Hello and Welcome Kindred Ones,
This evening, I am eager and am appreciative of your visit, as I prepare for sharing multiple situations going on in my day to day life style. I feel as if I must and have too, as I feel that I must some how get myself back into a relationship Kin Folk, get back in touch with my computer and reunite with my blog here, "Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path". Time comes and goes. Like I have had family and friends come and go. I have attack after attack of Meniere's Disease, it's symptoms, and consequences. I deal with and attempt to adjust to every symptom of this damned Meniere's Disease. Meniere's Disease, is so damned much more than the name of who established there was this disease of the inner ears, My God, Meniere's is a life altering, invisible disease that takes a hold of my life like a wash cloth and wrings me out often. These symptoms I have spoken of and what I have shared of what is happening with me and every part of my body, mind and life. Over the past couple years or so, my eye balls wiggle-wiggle sometimes. I have shared this with doctor, he has informed me it is part of the Meniere's. I know very well my vision is going worse and i am afraid. I know damned well, there will soon be an eye doctor picking and probing my eye orbs before long. Just as sure as I believe my mind and spirits are prepared to hear my doctor say to me again that my vision issues are Meniere's Disease related. My eye orbs tell me this. And this dizzy spell I have been dealing with since afternoon is driving me mad.
My therapist, Sir. Dude and I, had an awesome session this past Monday, the 17th of February. He had an excellent idea of what we would be speaking of, because I have been keeping seriously in touch with him since Monday the tenth day of February. There may have been an additional piece or two of news, but my therapist was prepared. I did spend a good fifty percent of my time in session, I consider that was time well spent. I think Sir. Dude did too. He just let me go.
Wait! Wait, I have a new symptom to report. One that I have not shared with any of my doctors, but will do so come this Monday coming. Last night as I laid in bed waiting for my dear wife to complete her shower I heard a loud cicada paying it no mind at first, but then this cicada got louder and louder. I was listening to this sound with my right ear and for several minutes truly thought this insect was out side my window. I shook my head back and forth and it was getting so loud it began to hurt. Folks, this sound became so loud that it became unbearable. The very loud sound of the cicada got worse and I closed my right hard of hearing ear with my finger, to no avail. The sound of this cicada was coming from within my right hard of hearing ear. Oh, My God, it was so loud. I honestly can not explain or express what it was I experienced, it was that much an anomaly. Never, ever had I had this happen before and oh please, never again.
Tonight, as I sit here, in our air conditioned, cool lodge, my deaf left ear is sending out urgent Mores Code messages. Clear as day with a series of beeps after series of beeps, again and again, and in steady cadence. I hear them and can clearly listen to the way the sender would tap-tap-tap-tap on the ancient piece of telecommunications. It was ten days ago, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, injected steroids into this right ear of mine.
This ten days has had me having to take things very seriously, like a manager calling in his Team from the field, it was absolutely necessary I take inventory and take nothing for granted. My Business, has always been about My Teams, my team mates and my very own "Better Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Health Plan", is my business for real. I realize I must take things seriously and I convey to each member of my team every decision I make. These are my Team Mate. These are the very Folk who work so hard for my health and my life! Everything that happens to me, every procedure and every pill and every injection, sticks to my patient history. What and when it comes to my Patient History and Physical, all data that is attached is to represent me and be thorough with every thing the professional documents and is expected to document clear as crystal, perfect in every medical environment and inspection. Considering I have been ill for such a lengthy amount of time, and times which included different illnesses with different approaches as the times have had it and the surgery's that come and go. It is with every respect of the word focused, and it is even more so necessary for me to become fully focused on my present state of health. I am humbled by them on my taems and wish to thank every one of them.
As a patient and as a real fellow Earth Mate, I adjust and am ever adjusting my ways, my being me, Mario. Every time my path is in need of an adjustment, I know who to call and or where to go. My One God and I, are prepared to open myself up raw, to let loose energies that have been imposed and inflected upon me by others. I sit here with my mind and heart symbolically wide opened for all to see and or read. I am very truly prepared to share where I am at, at this point of my life and time's. The energy is good tonight. The time of night even seems and feels right. The rains continue and come and go as the sky has shed tears all day long. I spoke and I speak with my God here. This is where I stand atop the tallest mountain in my mind and scream at the top of my voice when I am at me wits end. When I scream out for real, I scream out loud but no and no one hears me. Though there are times when I do scream cry into my pillow. I forgot. So now, I scream silently out loud to Jesus when I say my prayers to my God. Sometimes when I speak with God, it's just like when I speak with you Jimmy, or I say prayers anytime and anyplace I wish to say my prayers. I believe it is in the blood, my mixed blooded ways. I have learned many ways to speak with my God. I learned to listen long time ago but forget to remember sometimes. I have even talked over the telephone with my God. I say, please give it a try it. It's very Catholic. It's very cathartic. Over my many years, I have learned to follow the season's and have respect for each season as it comes and goes. It is much easier than getting all worked up and anxious about a date, or next year or next month I let the seasons come and go now, it's the seasons that have taught me to talk and listen to the birds and the wind. I think that sometimes, them are more important than the words of people talk.
Today, I am here, alive and am blessed. My wife is in our nest and I know that all three hounds are there with her. I have learned that Botswana is much more than a wife or bride to me any more. She's really the very most important thing in my life. The love I have for her is something that is God sent, and I was blessed to marry such a strong bull headed Woman. My Dear Great One, I just don't know what I would do with out her in my life. We've grown up together, oh my dear sweetest bride! How I love you! Sitting right here at one of my safe places, I feel as if I am inside a big invisible cube with Great Spirit here with me. I see myself sitting here, many of those who passed before me are here with me and I am fine. You see Folks, I am here today and in a very special space for me. I feel liberated and feel as if God, has let me test drive a pair of wings. I'm in a place of major life altering and living, and I am in a steady flux. Such flux it surrounds me, and I'm not scared to be here speaking and connecting with my readers. Great Spirit's Voice is here near, and I am the fortunate one to be in such a fortuitous flow of flux. Where it is an abundance of blessings have been brought to me via God's Will. I know this you see?
There is pain that has established itself on my scalp and skull behind my right hard of hearing ear and the surrounding area outwards about two or three inches in diameter. If I had a magic marker I could draw a circle around this area where the pains are so bad sometimes it feels as if I have been beaned by a softball pitch and severely bruised. All other times this area is bruised in a feeling. I have gotten strong gripping pain behind my ear here. The type of pain that makes life and I stop whatever it is I am doing. The type of pain that stops me in the super market type pain. It has happened before while out. What can I do, my friend? I just stand there and try so hard to not look as if I am in pain. I don't want to trouble any one person. This is the ear hole that I received the procedure of injection of steroids. It is so hard to share that the injection was for not.
At this instance, there are pains in my neck and scalp that are hurting me at a very strong seven, very close to an eight. This is the same pain that has wakened me at night from a deep sleep. Kind One, I have taken my pills, my medicine as prescribed, and ordered, and I remain in pain. I bashed myself in the head leaving my lavatory last night and I also fell over forward this morning while lifting myself up from a sitting position. Folks, that damned sudden fear of falling takes my breathe away! It's so very much like tiny little heart attacks each and every time I tumble, trip and or fall.
I will stop. There are other communiques that await my visual. So I say Caio, caio, for now.
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