Universe. In my simple mind, there is no limit to what the Universe is in my skull. Because, you see, I believe it is necessary to occupy My mind, with the gifts of reading, thinking, mediatating, crying, silence, music and even contemplations on the noise's and sound's going on and off in my ears.
I must keep this passion alive, this exhile has changed me into a me, I never saw coming, but here I am. I am that I am.
This capture's a snap shot of a moment in time.
...fighting off the sleep and am knowing damned well it's that I'm in the queue. Am very much aware and familiar with this fork on My Path. I've walked this queue before and have a flutter-in-my-heart confidance knowing I will rejoin My Path up the Trail a bit or few. In the past twenty four hours have slept and committed eighteen of them to Dream World.
One of the worms that lives between my scalp and skull just wiggled about.
I am having an uncomfortable day with the Meinere's. My nausea is resting right below my throat and has been very present today. I tasted what my medications tastes like earlier and have had the urge to puke. I am dizzy. The sweats and perspirations have been present as long as I have been awake...
...even with all of the window's here in the House of Seven Window's wide open, I sweat and perspire. Even with this cool breeze that blows through the Lodge from the North East and passes the scents of burning pine and evergreens. The Wind and the Rain pass the lodge by as I softly send prayer Blessing's to All Relations.
At this moment my Deaf Left Ear is busy with the sounds of the street wrecker or cement buster. One of the tools of working on the side walks and streets. Except these sound loud at first then trail off to a silence, then it begins again and again. I very much can not describe the sound in words.
Anyway's, it's in here and the noise makes it difficult to concentrate. Espeacially when my hard of hearing right ear is busy with crickets, locust and cicadas. And yes, they're loud...
...the non-hearing in my deaf left ear just gave off a loud roaring sound.
Damned crickets...
So, I do suppose I have learned to listen to my body, more now than ever before in my entire time here on this gentle orb we call Earth Mother. Compared to the other planets we have but a small piece of this massive universe to love and maintain. I have often said I am glad I was born when I was because I am tired of seeing and reading and hearing about what we have done or are doing to our Earth Mother. My Mother Earth. Feeling this, as I mourn the loss of my Earth Mother before either one of us has crossed. Weird yes? Maybe, but it is this space for loving and peaceful stuff that is alive between my ears. Sometimes it even seem's much larger than this Universe. In my simple mind, there is no limit to what the Universe is in my skull. Because, you see, I believe it is necessary to occupy My mind, with the gifts of reading, thinking, mediatating, crying, silence, music and even contemplations on the noise's and sound's going on and off in my ears.
I must keep this passion alive, this exhile has changed me into a me, I never saw coming, but here I am. I am that I am.
This capture's a snap shot of a moment in time.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Meniere's Disease, Have Been Laid Out
On this past Wednesday, 23 november 2011, I had an attack of meniere's. I would love to paint a perfect picture with my words of where I've been since and will do my best to provide a snap shot of the past few days. I'm just not too sure on that perfect piece. Oui?
Maybe sometimes good words don't alaways fit into square holes.
I do not remember what time it was this past Wednesday or what might have provoked the attack, but I made haste getting to bed. Wait!! THIS IS WHAT PRECEDED THE ATTACK!" **Earlier, while sitting on my sofa I felt what felt to me as if my life had stopped just for the quickest of a quick moment. I mean all and everything went still. It felt as if I had the wind blown out of me by one of those giant balls we played with in Gym Class in higher grades. Just blam! And life stopped for a flash...I know now that our live's do pass before our eye's. I know this as truth, because I saw it and felt it.
What I think about all of this, is this that I needed to slow down just a moment to have my private inner Atomic Clock calibrated. My Core, My Center. I don't know what happened to "create" this sudden stop. And no, this is not the first time this type of meniere's attack has happened. It's just so odd. This does not happen often with this symptom.
Was able to share holiday festivites at my sister's home with much and wonderful Kinfolk for a brief few hours then came staright home. Showered and then was off to bed and contemplated myself to sleep. Sometimes I will pray myself to sleep. I got up late Friday evening and was awake for maybe an hour for when Brenda got home from work. Then it was back to sleep. And I slept until late this morning. For a total of damned near 38 hours plus. My intention today and with this publication is to share some of these meniere's disease related issues with you, my Relations. Just like what I shared above. These that are here now...
...before we go any further, let me share real quick, that the sensation of a sudden stop in life is very nauseating. Very sudden and very quick. Abrupt! It's just not normal. Ya know?
My Left Daef Ear, has has had a satalite circling the globe in search of it's docking station. I mean, come on already. It passes by over head and I hear it passing by, seconds later I hear it approaching me. I sure as shit don't want to go making a "Top 10", when it comes to the symptoms that have made a middle aged man grow older too quickly. No pity here! Just truth. No, I haven't thrown in no damned towels neither! Don't plan too either.
Today had forced myself to not only get up from bed, but ran errands with Brenda. Have stayed focused on task at hand and still working on the "chipping" away piece a menotor of mine shared with me. Pretty damn good sense too. Chip it away and let it go...let God take it.
My Right Good Bad Ear has had monster crickets, cicada's and locusts playing to their own beats. So loud and so distracting. The past few days have also been poor hearing days. It is just too difficult to conduct conversation with one ear deaf and the other playing mind games. The moments of complete and total silenece continues. This is random. The ploops and plops continue too.
Clap on, clap off...
...I wish.
Sweating and perspiration has been present everyday since Wednesday and has been quite bad today. The balance and coordination issues made today high at task and high risk day. "White Knucke Day". Even still, It was a such a nice day out and about with Brenda. I suspect we did make a right good exercise out of this. As bad as I wish to get out and about, I better bust it when I can. En'it?
The Worms still reside within my skull and have not returned to my face.
Old Kindred Spirit, thank you for your visit. Nancy-Pooh, great seeing you and mama at the Mall! So sorry about my hearing. Timmmmmmm and Dione, everytime we pass a Hart Line bus I check to see who's driving. Someday.
Gotta Go! Holla..........
Maybe sometimes good words don't alaways fit into square holes.
I do not remember what time it was this past Wednesday or what might have provoked the attack, but I made haste getting to bed. Wait!! THIS IS WHAT PRECEDED THE ATTACK!" **Earlier, while sitting on my sofa I felt what felt to me as if my life had stopped just for the quickest of a quick moment. I mean all and everything went still. It felt as if I had the wind blown out of me by one of those giant balls we played with in Gym Class in higher grades. Just blam! And life stopped for a flash...I know now that our live's do pass before our eye's. I know this as truth, because I saw it and felt it.
What I think about all of this, is this that I needed to slow down just a moment to have my private inner Atomic Clock calibrated. My Core, My Center. I don't know what happened to "create" this sudden stop. And no, this is not the first time this type of meniere's attack has happened. It's just so odd. This does not happen often with this symptom.
Was able to share holiday festivites at my sister's home with much and wonderful Kinfolk for a brief few hours then came staright home. Showered and then was off to bed and contemplated myself to sleep. Sometimes I will pray myself to sleep. I got up late Friday evening and was awake for maybe an hour for when Brenda got home from work. Then it was back to sleep. And I slept until late this morning. For a total of damned near 38 hours plus. My intention today and with this publication is to share some of these meniere's disease related issues with you, my Relations. Just like what I shared above. These that are here now...
...before we go any further, let me share real quick, that the sensation of a sudden stop in life is very nauseating. Very sudden and very quick. Abrupt! It's just not normal. Ya know?
My Left Daef Ear, has has had a satalite circling the globe in search of it's docking station. I mean, come on already. It passes by over head and I hear it passing by, seconds later I hear it approaching me. I sure as shit don't want to go making a "Top 10", when it comes to the symptoms that have made a middle aged man grow older too quickly. No pity here! Just truth. No, I haven't thrown in no damned towels neither! Don't plan too either.
Today had forced myself to not only get up from bed, but ran errands with Brenda. Have stayed focused on task at hand and still working on the "chipping" away piece a menotor of mine shared with me. Pretty damn good sense too. Chip it away and let it go...let God take it.
My Right Good Bad Ear has had monster crickets, cicada's and locusts playing to their own beats. So loud and so distracting. The past few days have also been poor hearing days. It is just too difficult to conduct conversation with one ear deaf and the other playing mind games. The moments of complete and total silenece continues. This is random. The ploops and plops continue too.
Clap on, clap off...
...I wish.
