A Talk, My Temporary Last Will, And Moffitt Called

My Dearest Guest and Reader's,

There have been many twists in my life of bizarre health stomping these past two weeks plus two days. One on each side of this two week span of life happening. I have lived them every one, day by day and with as much motivation and letting go of rubbish as much as possible, at times with the controls of my Mother Ship in my hands, while other times I let go and let God. I know. Yes, I do know, but for now and again, please, I feel it my responsibility to be this involved with my Health Care at this time and at this time I am very okay with it. So then, I present some information to all live and in person, right now, on this 27th of February 201, I request permission to speak Ma'am...

... since Monday, 10 February, I have had two appointments with my professor, She-With-Many-Names at Tampa General Hospital with the University of South Florida in study. It was here too much sad drama happened on 10 Feb., here where I made amends, asked for forgiveness, and am back on an awesome path with She-With-Many-Names. It was here on the 20th day, I received a Botox procedure, and my dearest Kindred and Kin Folks, I had five syringes full of a mixture of Botox and other medicines. At 50 cc per syringe, I expected minor inconvenience and some fun while my dearest doctor injected and shot me all about my upper body, skull and scalp. All of which was included, blessings in our hearts and happiness on our faces. On the 11th of Feb., I had an appointment with my special audiologist Dr. Blanch, who is an absolute definition of what a true Audiologist is all about. I then had a fantastic face to face appointment with my Right Good Doctor He-Who-Touched-My-Brain. It was on then, my right good doctor injected my good-bad right ear hole/chamber and all with a syringe full of steroids and other medication. I've had two sessions with Sir Dude, my therapist, who I just so happen to have a gathering with today. Yes, I do look forward to our gathering. Please, I am a step from thinking I really need a visit with him. Seems as if the last visit was so long ago and then yet, we're averaging one visit per week then. These are good numbers and okay, these I felt have been necessary visits and sessions. It was just yesterday that I had my first appointment with my new doctor and more team members at Moffitt. Oh my, I am impressed with Moffitt Cancer Center. This is some business.

Relations, you see, I am one of many people who fell because of this Meniere's Disease. I have slid and I have slipped and I have fallen on this life time. Figuratively speaking as well as in fact with those descriptions. These and every incident of me falling looks to me as it has been captured live on-the-cameras called my eye orbs. This camera, figuratively speaking, lives in my skull and these video of my stuff was posted by an anonymous one and then one video got posted and then all of the videos went totally viral. You know, I'm not mad, right? This is me watching and witnessing my life from the outside looking in over and over and over again and this has all been so harsh. For so long. Yes, life happens and things happens in all my lives. So I get knocked down and I get up again. I get knocked down then I get up again. Etcetera, right?

Very recently, too many words were said around me that involved important folk in my life. These words were raw, and opened a dam of emotions that touched me to the core. Nerves got exposed, and you see, tough words plus emotions equal hard times in my life's simple journey. I quietly share that sometimes I withdraw and resort to old surviving mechanisms. Oh sure, I do. I look at the wide screen picture of things in life and what I might have to consider in life and my health is absolutely top priority. True also on how I might make a decision on how I could respond in word or not to any one incident or person. What I take note of here, was not me and or my words, but words of others and how this affected me in such harsh and negative ways. Since then, yes, good words have been spoken and in my heart and spirit's all is good. In life and on My Path, I would rather be kind, with all Folks all the time, but this is sometimes the kind of being that is not where I am at a particular time or place. It is not what is uttered by others, but their approach to me as a fellow human with boundaries that establishes the potential of a gathering of mind and spirit's. I am Deaf and Hard Of Hearing fellow. I do my absolute best to create an environment around me that is as peaceful and loving as possible. One thing that really hurts my emotions is how people assume shit. If one has a question, ask. It's so simple. I compose this communique to speak and share information above, which really is just a bit of sharing of life, and I proclaim that all I want to do is get on the good foot with my health. In this life, even during the years that I was had incest forced on me, I was sexually abused and raped by friends and family, even during all of that shit - all I really wanted to do was have a good and healthy life and got between perpetrators and my brothers and sisters. I lived with this philosophy as a youth then and still do now, as an adult all of these very many years later.

Oddly enough, it seems that I remember so clearly what happened to me and my life while working my very best job ever - over at Starbucks Coffee Company. Crystal clear I remember how it was that Meniere's Disease, steadily and so slowly took that life and life style away from me and really not only me but my beautiful wife and my beautiful and honorable daughter's. Which for me, as a Dad, hits me the hardest. I have always felt and believed that even if it's but a sack or two of super market product, as their Paw, I have always wanted to be in the position to be of any aid to my grown baby's. All of that was me and my life, my path, and so very much else from my life - was changed forever. My lives were changed. My dreams dashed, and I as a person, a Human Form was changed. Forever and ever and for ever.

At this instant, please, I would simply like to make clear that as long as I am of good ways and sound state of mind, I will continue to coordinate treatment plans with my professors and doctor's. At this time I do not require a translator or interpreter, all of which in this matter translates to the meaning that "I will speak and talk for myself on every and any medical, emotional, or psychological change. In the case of an emergency - when it is I am unable to speak, then it is my bride of thirty four years who shall speak and talk for me. We have had our talks. This is to be so. Any change or altering will be made by me alone. Then, it is to be known that I do not wish to be kept alive by mechanisms or machines of any type. I do say, I do not want to suffocate by any means. I know what suffocating feels like, so please, keep my breathe going until my brain has died. At this time my brain will be sent to the University of Miami's Brain Endowment Center. The remaining organs may be harvested at the University of South Florida for immediate distribution. These instruction's are on my Identifications and are for the record. My bride is aware of such as well and will proceed with this direction for my remains. My Soul and My Spirit's, have been and will be instructed further on what to do once we have met this junction in life. I would love to take the trip as Great Spirit wishes.

At this point in my life, all I want and I'll swear that all I want in this life is to become a healthier person. A Healthier Man. I miss listening to my steps on Mother Earths surface, please know and understand I have a burning desire to get back to Cherokee, North Carolina, the place of our Moms and our Kin Folk, and them who came before her mother's mother. I dream, I meditate and deeply consider the very place I want to be able to return to and breathe, and eat of fresh buffalo, enjoy the company of familiar faces, and our happy places we visit for what was year after year driving up to our Smokey  Mountains. Walk bare feet on the very familiar paths. Those who came before us, created these Paths here on the earth of our Mother Earth. So rich and Red that it is as beautiful as a Florida Red Sun Set. Oh, My Heart and Spirit's! We wish to some day return, I require a Spiritual rebirth and transfusion that comes only from a fine walk about  the woodlands there. Saying hello to the Little People who live in the forest like we did many generations ago - though not too so many generations if I think so. Yes, Oh Great Father, Yes! Please, bring us home soon, please?

NOTE: At 1706, yesterday, 26 Feb., Moffitt Cancer Center's scheduling department called. My new doctor and my new team are not available for procedure until 18 April 2014. I have been placed on an expedite list, per my request, but I am disappointed. I mean, did I really want to hurry up to get my stuff started just to have to bleeding wait for shits sake? Yes, en'it? Peace.