Betrayal? By This Mixed Blooded Me? Big Bear

Relations,

The number of days that have passed from the last time I was awake enough to be here and opening my heart was more than four or five days ago. I dislike the thoughts that come when the hyper-somnia hits me real tough - s symptom of Meniere's. In my Spirit's, these three or four days are days are zapped from my damned life! Health issues are going to require more surgery, more procedures, more pain and misery - but friends, I think now time to represent self whether I am able to make it to computer or not. I write this little piece below for all of the guests and readers who have stopped by. To take a read and catch a different side of someone living with Meniere's Disease. My heart and mind I have shared with every person who has passed through here. Me, a simple fellow with health issues. This Mixed Blooded fellow is me.

Betrayal? By This Mixed Blooded Me? (2014)

The scent of betrayal lays heavy in the
cool late afternoon air. It's not too far,
maybe right up that hill there. From time and
time again, I catch the scent of White Sage,
blessing, yes, loving, yes, caring? Yes.

Mama, said, keep the nose, eye's and ears -
wide open - up the best you can, hear? Walk
With A  Purpose, Our People Say.

The Big Bear,

who here within me, indicates by the
lifting of nostrils and wide eyes,
I am to keep them, my family safe and I safe.
Our den, our territory here in the preserve,
is sanctuary. We enjoy visits by many.
Friends, Family, Kin Folk and all -
for all to pray. Or not to pray. I do.

Even as my spirits, strike out at these diseases,
illnesses, and health issues. I wonder, I consider.
what the hell is My Mission? Am I to be? A freak?

How is it I am such a warrior? I have a titanium
implant sticking out from the left side of my skull.
How is it? I question myself to see myself from
the back of my thick skull. I do have an
awesome Scar, eh? A metal plate here too. Eh?
I question, could even I keep a good house as a
Two Spirit? I don't know.
and No, my Brother's and Sister's,
I have not yet done my Vision Quest.

Oh, I am embarrassed by this, I'm still young,
Who says I can't have my first Vision Quest now!
Or soon or sooner. All I have to do is make sure
I don't go to grab hold of the 'hot' cow fence'

Is it me, who has betrayed, Me? This Wonderful Mixed Blooded Me?
By continuing to permit the prejudice towards
Us, Who Are Mixed Blooded. Treated different, and indifferent,
but listen, We'll Always Be Underfoot. So please, check it out,
You can read about truths here. Life Happens.

I am a disabled One. The Warrior in my Spirit's
remembers the songs and the beats of the old people.
My tax paid working days began when I was 12.
I worked until late in my forty's. Working wonderful job!
So learn this, all the stories now are to share with younger ones.
Our Wonderful Elders who are here with us share the story's.

I say again and remember, I am no longer in mourning.
I will strive to have better days - it is ultimately within
my business plan. To Live, Healthy, Happy and Feel the Love!

As my beautiful Abuela Mary would have wanted. For ever and ever,
My Heart is Yours, my beautiful and forever sweet, Grandmother.
Oh, how I loved you Grandmother. You will remain with me
until I exhale my last breath. Abuela, is Grandmother in Spanish.

I have no more to say.