Sweating and perspiration has been present everyday since Wednesday and has been quite bad today. The balance and coordination issues made today high at task and high risk day. "White Knucke Day". Even still, It was a such a nice day out and about with Brenda. I suspect we did make a right good exercise out of this. As bad as I wish to get out and about, I better bust it when I can. En'it?
The Worms still reside within my skull and have not returned to my face.
Old Kindred Spirit, thank you for your visit. Nancy-Pooh, great seeing you and mama at the Mall! So sorry about my hearing. Timmmmmmm and Dione, everytime we pass a Hart Line bus I check to see who's driving. Someday.
Gotta Go! Holla..........
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Birds Of A Feather
There was once a day, when I traveled My Path with a total reckless abandon. I lived Life on the other side of too many rail road tracks and it all never troubled me to go back to visit "the" other area's that I once dwelled, danced, loved or fought. I don't think this was much of a Death Wish. I never felt this, but folks in my Circle, then and now, would ask how I would dare do certain things that some Folks found odd and right plum out of the ordinary...
...Father of mine, would remind me time and time again that I was the Black Sheep of the Family.......
..........................that I was a late bloomer, also. Time after time.
Some Folk's understand by what I just said prior to this...
...other's won't.
But, I share with you right now, I'll be damned if I am not right back into living life as the Black Sheep of the Crew. Once again! Meniere's and it's friends made certain of this. It's like that.
Being Single Side deaf and Hard of Hearing places me right outside the rim of the other Sheep's Circles...
...out of sight out of mind. The damned Black Sheep of the family.
If this isn't the stinking truth, I could not explain this in any better fashion. So, you see there's alot of alone time. Which for me can get sort of scary. I thrive when I am around people. Um, this places me in my mind right back into the Late Bloomer thang.
It is time now for me to get out and about more often. Spread these wings some! I am in process of applying for a service that is provided by our Transit System Hartline. Once, this application is submitted and approved, I will be provided door to door transportaion for all of my medical appointment need's. As well as other needs too. The young lady I spoke with assured me that I am the type of candidate for this program...
...it sure will keep me from having to ask for transport from Kinfolk. I mean really, that get's frustrating sometimes. And, this will provide me a source to get to school for classes and a gym where I can exercise and make the body sronger.
Have a fantastic chance to hang out with Kindred Spirit's.....
...really, it's like, hangin' out with Birds of a Feather...
...Father of mine, would remind me time and time again that I was the Black Sheep of the Family.......
..........................that I was a late bloomer, also. Time after time.
Some Folk's understand by what I just said prior to this...
...other's won't.
But, I share with you right now, I'll be damned if I am not right back into living life as the Black Sheep of the Crew. Once again! Meniere's and it's friends made certain of this. It's like that.
Being Single Side deaf and Hard of Hearing places me right outside the rim of the other Sheep's Circles...
...out of sight out of mind. The damned Black Sheep of the family.
If this isn't the stinking truth, I could not explain this in any better fashion. So, you see there's alot of alone time. Which for me can get sort of scary. I thrive when I am around people. Um, this places me in my mind right back into the Late Bloomer thang.
It is time now for me to get out and about more often. Spread these wings some! I am in process of applying for a service that is provided by our Transit System Hartline. Once, this application is submitted and approved, I will be provided door to door transportaion for all of my medical appointment need's. As well as other needs too. The young lady I spoke with assured me that I am the type of candidate for this program...
...it sure will keep me from having to ask for transport from Kinfolk. I mean really, that get's frustrating sometimes. And, this will provide me a source to get to school for classes and a gym where I can exercise and make the body sronger.
Have a fantastic chance to hang out with Kindred Spirit's.....
...really, it's like, hangin' out with Birds of a Feather...
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Meniere's Disease and A Visit With Dr. N.
Woke up early this morning only to have to turn about and go back to bed for self-induced sleep. I had woken up with the sounds and noises as if I had no sleep at all, because I went to bed and off to sleep with these very noises and sounds. Made it a chore to read...
...what can you do?
It is 1553 and I am exhausted and rather would be in bed sleeping right at this moment, but I have just returned home from an appointment with Doctor N., aka Dr. Psych. My In-Law's assisted me with a transport and some good conversation.
Must admit I considered today's visit a visit with energies that took flight about in this office of his. It felt as if I had a damned good show of some intellectual fencing...
...I believe my Warrior Spirit accompanied me to this visit, which did in fact end up going for a bit longer than the usual time allotted...
...the vibes - the energies - the passions. Today's visit was not just a visit to my psychiatrist...it was a visit with a person who does this for a living. A Man's man and sonebody I truly feel has my best and better interest in mind. An ally, but whew shit, this was straight up face-to-face, your energy with my energy creating this verbal fencing. When words were done and said, a shake of the hands, an eye-to-eye and I knew today was good day to be alive...
...yes, it would have been a damned good day to die too, but yet here I am by the Blessings of Great Spirit. Alive and at this moment feeling like I could go on safari in Botswana...or a walk about in the National Forest here in Ocala...
...maybe My Paths in Cherokee, that are there still, waiting for my foot steps. I can feel the pulse of Earth Mother from those mountain's. I have had the Blessing's of seeing the Little People of the Forest with these eye's. My very skin yearns for the touch of the clouds...the scent of Mother Earth.
The bottom line of the visit with Dr. N., is this; this is where I am supposed to be at this moment in time. On My Path. I am here right now tip-taping on this keyboard with a force of energy and a belief and faith, that a day will come when I will be able to do these things, such as walk about's and safari's with an ease once again!
For now, I must go eat crow on the FaceBook. I threw out a couple/few "F" bomb's and there are some young one's on the scroll. Thought about this over at doctor's office.
Caio........
...what can you do?
It is 1553 and I am exhausted and rather would be in bed sleeping right at this moment, but I have just returned home from an appointment with Doctor N., aka Dr. Psych. My In-Law's assisted me with a transport and some good conversation.
Must admit I considered today's visit a visit with energies that took flight about in this office of his. It felt as if I had a damned good show of some intellectual fencing...
...I believe my Warrior Spirit accompanied me to this visit, which did in fact end up going for a bit longer than the usual time allotted...
...the vibes - the energies - the passions. Today's visit was not just a visit to my psychiatrist...it was a visit with a person who does this for a living. A Man's man and sonebody I truly feel has my best and better interest in mind. An ally, but whew shit, this was straight up face-to-face, your energy with my energy creating this verbal fencing. When words were done and said, a shake of the hands, an eye-to-eye and I knew today was good day to be alive...
...yes, it would have been a damned good day to die too, but yet here I am by the Blessings of Great Spirit. Alive and at this moment feeling like I could go on safari in Botswana...or a walk about in the National Forest here in Ocala...
...maybe My Paths in Cherokee, that are there still, waiting for my foot steps. I can feel the pulse of Earth Mother from those mountain's. I have had the Blessing's of seeing the Little People of the Forest with these eye's. My very skin yearns for the touch of the clouds...the scent of Mother Earth.
The bottom line of the visit with Dr. N., is this; this is where I am supposed to be at this moment in time. On My Path. I am here right now tip-taping on this keyboard with a force of energy and a belief and faith, that a day will come when I will be able to do these things, such as walk about's and safari's with an ease once again!
For now, I must go eat crow on the FaceBook. I threw out a couple/few "F" bomb's and there are some young one's on the scroll. Thought about this over at doctor's office.
Caio........
Monday, November 21, 2011
Meniere's Disease, Oh, I See Said The Deaf One
Oh wait a minute. Yes, I see some thing's a bit clearer now. And as if it all makes sense, it's all coming back quite clear to me.
Maybe this is why I cry.
It is I who am the disabled one. No matter how much I wish - no matter how hard I try to fight. It is I who have this disease Meniere's, and the one who labours to breath at times. I am the one with the emotional issues. Also all of those other diseases of odds-n-ends and this and that's. It is I, who am unable to work. I am the one dependant on others for transport...
...the embarrassment of having to ask...
...because I can't drive my auto. Not anymore...
...the shame that comes with the "need" and getting the "hand out's" from the goverment. The utter disgust having to go look in somebody's face when it comes to my medical issues and other what-not's and I. Ashamed to have to beg, "Yes Sah, Mr. Goverment Person". "No Ma'am, Miss. Goverment Lady". Keep that damned smile on boy!
Maybe, is this why I cry?
Don't bump into things. Not anymore Mr. Human Bumper Car, please. Please, just please, don't let I get struck by a meniere's attack in public.
