Crying and Knowing...it's getting kind of hectic...

To put things into total perspective, I am a breathe away...

I have begun my new anti-medication tonight. Time will tell.

What took place here in my safe place tonight, places me in a position to push myself that much more...

...I will not be told by anyone ONE/PERSON to give up and accept that I am handicapped and will not add up to anything. That I must accept I will not get better...that I will NEVER be able to return to work. That no matter how much I hope, wish or pray - I will NEVER be able to do what I must do as fuctional man and citizen in/of my community.

I've NEVER FUCKEN quit!!! Not since childhood!!! I mean really!!! I have fought this stupied ass disease for three years and have not given up hope!! I am a survivor!! I am a Warrior!! I push forward and push forward everyday!! That's what keeps me going!!! My HOPE, my FAITH, my PRAYERS, are what keep me GOING!!! My BELIEF in my GREAT SPIRIT!!! I can not give up!!...to become a statistic, a number, another SS #!! I can not entertain the concept of my being a goverment kid/man...as if I were to be relegated to a reservastion for people with these types of handicap. Get my little pay and get my little medications and live a little life...

Plase, JUST DON"T PUT me with the other mutes, gimps, deaf, dumb, blind folks that YOU SAY I AM!!!. Please, just don't!!!

Wishing I could run on My Path!!!
Mario

p.s. It is hectic and crucial. I am not knowing right now where to take the next step! I'll begin by taking the next one...