I am the one with no hearing on this side, that I pick up odd noises and sounds from. And bad hearing on that side. The one that is getting worse as time goes on by...
...I am the one who can't walk a straight line while using a freaking walker. It is I with this balance and coordination issue.
Don't fall, Dude. Because, as I have learned by the experiance I had in The-Hospital-Named-After-My-Home-State, FALLS, DON"T FUCKEN MATTER! As horrific and gut wrenching as these are, that hospital taught me where falling is on their scale of Patient Safety, and Patient Care...
...it also made me aware of where this scale "is" with other people too.
I have learned this and speak it honestly...
...as long as it is "I" and not "you", in this spot, we're all good. I see this now.
These are the reasons I cry.
p.s. Falling is letting gravity have it's way with you. It's simple like that, you see?
Maybe this is why I cry.
It is I who am the disabled one. No matter how much I wish - no matter how hard I try to fight. It is I who have this disease Meniere's, and the one who labours to breath at times. I am the one with the emotional issues. Also all of those other diseases of odds-n-ends and this and that's. It is I, who am unable to work. I am the one dependant on others for transport...
...the embarrassment of having to ask...
...because I can't drive my auto. Not anymore...
...the shame that comes with the "need" and getting the "hand out's" from the goverment. The utter disgust having to go look in somebody's face when it comes to my medical issues and other what-not's and I. Ashamed to have to beg, "Yes Sah, Mr. Goverment Person". "No Ma'am, Miss. Goverment Lady". Keep that damned smile on boy!
Maybe, is this why I cry?
Don't bump into things. Not anymore Mr. Human Bumper Car, please. Please, just please, don't let I get struck by a meniere's attack in public.
I am the one with no hearing on this side, that I pick up odd noises and sounds from. And bad hearing on that side. The one that is getting worse as time goes on by...
...I am the one who can't walk a straight line while using a freaking walker. It is I with this balance and coordination issue.
Don't fall, Dude. Because, as I have learned by the experiance I had in The-Hospital-Named-After-My-Home-State, FALLS, DON"T FUCKEN MATTER! As horrific and gut wrenching as these are, that hospital taught me where falling is on their scale of Patient Safety, and Patient Care...
...it also made me aware of where this scale "is" with other people too.
I have learned this and speak it honestly...
...as long as it is "I" and not "you", in this spot, we're all good. I see this now.
These are the reasons I cry.
p.s. Falling is letting gravity have it's way with you. It's simple like that, you see?
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Or Is It Because I'm Deaf And Still Losing More Hearing
Relations.
One must remember to click on the SAVED button from time to time. I just lost some words from my Heart and Spirit's and suppose the vibe would be same now as it was before somehow wiping out an entire paragraph or two. I am real big on the Save thing because of early classes that were required when computers really started to hit business and home. Guess I got too involved with what was in mind and the speed my fingers only wish they could tap-tap as fast as the shit comes to mind. I've tip-tapped so much, yet am still such a novice. Saved.
Tonight I speak of home, myself and Kinfolk who have a tough time remembering these issues I have had with the loss of hearing and continuation of loss, for only a few years now. And as such, too much negativity has been building up and stirred with the continuation of the loss of hearing in my Right Ear. It remains so that in a sleep, I am unable to hear a telephone not two feet from my face. Keep in mind I am completely deaf on the Left...
...I can not "hear" while laying down on my right side. It is not my fault that my hearing has decided to go as bad it has gotten. It just has and continues to do so. There is no control or wishing this away. Between this and the sudden loss of all hearing episodes that I get frequently, it is no wonder the depression I have cuts deep. Too deep.
Thing's become alot more clearer once one has heard or experianced the negative energies that comes from those who do hear normally. Kinfolk especially...
...and it is I to let all Relations know at this moment, that I must continue to be subjected to the attitudes of others when I it is necessary to ask, "please repeat that", or "no, I didn't hear you", or something as simple as just a "please say it again", sends Kinfolk into a really ugly fucking mess. Which I permit to provoke a counter attack against these folks...
...shit, I really don't want to lose anymore hearing. I take these attacks personally because I am the one losing the Hearing and really do not understand.
It becomes my fault when someone walks into my dark yet safe, my bed room while I sleep and have my legs brushed and words spoken that I could not hear nor define. It is because I reacted in a horrified manner that the One, who did this was permitted to grow angry and curse me becuase I did not know who the fuck it was at my lower extremities, in the dark with-out a verbal notice. Or at least some form or sort of sound making that would respectfully awaken me.
Yesterday, while shopping at Wally World, I had a person of known relationship, creep up on me from behind - to touch me inappropriately and with raised voice utter some shit I forgot moments later, because this person of known relationship, scared and startled me so bad - so much, I screamed aloud! Loudly and in "public"! Look, really, ONE just never creeps up on a Deaf person or a person who is Hard of Hearing. I mean, I really thought this was common sense, respect and dignity for a person with these disablilties. What in the fuck was she thinking? And then, this person has the fucking nerve to say later, "I have noticed how you scare so much easier lately"...
...oh yeah, really! This shit is too fucked up to be made up. So I have once again established boundaries with both of the before mentioned. As well as the one who wants to play fake American Sign language or the rude ones who insist on whispering.
It's all simple as ABC, really. I have been recieving books and magazines for Hearing Loss and one other publications for two to three years. NOT ONCE HAVE I EVER SEEN ONE PERSON PICK UP ONE TO READ AN ARTICLE. NOT ONCE! When One person in a family has Hearing problems - the whole family has Hearing problems. Fact.
Now, and sadly, there is rubbish going on because of Kinfolks holding in stuff that would be best communicated straight away rather than locked up. I have some responsibilty in this piece because I may have communicated more and even possibly more effective with conversations of the past. With this and these, there will be follow up's to take place. I must ensure this, because what I am "hearing" now is this, "Oh yeah, we said this on such and such" or "Really, we talked about this last week". Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......
No. The fuck we have not! Not if you or someone has not made contact with me. Have MY attention when you begin to speak with me! Look onto my face and into my eye's when you speak, so that I have a better chance of hearing your words and or at least being able to read your lips and body language...
...which seems to be coming along to me more and more naturally.
Reading LIPS, not fucking MINDS!
We have taken one step towards making my enviroment a bit safer and surer today. Brenda and I purchased our "first" piece of equipment which will help me hear the door bell when there is a guest, or UPS or the USPS or a neighbour at the front door. Until, today, while sitting right here at this desk, I had been unable to hear someone ring the front door or knock on the front door. This piece of equipment is a wireless additional door bell that we have placed in the middle of our house. It is very loud and sounds like church bells, ding-ding-ding-dong like. Oh yes, I am so happy! I mean really, we have finally busted a move on getting these tools to make life a little less scarey, alot more secure and safe, and most importantly more aware that someone is at my front door. Yes. I am happy.
All I need is some understanding, love, respect and dignity. As it would be if I wore those other shoes...
...or is it because "I" am the Deaf and Hard of Hearing one.
One must remember to click on the SAVED button from time to time. I just lost some words from my Heart and Spirit's and suppose the vibe would be same now as it was before somehow wiping out an entire paragraph or two. I am real big on the Save thing because of early classes that were required when computers really started to hit business and home. Guess I got too involved with what was in mind and the speed my fingers only wish they could tap-tap as fast as the shit comes to mind. I've tip-tapped so much, yet am still such a novice. Saved.
Tonight I speak of home, myself and Kinfolk who have a tough time remembering these issues I have had with the loss of hearing and continuation of loss, for only a few years now. And as such, too much negativity has been building up and stirred with the continuation of the loss of hearing in my Right Ear. It remains so that in a sleep, I am unable to hear a telephone not two feet from my face. Keep in mind I am completely deaf on the Left...
...I can not "hear" while laying down on my right side. It is not my fault that my hearing has decided to go as bad it has gotten. It just has and continues to do so. There is no control or wishing this away. Between this and the sudden loss of all hearing episodes that I get frequently, it is no wonder the depression I have cuts deep. Too deep.
Thing's become alot more clearer once one has heard or experianced the negative energies that comes from those who do hear normally. Kinfolk especially...
...and it is I to let all Relations know at this moment, that I must continue to be subjected to the attitudes of others when I it is necessary to ask, "please repeat that", or "no, I didn't hear you", or something as simple as just a "please say it again", sends Kinfolk into a really ugly fucking mess. Which I permit to provoke a counter attack against these folks...
...shit, I really don't want to lose anymore hearing. I take these attacks personally because I am the one losing the Hearing and really do not understand.
It becomes my fault when someone walks into my dark yet safe, my bed room while I sleep and have my legs brushed and words spoken that I could not hear nor define. It is because I reacted in a horrified manner that the One, who did this was permitted to grow angry and curse me becuase I did not know who the fuck it was at my lower extremities, in the dark with-out a verbal notice. Or at least some form or sort of sound making that would respectfully awaken me.
Yesterday, while shopping at Wally World, I had a person of known relationship, creep up on me from behind - to touch me inappropriately and with raised voice utter some shit I forgot moments later, because this person of known relationship, scared and startled me so bad - so much, I screamed aloud! Loudly and in "public"! Look, really, ONE just never creeps up on a Deaf person or a person who is Hard of Hearing. I mean, I really thought this was common sense, respect and dignity for a person with these disablilties. What in the fuck was she thinking? And then, this person has the fucking nerve to say later, "I have noticed how you scare so much easier lately"...
...oh yeah, really! This shit is too fucked up to be made up. So I have once again established boundaries with both of the before mentioned. As well as the one who wants to play fake American Sign language or the rude ones who insist on whispering.
It's all simple as ABC, really. I have been recieving books and magazines for Hearing Loss and one other publications for two to three years. NOT ONCE HAVE I EVER SEEN ONE PERSON PICK UP ONE TO READ AN ARTICLE. NOT ONCE! When One person in a family has Hearing problems - the whole family has Hearing problems. Fact.
Now, and sadly, there is rubbish going on because of Kinfolks holding in stuff that would be best communicated straight away rather than locked up. I have some responsibilty in this piece because I may have communicated more and even possibly more effective with conversations of the past. With this and these, there will be follow up's to take place. I must ensure this, because what I am "hearing" now is this, "Oh yeah, we said this on such and such" or "Really, we talked about this last week". Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......
No. The fuck we have not! Not if you or someone has not made contact with me. Have MY attention when you begin to speak with me! Look onto my face and into my eye's when you speak, so that I have a better chance of hearing your words and or at least being able to read your lips and body language...
...which seems to be coming along to me more and more naturally.
Reading LIPS, not fucking MINDS!
We have taken one step towards making my enviroment a bit safer and surer today. Brenda and I purchased our "first" piece of equipment which will help me hear the door bell when there is a guest, or UPS or the USPS or a neighbour at the front door. Until, today, while sitting right here at this desk, I had been unable to hear someone ring the front door or knock on the front door. This piece of equipment is a wireless additional door bell that we have placed in the middle of our house. It is very loud and sounds like church bells, ding-ding-ding-dong like. Oh yes, I am so happy! I mean really, we have finally busted a move on getting these tools to make life a little less scarey, alot more secure and safe, and most importantly more aware that someone is at my front door. Yes. I am happy.
All I need is some understanding, love, respect and dignity. As it would be if I wore those other shoes...
...or is it because "I" am the Deaf and Hard of Hearing one.
Is It Because My Skin Is Transparent?
Greetings Relations,
Today is 20 November 2011, and here in Tampa, Flordia it is damned near summertime hot. Damned near, now, I didn't say summertime hot, just sure damned close. Without tools to gage, I would call it 85f. Straight up too! To hot for open windows in this house. Huh, my wife, daughter and these three hounds would be bugging out...
...so, the air condtioner is on. Think, today is 20 November and there are folks burning logs and running up their light bill from having the heater on. There is this fantastic breeze coming across the state from the East, seems's to scoop up all the warm stuff and brings it right onto and over us. Yeah, there's a sweet breeze, but the breeze is warm. Hell, even in the shade it's warm. We have had an early indication of what lies ahead a few days and weeks back. There has been a few "no A.C." night's and this same-as-it-always-has-been weather seems to be right on track to be a cooler and longer Florida Winter...
...I don't need a damned degree to feel and see what weather comes. This DNA, is of and born here in the South. So many multi-generations go back, my brain don't feel like counting them that far back. Oh and please, yes, I have this writen down and placed where I may read and study the names of them who came before me...
...to read the names of the city's and states where they were born, married, lived and died. In my Spirit's Core, there's something about the DNA that orginates from my Mom's Kinfolk, that I find the most interesting, fun, hard working, proud and loving Kinfolk...
...Kinfolk, from the Cherokee Nation in the S.E. To the White Kinfolk. I mean, like white as, White bread white, kinfolk.
Then we had the inter-mingling of the DNA's. These Kinfolk from my dad's side, the Spanish and Italian, the German and Cuban, the Moor's and Kinfolk-Of-Colour. My Relations, taught me that family was so very important. I was raised with this "blood-is-thicker-than-water" saying my whole life and thus I have always been a really big fan and my entire family was a big deal to me...
...until dad died.
Some of these "family" member's standing next to my dad's casket. Talked and spoke with split and cut tounges and were wairing racoon masks..."oh, what a mighty fine this and that", "Oh, he was always there or here". These supposed to be kinfolk didn't even know, "This Father Of Mine"! It was like looking at people speak through their rectum. Their ass holes had lips at my dad's funeral. It was a sight to be seen. This is also. when and where I caught two WOmen Kinfolk, speaking ill/talking shit, of my Dead Mother. No, I'll never ever forget this or them. It was like right then that one million light bulb's began to flick on...
...since dad's crossing, there's been seperate Sierra Family's. No, a better description are split Sierra Family's. It's probably better off for it be this way, for me anyway's This I suspect, has been something that I have permitted to affect and infect my Spirit's over the years. It held a heavy piece of depression in my Core for too many years. In so many way's, I can not even begin to describe, the way I really feel about these, My Kinfolk. Or is it becuase my skin is transparent?
And, now back to the weather...
These are some reasons why I live in Florida. As crazy as it may get, there's something extraordinary about Florida weather. And, by-the-way, I love it when these silly ass weather "persons", take the change in weather personally. As if they were the creator's of the rain, wind, and heat. Let me share with you the truth, Florida Meterologist are wannabe big time t.v. star's. These sometimes very foolish person's will apologize for God making Rain on your picnic day. Or make excuse as to why "it" was not noticed, (in this time and age) that winds and rains wash away entire villages and towns...
...if I was a wannabe, it would be for something much more grandeur than wearing a silly-tie-of-the-day and make predictions on the weather here in Florida.
While it is Great Spirit, has it all under control.
Today is 20 November 2011, and here in Tampa, Flordia it is damned near summertime hot. Damned near, now, I didn't say summertime hot, just sure damned close. Without tools to gage, I would call it 85f. Straight up too! To hot for open windows in this house. Huh, my wife, daughter and these three hounds would be bugging out...
...so, the air condtioner is on. Think, today is 20 November and there are folks burning logs and running up their light bill from having the heater on. There is this fantastic breeze coming across the state from the East, seems's to scoop up all the warm stuff and brings it right onto and over us. Yeah, there's a sweet breeze, but the breeze is warm. Hell, even in the shade it's warm. We have had an early indication of what lies ahead a few days and weeks back. There has been a few "no A.C." night's and this same-as-it-always-has-been weather seems to be right on track to be a cooler and longer Florida Winter...
...I don't need a damned degree to feel and see what weather comes. This DNA, is of and born here in the South. So many multi-generations go back, my brain don't feel like counting them that far back. Oh and please, yes, I have this writen down and placed where I may read and study the names of them who came before me...
...to read the names of the city's and states where they were born, married, lived and died. In my Spirit's Core, there's something about the DNA that orginates from my Mom's Kinfolk, that I find the most interesting, fun, hard working, proud and loving Kinfolk...
...Kinfolk, from the Cherokee Nation in the S.E. To the White Kinfolk. I mean, like white as, White bread white, kinfolk.
Then we had the inter-mingling of the DNA's. These Kinfolk from my dad's side, the Spanish and Italian, the German and Cuban, the Moor's and Kinfolk-Of-Colour. My Relations, taught me that family was so very important. I was raised with this "blood-is-thicker-than-water" saying my whole life and thus I have always been a really big fan and my entire family was a big deal to me...
...until dad died.
Some of these "family" member's standing next to my dad's casket. Talked and spoke with split and cut tounges and were wairing racoon masks..."oh, what a mighty fine this and that", "Oh, he was always there or here". These supposed to be kinfolk didn't even know, "This Father Of Mine"! It was like looking at people speak through their rectum. Their ass holes had lips at my dad's funeral. It was a sight to be seen. This is also. when and where I caught two WOmen Kinfolk, speaking ill/talking shit, of my Dead Mother. No, I'll never ever forget this or them. It was like right then that one million light bulb's began to flick on...
...since dad's crossing, there's been seperate Sierra Family's. No, a better description are split Sierra Family's. It's probably better off for it be this way, for me anyway's This I suspect, has been something that I have permitted to affect and infect my Spirit's over the years. It held a heavy piece of depression in my Core for too many years. In so many way's, I can not even begin to describe, the way I really feel about these, My Kinfolk. Or is it becuase my skin is transparent?
And, now back to the weather...
These are some reasons why I live in Florida. As crazy as it may get, there's something extraordinary about Florida weather. And, by-the-way, I love it when these silly ass weather "persons", take the change in weather personally. As if they were the creator's of the rain, wind, and heat. Let me share with you the truth, Florida Meterologist are wannabe big time t.v. star's. These sometimes very foolish person's will apologize for God making Rain on your picnic day. Or make excuse as to why "it" was not noticed, (in this time and age) that winds and rains wash away entire villages and towns...
...if I was a wannabe, it would be for something much more grandeur than wearing a silly-tie-of-the-day and make predictions on the weather here in Florida.
While it is Great Spirit, has it all under control.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Meniere's, Mourning, and Me, Mario
I have tried to keep my hands, mind and self busy today. With simple tasks about the lodge and out of doors. Have done quite well with this, I think. Especially with a meniere's type of day, today has been...
...the dizziness has been as bad as a Merry-Go-Round nightmare, spinning fast and faster. So intence a piece in time that it was necessary for me to sit for a spell from fear of falling. I am experiancing a bit of a tipsey dizzy at the moment. Wearing it like a ball cap...
...nausea for what seems like all damned day! So much so, my throat is sore from this. Non-productive nausea.
Sweating off and on all day and am presently perspiring around my chest and am also wearing a cap wrapped about this skull of mine. This thick skull of mine. Sometimes I just don't know how it is I maintain. I don't.
My Deaf left ear has been picking up on some form of communications from else-where. There is a pecular sound that is difficult to describe. Almost like a roar of some unknown noise that rises and lowers in volume as it wishes. As if the implant is drawing energies from other sources. Ha! My right good bad ear is having a difficult day with the listening piece. I truly suspect that I am mourning daily the loss of hearing. It horrifies me. The moments of total silence are moments that are too much for me to share at the moment.
The scent of pine smoke drifts in and out by the motion of the wind. The atmosphere. As we sit or stand or walk or run, or sleep or awake. Earth Mother's alway's alive and spinning for us and we.
It seems to me that we/I sometimes wrap ourselves into these minute Orbs of energy and live our lives as if we are the center of our planet. What is paramount to us/we, is what we have spinning, clicking, and working in between our ears. Working, wanting to work, unable to work, all requires a lot of thought and contemplation. Our little lists that we maintain in one of the crevices of the brain and mind...
...say Hello to Mom even though she is dead, you say hello to your's if your Mom's alive. Now. Remember Dad or the In-Law's. Attend to the wife, husband, child, children, dog's and cat's and like today, feed and water our feathered cousins in the sancutary, and be with our Uncle Chester and Aunt Helen Turtle's for a few...
...who's preparing dinner? Is tonight pizza night? Did we say I love you to our Kinfolk? Did I say I Love You to Brenda this morning before she left for work. The car needs an oil change soon. Can't drive anymore. Need to purchase special door bell, special telephones and alarms for the one who is deaf and hard of hearing. So much is going on in our day-to-day's, we are so committed to doing that, that we forget the this or that. Rush. Quicker. Larger. No time for friends. No room for aunts, uncles, and cousins. I see these things that are here and know that it is similar over there with you and your Relations...
...but, can some of us please just STOP for a little bit and see what it is Mother Earth is saying to "you" or "us", or "we". Why is it that so many of us have forgotten to take care of Earth Mother. Really. We only get One Life on this wonderful planet of ours and My God, Earth Mother is as beautiful as the rising Sun, the setting Sun while in Key West...and it is up to us/we to take care of Mother Earth as if we would take care of our OWN, Mother.
Relations, were you aware that Our World, had just recently experianced the extinction of an awesomely huge and beautiful fellow Earth Mate. The African Western Black Rhino is now extinct...
...just like that, "poof" and this extraordinary creature is gone! Extinct! As in forever extinct! And all the press provides is a few paragraphs in this past Sunday's press. This has bothered me so much and so bad that not a day has gone by without this article in my mind and Spirit's. On the flip side of this article there is news that London cabs brace for Olympics. Really.
My Dearest Lord, what am I to do, but mourn the loss of yet another fellow Earth Mate? Today alone, thousands of acres of Rain Forest have been forever and ever cut down, for agriculture. Also for this I mourn. And pray daily. Please Great Spirit, Let Us See What We've Done To Our Earth Mother!
Listen, my Relations, I humbly ask that you remember to take care of yourselves and find time to love and protect our Earth Mom. It's really up to us/we to protect our wild life from extinction. Yes, this does carry weight in my Spirit's...
...in the grand scheme of things, we're all in this together. Whether you think so or not...that's just the way it is.
We've got the whole world in our hands...
...the dizziness has been as bad as a Merry-Go-Round nightmare, spinning fast and faster. So intence a piece in time that it was necessary for me to sit for a spell from fear of falling. I am experiancing a bit of a tipsey dizzy at the moment. Wearing it like a ball cap...
...nausea for what seems like all damned day! So much so, my throat is sore from this. Non-productive nausea.
Sweating off and on all day and am presently perspiring around my chest and am also wearing a cap wrapped about this skull of mine. This thick skull of mine. Sometimes I just don't know how it is I maintain. I don't.
My Deaf left ear has been picking up on some form of communications from else-where. There is a pecular sound that is difficult to describe. Almost like a roar of some unknown noise that rises and lowers in volume as it wishes. As if the implant is drawing energies from other sources. Ha! My right good bad ear is having a difficult day with the listening piece. I truly suspect that I am mourning daily the loss of hearing. It horrifies me. The moments of total silence are moments that are too much for me to share at the moment.
The scent of pine smoke drifts in and out by the motion of the wind. The atmosphere. As we sit or stand or walk or run, or sleep or awake. Earth Mother's alway's alive and spinning for us and we.
It seems to me that we/I sometimes wrap ourselves into these minute Orbs of energy and live our lives as if we are the center of our planet. What is paramount to us/we, is what we have spinning, clicking, and working in between our ears. Working, wanting to work, unable to work, all requires a lot of thought and contemplation. Our little lists that we maintain in one of the crevices of the brain and mind...
...say Hello to Mom even though she is dead, you say hello to your's if your Mom's alive. Now. Remember Dad or the In-Law's. Attend to the wife, husband, child, children, dog's and cat's and like today, feed and water our feathered cousins in the sancutary, and be with our Uncle Chester and Aunt Helen Turtle's for a few...
...who's preparing dinner? Is tonight pizza night? Did we say I love you to our Kinfolk? Did I say I Love You to Brenda this morning before she left for work. The car needs an oil change soon. Can't drive anymore. Need to purchase special door bell, special telephones and alarms for the one who is deaf and hard of hearing. So much is going on in our day-to-day's, we are so committed to doing that, that we forget the this or that. Rush. Quicker. Larger. No time for friends. No room for aunts, uncles, and cousins. I see these things that are here and know that it is similar over there with you and your Relations...
...but, can some of us please just STOP for a little bit and see what it is Mother Earth is saying to "you" or "us", or "we". Why is it that so many of us have forgotten to take care of Earth Mother. Really. We only get One Life on this wonderful planet of ours and My God, Earth Mother is as beautiful as the rising Sun, the setting Sun while in Key West...and it is up to us/we to take care of Mother Earth as if we would take care of our OWN, Mother.
Relations, were you aware that Our World, had just recently experianced the extinction of an awesomely huge and beautiful fellow Earth Mate. The African Western Black Rhino is now extinct...
...just like that, "poof" and this extraordinary creature is gone! Extinct! As in forever extinct! And all the press provides is a few paragraphs in this past Sunday's press. This has bothered me so much and so bad that not a day has gone by without this article in my mind and Spirit's. On the flip side of this article there is news that London cabs brace for Olympics. Really.
My Dearest Lord, what am I to do, but mourn the loss of yet another fellow Earth Mate? Today alone, thousands of acres of Rain Forest have been forever and ever cut down, for agriculture. Also for this I mourn. And pray daily. Please Great Spirit, Let Us See What We've Done To Our Earth Mother!
Listen, my Relations, I humbly ask that you remember to take care of yourselves and find time to love and protect our Earth Mom. It's really up to us/we to protect our wild life from extinction. Yes, this does carry weight in my Spirit's...
...in the grand scheme of things, we're all in this together. Whether you think so or not...that's just the way it is.
We've got the whole world in our hands...
Thursday, November 17, 2011
My Bedside Table + One More Book. Yes, I Know Already!
Greetings Relations!
Yes, I have gone and done it again. I have introduced yet another book to the books I am presently reading and or are collecting dust on my bedside table awaiting my return...
...and oh yes, I will return to the unfinished one's soon. As soon as I am finsihed with these two and really try to give it a go to stop passing by book stores...
...as some Folks, are unable to pass chocolates shops - there is a magnet with-in me that will insist I stop by, even if but for a look and see. Right. Relations, please. I have never exited a book store with out "something" in mind or on my person! Even if but a book mark or a journal. A bag will be in hand.
Anyway's, my daughter and I stopped by the Old Tampa Book Company, in Down Town Tampa after a lunch we had post doctor appointment. It's a wonderful book store that has been in our City of Tampa for years and decades.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown are the proprietors of this fine establishment. This couple has been together for ever and I have truly enjoyed observing their inter-actions over the years. With themselves, their employees, as well as with us their customers. The Brown's, are two of the kindest and most respectable Folks in my Circle. I have never seen Mrs. Brown without a smile on her beautiful face or she never too busy to share a moment. I have seen Mr. Brown, conduct business before and when he does, it's as if his entire focus is on the subject in front of him. So cunning. Sharp as a needle too. Other than what he is considering, all other business is left to Mrs. Brown to take care of.
The store is immaculately clean and has never smelled offensive. There has alway's been the music of Beethoven, Bach, or Mozart, "always" Classical music playing just audible enough over the speakers. If I'm not mistaking, I may have heard USF radio in there before too.
I have been shopping here at the Old Tampa Book Company for approximately twenty two years and never once had a bad shopping experiance. Never once...
...rather like me never once leaving the Old Tampa Book Company, empty handed.
I cherish this tiny little shop of books. Some that are ancient, some that are new, some gently used and I would dare say every subject imaginable. Which, most importantly for me, always has a fine selection and collection of Native American books for me to choose from. Some even with autographs from the author. I call these Easter Eggs. True? Especially when I see on my receipt that Mrs. or Mr. Brown, has offered me the gift of a fine discount. As if I were Kinship to them...
...I love them both.
The book I purchased is a first edition of Mr. Larry McMurtry's, "OH WHAT A SLAUGHTER, MASSACRES IN THE AMERICAN WEST: 1846 - 1890". This was an instant draw to me becuase I wanted to read how Mr. McMurtry, was going to discuss Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Red Cloud and Wounded Knee. In my center, I felt the words were writen well and with respect. I read more of the "what if's" in this book than before. Am just about done with this particular one by Mr. McMurtry. Have also read his book, "Crazy Horse", which was an excellent read...
...as soon as this one is completed I will return to "Custer Died For Your Sins, An Indian Manifesto". What a damned good book this one has turned out to be. Absolutely brilliant!
Reading for me in this place and time, is a form of therapy that occupys space and time...
...and is educational as well, which is just so bonus. I so very truly enjoy reading and writing. Who knows?
Maybe someday...
Yes, I have gone and done it again. I have introduced yet another book to the books I am presently reading and or are collecting dust on my bedside table awaiting my return...
...and oh yes, I will return to the unfinished one's soon. As soon as I am finsihed with these two and really try to give it a go to stop passing by book stores...
...as some Folks, are unable to pass chocolates shops - there is a magnet with-in me that will insist I stop by, even if but for a look and see. Right. Relations, please. I have never exited a book store with out "something" in mind or on my person! Even if but a book mark or a journal. A bag will be in hand.
Anyway's, my daughter and I stopped by the Old Tampa Book Company, in Down Town Tampa after a lunch we had post doctor appointment. It's a wonderful book store that has been in our City of Tampa for years and decades.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown are the proprietors of this fine establishment. This couple has been together for ever and I have truly enjoyed observing their inter-actions over the years. With themselves, their employees, as well as with us their customers. The Brown's, are two of the kindest and most respectable Folks in my Circle. I have never seen Mrs. Brown without a smile on her beautiful face or she never too busy to share a moment. I have seen Mr. Brown, conduct business before and when he does, it's as if his entire focus is on the subject in front of him. So cunning. Sharp as a needle too. Other than what he is considering, all other business is left to Mrs. Brown to take care of.
The store is immaculately clean and has never smelled offensive. There has alway's been the music of Beethoven, Bach, or Mozart, "always" Classical music playing just audible enough over the speakers. If I'm not mistaking, I may have heard USF radio in there before too.
I have been shopping here at the Old Tampa Book Company for approximately twenty two years and never once had a bad shopping experiance. Never once...
...rather like me never once leaving the Old Tampa Book Company, empty handed.
I cherish this tiny little shop of books. Some that are ancient, some that are new, some gently used and I would dare say every subject imaginable. Which, most importantly for me, always has a fine selection and collection of Native American books for me to choose from. Some even with autographs from the author. I call these Easter Eggs. True? Especially when I see on my receipt that Mrs. or Mr. Brown, has offered me the gift of a fine discount. As if I were Kinship to them...
...I love them both.
The book I purchased is a first edition of Mr. Larry McMurtry's, "OH WHAT A SLAUGHTER, MASSACRES IN THE AMERICAN WEST: 1846 - 1890". This was an instant draw to me becuase I wanted to read how Mr. McMurtry, was going to discuss Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Red Cloud and Wounded Knee. In my center, I felt the words were writen well and with respect. I read more of the "what if's" in this book than before. Am just about done with this particular one by Mr. McMurtry. Have also read his book, "Crazy Horse", which was an excellent read...
...as soon as this one is completed I will return to "Custer Died For Your Sins, An Indian Manifesto". What a damned good book this one has turned out to be. Absolutely brilliant!
Reading for me in this place and time, is a form of therapy that occupys space and time...
...and is educational as well, which is just so bonus. I so very truly enjoy reading and writing. Who knows?
Maybe someday...
Later, A Visit With Sir Dude, My Therapist
Good Afternoon to all Relations!
In a short three hours I will be sitting and most hopefully seated in my most favorite big puffy comfy chair in the world. Sitting across from my therapist and confidant, Sir Dude. A day will come when I will be comfortable enough to share his name, but for now I am happy with his special name. The "Top Secret" name. Hell, he's a special therapist and I don't know too many folks who actually know his name. I think for now, this is good. I really don't want to share him anyway's.
Today, I will share tea during our gathering and will ensure the right good gentleman does not begin to have this..."duuuude, I'm about to fall asleep look on his face". Because I say this now, I will scream as loud as I can to awaken him and to stir the entire practice into a buzzing bunch of bee's...
...what? You don't know? Well, apparently neither does Sir Dude, because I will hollar as if calling the cows and pigs home to feed. Look, I'm just saying. I understand he may have grown exhausted from the yackity-yack-yack of his other patients, but I'm just not the One. Ya know? There's still too much in hand, too much in the brain/mind that I combat with every damned day. Yes, we will celebrate the going's on yesterday with He-Who-Touched-My-Undercarriage, but damn, I have the remainder of this Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket full of shit inside of me that I must continue to chip away at.
At this moment in time, this is an important piece and part of my job. True? True. Right then.
Maybe a cup of tea with some gusto, so as to get him proper good and at attention. I ask you now, Great Spirit, please do not let the fellow fall asleep on me...
...folks, will be dialing up the 911. Thinking "oh shit, Mr. Sierra's done lost it now you all!". Relations, the 911 over here is the Emergency Response number to call for when a person or patient has lost their flippin' mind. Besides all other types of emergencies. Green? Alright? OK?
I won't and don't think I need to make an itemized list of issues and or problems at this very minute. For my Relations who read these words, you know what I deal with. My plate remains full and at times spills over. I deal with whatever issues suface, do my best to combat it, deal with it and move on. All of the where. what and when it resurfaces, is on a case by case. I deal with it then and again. No matter what the "it" may be...
...the "it" smells like shit sometimes. I tell you no lie. Like Cow Shit!
Wait! Let me Share this. I have this Circle of family and friends, who love to share their thoughts about how good I look and how they're so happy for me. Please, don't say anything to anyone about what I'm about to say, but there are times when I really have this want and or need to say and or scream, "What in the hell?". Naw Boo, it's more like "what the fuck"? Really? I mean. I do love the compliments, please, who doesn't? But please, and I do say this kindly, please don't go diagnosing me with your diagnoses...
...and remember this. As I stated earlier, this is my job. To have positive energies and vibe's about me and if I insist on keeping my chin up, it is part of my Policy and Procedures. For the most part I do a pretty damned good show about it. But please, don't ever say you're happy for me, because you do not have the slightest clue what it is that lies beneath the surface of my skin, this fat and muscles and bones...
...or even and especially, what it is that is going on in this deeply complicated mind of mine. No. Be here or be there for me. Love me. Hug me. Feed me. Speak with me, but no, don't.
Now, on the flip side of this is if One says they're happy to see me, then we're on a whole damned different field and ball park. Because Sweetie Pie, if you're happy to see me, I sure as hell am probably happy to see you! And, oh, we'll have some chit-chat and maybe speak about this and that. Maybe have some tea, or Coca Cola or Pepsi, water, or a Red Stripe. But, as my sweetest bride has told me, ovah and ovah, I am like a Hen in a Hen House Honey, because once the motor get's turned on - we will talk and chit-chat. Huh? Okay then, I thought you knew.
So please, Relations, do keep in touch and I'll keep you in the loop. We just won't play Doctor. Okay? And whenever you're ready to call or stop by for a talk................"Holla"!
To All Relations, Love, Peace and More Peace...
In a short three hours I will be sitting and most hopefully seated in my most favorite big puffy comfy chair in the world. Sitting across from my therapist and confidant, Sir Dude. A day will come when I will be comfortable enough to share his name, but for now I am happy with his special name. The "Top Secret" name. Hell, he's a special therapist and I don't know too many folks who actually know his name. I think for now, this is good. I really don't want to share him anyway's.
Today, I will share tea during our gathering and will ensure the right good gentleman does not begin to have this..."duuuude, I'm about to fall asleep look on his face". Because I say this now, I will scream as loud as I can to awaken him and to stir the entire practice into a buzzing bunch of bee's...
...what? You don't know? Well, apparently neither does Sir Dude, because I will hollar as if calling the cows and pigs home to feed. Look, I'm just saying. I understand he may have grown exhausted from the yackity-yack-yack of his other patients, but I'm just not the One. Ya know? There's still too much in hand, too much in the brain/mind that I combat with every damned day. Yes, we will celebrate the going's on yesterday with He-Who-Touched-My-Undercarriage, but damn, I have the remainder of this Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket full of shit inside of me that I must continue to chip away at.
At this moment in time, this is an important piece and part of my job. True? True. Right then.
Maybe a cup of tea with some gusto, so as to get him proper good and at attention. I ask you now, Great Spirit, please do not let the fellow fall asleep on me...
...folks, will be dialing up the 911. Thinking "oh shit, Mr. Sierra's done lost it now you all!". Relations, the 911 over here is the Emergency Response number to call for when a person or patient has lost their flippin' mind. Besides all other types of emergencies. Green? Alright? OK?
I won't and don't think I need to make an itemized list of issues and or problems at this very minute. For my Relations who read these words, you know what I deal with. My plate remains full and at times spills over. I deal with whatever issues suface, do my best to combat it, deal with it and move on. All of the where. what and when it resurfaces, is on a case by case. I deal with it then and again. No matter what the "it" may be...
...the "it" smells like shit sometimes. I tell you no lie. Like Cow Shit!
Wait! Let me Share this. I have this Circle of family and friends, who love to share their thoughts about how good I look and how they're so happy for me. Please, don't say anything to anyone about what I'm about to say, but there are times when I really have this want and or need to say and or scream, "What in the hell?". Naw Boo, it's more like "what the fuck"? Really? I mean. I do love the compliments, please, who doesn't? But please, and I do say this kindly, please don't go diagnosing me with your diagnoses...
...and remember this. As I stated earlier, this is my job. To have positive energies and vibe's about me and if I insist on keeping my chin up, it is part of my Policy and Procedures. For the most part I do a pretty damned good show about it. But please, don't ever say you're happy for me, because you do not have the slightest clue what it is that lies beneath the surface of my skin, this fat and muscles and bones...
...or even and especially, what it is that is going on in this deeply complicated mind of mine. No. Be here or be there for me. Love me. Hug me. Feed me. Speak with me, but no, don't.
Now, on the flip side of this is if One says they're happy to see me, then we're on a whole damned different field and ball park. Because Sweetie Pie, if you're happy to see me, I sure as hell am probably happy to see you! And, oh, we'll have some chit-chat and maybe speak about this and that. Maybe have some tea, or Coca Cola or Pepsi, water, or a Red Stripe. But, as my sweetest bride has told me, ovah and ovah, I am like a Hen in a Hen House Honey, because once the motor get's turned on - we will talk and chit-chat. Huh? Okay then, I thought you knew.
So please, Relations, do keep in touch and I'll keep you in the loop. We just won't play Doctor. Okay? And whenever you're ready to call or stop by for a talk................"Holla"!
To All Relations, Love, Peace and More Peace...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
An Execution Completed
The execution of the ******, who murdered the Mother and her two daughter's from Ohio, was offically rendered "dead" at 1627 yesterday.
There was a delay in the execution and no reasons have come to the news and or press...
...it did not matter to me. As long as ******, was "put to sleep" and pronounced dead.
There usually is a large crowd of protestors out-side of the Florida State Pen...
...not yesterday. A very few and not even the *******, family or Kinfolk came to "see" him off.
I am not ordinarily the type of fellow who is "for" the Death Penalty...
...in case's such as this one, for me, this is a no-brainer.
This bastard was supposed to be executed. But please, case's like this one need to be expedited and gotten over and done with. To know that our taxes are going to clothe, feed and provide health care to these evil doer's way beyond me...
...when there is nothing but stone cold evidence that an evil one has committed such terrible crimes, then that's when I say, "flip the switch!"
God Bless the family of the victims. A cousin and the husband and father of the victims flew down from Ohio.
Um, I would have been cheering and rooting..."flip that switch!", "flip that switch!", as if I was at a baseball game cheering...
...over and over. Until, that *******, did not take one more breathe.
Not even an eye to twitch...
There was a delay in the execution and no reasons have come to the news and or press...
...it did not matter to me. As long as ******, was "put to sleep" and pronounced dead.
There usually is a large crowd of protestors out-side of the Florida State Pen...
...not yesterday. A very few and not even the *******, family or Kinfolk came to "see" him off.
I am not ordinarily the type of fellow who is "for" the Death Penalty...
...in case's such as this one, for me, this is a no-brainer.
This bastard was supposed to be executed. But please, case's like this one need to be expedited and gotten over and done with. To know that our taxes are going to clothe, feed and provide health care to these evil doer's way beyond me...
...when there is nothing but stone cold evidence that an evil one has committed such terrible crimes, then that's when I say, "flip the switch!"
God Bless the family of the victims. A cousin and the husband and father of the victims flew down from Ohio.
Um, I would have been cheering and rooting..."flip that switch!", "flip that switch!", as if I was at a baseball game cheering...
...over and over. Until, that *******, did not take one more breathe.
Not even an eye to twitch...
Meniere's On A Wednesday, C'est Mario, C'est La Vie...
...there very truly must be something special within this DNA. "This" wonderful Mixed Breed blood of mine...
...this something, that's forever urging me onward, talking it and trying like all Hell to walk it, ya see? It is a daily process with Meniere's, the asthma and the other odd's, ends and what-not's, but there is something alway's, something screaming PUSH! Dude, PUSH! Pray Until Something Happens! So I do.
Even in and with day's like today, when and where the Meniere's Disease, has had me gagging and nauseated since I awoke this morning. I got up this morning anyways to keep my appointment with my Doctor. The dizziness feels like a light-headed and airy dizziness. The type for me that reminds me of when I have traveled onto higher ground. Like mountain top's. But I continue to tip-tap and do my best to Share some of me with you.
Today, I have held on to my quad cane with white knuckles and walked with a purpose, fore if not, I would have been the human bumper car dude yet again. Perhaps even take a fall. I mean, I have scratches, bruises and scar's from where I have "just" upped and walked or have fallen into/against/upon, chairs, coffee table, book cases, especially the walls that seem to move into my way. The floor under my feet is an unforgiving floor and or ground. all of which gets really-really old.
My Deaf Left Ear is is picking up a faint peck at the Morris Code this afternoon. On occasion the tick-tickity-tick-tick or the beep-beeeeeeeep-beeping increases in volume and quantity. I have heard two codes going on simultaneously today. Which is something I had not picked up on as far as I can remember. My Right Hard of Hearing ear is having a tough day at listening today. Heck, even with my implant in place it has been an unsatisfactory day for hearing. Since 11.11.11, there has been an incredable increase in sudden total "blackout". No hearing, as in total deafness. Seem's, mainly in the late of night that this comes about, now that I think about it. But this has happened day and night...
...the Right-Good-Bad-Ear, continues to plop and ploop and pop. Have had experiances when I have heard a very loud POP, that I react all goofy-fied, jumping and screaming, what the hell? No, no one else hears what I hear. 98% of the time anyway, anyhow. Look, and okay, it is funny sometimes, but I be damned. Know what I mean? Alright then.
The Worms have continued to whoop and holler, but have moved from my face. Which for me, was a major deal. Imagine.....
Enough. Did not want to drift off into another arena of my woe's and illness's...
...this tip-tapping goes out to one and all who have prayed for me, them who have meditated or have even contemplated healthy energies my way, I am forever indebted. Thank you, from my Spirit's to your's, I thank you all.
As I am grateful and thankful, to My One God! Oh, My Great God!
Now, let me go fetch John and give him a good bathe and brush. Soon as I get over these post-vertigo attack shit's, I think I just may jump up on him and give us a mighty grand time.
Life...
...this something, that's forever urging me onward, talking it and trying like all Hell to walk it, ya see? It is a daily process with Meniere's, the asthma and the other odd's, ends and what-not's, but there is something alway's, something screaming PUSH! Dude, PUSH! Pray Until Something Happens! So I do.
Even in and with day's like today, when and where the Meniere's Disease, has had me gagging and nauseated since I awoke this morning. I got up this morning anyways to keep my appointment with my Doctor. The dizziness feels like a light-headed and airy dizziness. The type for me that reminds me of when I have traveled onto higher ground. Like mountain top's. But I continue to tip-tap and do my best to Share some of me with you.
Today, I have held on to my quad cane with white knuckles and walked with a purpose, fore if not, I would have been the human bumper car dude yet again. Perhaps even take a fall. I mean, I have scratches, bruises and scar's from where I have "just" upped and walked or have fallen into/against/upon, chairs, coffee table, book cases, especially the walls that seem to move into my way. The floor under my feet is an unforgiving floor and or ground. all of which gets really-really old.
My Deaf Left Ear is is picking up a faint peck at the Morris Code this afternoon. On occasion the tick-tickity-tick-tick or the beep-beeeeeeeep-beeping increases in volume and quantity. I have heard two codes going on simultaneously today. Which is something I had not picked up on as far as I can remember. My Right Hard of Hearing ear is having a tough day at listening today. Heck, even with my implant in place it has been an unsatisfactory day for hearing. Since 11.11.11, there has been an incredable increase in sudden total "blackout". No hearing, as in total deafness. Seem's, mainly in the late of night that this comes about, now that I think about it. But this has happened day and night...
...the Right-Good-Bad-Ear, continues to plop and ploop and pop. Have had experiances when I have heard a very loud POP, that I react all goofy-fied, jumping and screaming, what the hell? No, no one else hears what I hear. 98% of the time anyway, anyhow. Look, and okay, it is funny sometimes, but I be damned. Know what I mean? Alright then.
The Worms have continued to whoop and holler, but have moved from my face. Which for me, was a major deal. Imagine.....
Enough. Did not want to drift off into another arena of my woe's and illness's...
...this tip-tapping goes out to one and all who have prayed for me, them who have meditated or have even contemplated healthy energies my way, I am forever indebted. Thank you, from my Spirit's to your's, I thank you all.
As I am grateful and thankful, to My One God! Oh, My Great God!
Now, let me go fetch John and give him a good bathe and brush. Soon as I get over these post-vertigo attack shit's, I think I just may jump up on him and give us a mighty grand time.
Life...
A Visit With He-Who-Touched-My-Undercarriage
Relations, it is with a grateful and thankful heart that I am able to report to you that all procedures, laboratory work, and tests have come back, "thumbs up excellent!"! One Thousand YES'S!
He-Who-Touched-My-Undercarriage, informed Brenda and I, of minor swelling of prostrate and as I reported before an enlarged bladder. And, oh yes, I continue to work on the every two hour pass-the-pee-process. He spoke of a very low level on a PSA, informed Brenda and I that I have the business of peeing and innards better than a twenty year old! I mean really! Me? I want to say hello? Just once, and then - Doctor was in such a celebratory state and kept giving us the thumbs up and wink-winked a couple of times in my general direction. I mean, I knew there wasn't anybody behind us because we were in an enclosed area...
...but wink-winked, I'll tell you...
...I know he was being out right celebratory for me and for us! Which really made me feel so instantly relieved and better at ease with the whole Touching-Of-My-Undercarriage and stuff's. The next time I visit Doctor, is in three months. When I go to pass (pee) water into a beaker and have tests run and done on that. No more rectal probes, no more wiggly fingers, no more touching's of the junk and such and such.
Saying yes, I am happy is an understatement. There is a sensation in my Spirit's that seems to have been touched by Great Spirit. Or One of His Warrior Angels, sent my way to ensure all is good in these innards. Overjoyed is so very much closer to the way I feel at this moment. A Blessed One and a very, very Thankful One. Yes!
And now for something not too different...
...The Business of Establishing a Better State of Good Health continues and has had a wonderfully brilliant step forward. My Good God, I am able to let this loose now. Which creates more space between my ear's to concentrate on the urgent state of health, NOW! And to have the emotional and psychological related issues as an entire package.
I am eager, excited and motivated, all meshed into a One. My Heart, my Spirit's. You see?
Please, then, let me Thank You All. The All of my Relations who have prayed, meditated or contemplated your positive energies, love and hopes for good health my way. I am indebted to you all - One-and-All, I thank you. From my Heart to Your Heart. From my Spirit's to Your Spirit's.
I am also knowing that there are real road blocks ahead of me on this, My Path, but I am committed and compelled to push onward. It's as if there is a natural perpetual fountain of energies that flow through my every DNA...
He-Who-Touched-My-Undercarriage, informed Brenda and I, of minor swelling of prostrate and as I reported before an enlarged bladder. And, oh yes, I continue to work on the every two hour pass-the-pee-process. He spoke of a very low level on a PSA, informed Brenda and I that I have the business of peeing and innards better than a twenty year old! I mean really! Me? I want to say hello? Just once, and then - Doctor was in such a celebratory state and kept giving us the thumbs up and wink-winked a couple of times in my general direction. I mean, I knew there wasn't anybody behind us because we were in an enclosed area...
...but wink-winked, I'll tell you...
...I know he was being out right celebratory for me and for us! Which really made me feel so instantly relieved and better at ease with the whole Touching-Of-My-Undercarriage and stuff's. The next time I visit Doctor, is in three months. When I go to pass (pee) water into a beaker and have tests run and done on that. No more rectal probes, no more wiggly fingers, no more touching's of the junk and such and such.
Saying yes, I am happy is an understatement. There is a sensation in my Spirit's that seems to have been touched by Great Spirit. Or One of His Warrior Angels, sent my way to ensure all is good in these innards. Overjoyed is so very much closer to the way I feel at this moment. A Blessed One and a very, very Thankful One. Yes!
And now for something not too different...
...The Business of Establishing a Better State of Good Health continues and has had a wonderfully brilliant step forward. My Good God, I am able to let this loose now. Which creates more space between my ear's to concentrate on the urgent state of health, NOW! And to have the emotional and psychological related issues as an entire package.
I am eager, excited and motivated, all meshed into a One. My Heart, my Spirit's. You see?
Please, then, let me Thank You All. The All of my Relations who have prayed, meditated or contemplated your positive energies, love and hopes for good health my way. I am indebted to you all - One-and-All, I thank you. From my Heart to Your Heart. From my Spirit's to Your Spirit's.
I am also knowing that there are real road blocks ahead of me on this, My Path, but I am committed and compelled to push onward. It's as if there is a natural perpetual fountain of energies that flow through my every DNA...
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