Dearest Kin Folk and Kindred Ones,
I want to get something out here really quick like. Really it's simple a topic for me it is a subject I wish be addressed with my Sisters and Baby Sisters. It is a dreadfully sad and embarrassing thing for me, but look, there's a must to this point, hell yeah. It's a deep personal topic, but for Goodness sake, folks got to say what one's got to say, whether it be all important conversations, laughs and memories. Family debates that come up from time to time, you know how it is with family and debates. No matter the topic, let be about life's Loves, and Life's Lovers. Moments had and moments disposed of. Oh Tina, I try and try to get you to be still. And listen. Just to be you. I am blessed to have four sisters, all of whom I love with all of my heart. My Sisters mean as much to me as their weight in gold and diamonds. No, their weights in $50.00, unmarked. Ha! Oh, my dear sisters! Please never feel as if you must impress me. I love you all. Remember this, you are all my little sisters, but Linda and Theresa are the only baby sisters I truly have. And true that Linda is the Baby of our Seven.
Which leads me to this, please let it be time that we are better able to connect with one another via spoken word or written word, no matter the topic and or pain one may be in! All of the pains of operation after surgery while in hospital approach quickly! I'm not ready for all of this!
Yet, I will swear I steadfastly approach my sisters with a hug and kiss. There have been so much issue with this in our family. I would swear that once Little brother past away, then Mom died and crossed over! My Mommy WAS not supposed to worry about the day that night in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Dad, was concerned for us and very truly wanted us to remain close and love each other. I will never forget the day our Dad went away right in front of our eyes. Mom, oh my mommy! Why did you have to go? Oh me, Oh Mom! There was so much for us to do. I love you and yes, my sisters are here. Not long past Mom's passing, Dad took so seriously sick with the cancer. Then the cancer took our Dad, destroyed such a large strong man from the inside out. Oh, the unfinished conversations! Gone were our traveling plans to take holidays right here in the South. Dad, had so much going on, work, family,family-family! Dad, traveled the Western Hemispheres and made wonderful friends with folks threw out Southern, Central Americas, Cuba and the Caribbean. And must to include friends from as far away as Japan. My Dad was a well know Sir., and I miss him dreadfully...
...Ana, Margarita, Theresa and Linda, please, for all of those of us remaining here, let us not forget to say I love you every time we speak. I am here, with no time 'closed'. I love you four for ever.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Pre-Op Information, Prepare For New Implant
Good Evening Guests,
On Friday of last week, while doctor and I were having a brief talk, I in haste shared with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, who had commented about my asthma as we were taking care of pre-op for surgery to be held on 26 March 2015, that my Asthma was really bad. This is where in haste shared that my asthma was better, oh how I so wished that my asthma was better enough. And that I would not need more appointments, more doctor bills, more tests else where to take care of my medical business here in my TGH. And oh, Lord, how I have been so excited about getting my new implant that I am so trying to believe I am doing better with respects to this asthma that sucks the oxygen from my lungs every day of life, I use my inhaler everyday. I try to believe I am a healthier person, when I know all I can do is hope and wish and pray. I have told myself that my Meniere's Disease symptoms are at bay when I walk in nausea and dizziness every day of life! That I vomit frequently and it's so easy to projectile vomit with no control. I wish my falls are easing, and yet my falls continue and continuing to scare me near horror! My facial spasms continue, 'though with this diagnosis, I do believe my spasms lessen. My Hyper Somnia rules my body and mind, the sleeps continue to keep me bed ridden for hours in the high teens and on occasion will sleep for +60 hours in one week due to one Meniere's attack. I've had two in last five weeks.
BUT, I must believe there is something in my skin that is getting better. No, it's not these damned pains that take advantage of this body every day. Everyday of life! And how I wish to curse and cuss! And, oh how I wish these pains were lessening. I tell Doctor my asthma it is better, it is to some degree, true. Yet, I do not know how to measure my asthma in medical terms. "Today, patient used emergency inhaler five times. That is better than seven or ten, yet all I can do is pray and wish it to be better for sure. Not a hoping it's better - but better! Considering I have had no hospitalization stays in over a year, in this case, yes, my last year has been better. As long as I had my inhaler with me.
It seems as if physical related crisis and issues pop up every day. I have had more operations and surgical procedures on my head, than I can remember. Still. Maybe it is that I am learning to accept my disabilities. Embrace them and work on all of these issues and believe. Believe finally, that these issues will in fact get better. Believe.
Yesterday evening I decided it best that I have a Breathing Test with the Worlds Best Pulmonologist, for my peace of mind and also for the Peace of mind for my doctor. I would have had worries and that always affects my respiration's. I have had asthma since childhood, I may not be having difficulty at this moment, but like my Meniere's it does as it wishes in and with my body.
So, I called this morning for an appointment on 11 March 2012. Then my doctor of Pulmonology and I will meet for a respiratory follow-up, report and surgical release for surgery to be held 12th day of March. The ultimate confirmation of need occurred last night when I was awoken for an inhale of my emergency inhaler.
God, guide the hands of them who will be attending to me these next several weeks. Please guide us as the team we have become, please let all know how much I am thankful and appreciative for the hard work done and work hard onward in improving my state of health.
On Friday of last week, while doctor and I were having a brief talk, I in haste shared with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, who had commented about my asthma as we were taking care of pre-op for surgery to be held on 26 March 2015, that my Asthma was really bad. This is where in haste shared that my asthma was better, oh how I so wished that my asthma was better enough. And that I would not need more appointments, more doctor bills, more tests else where to take care of my medical business here in my TGH. And oh, Lord, how I have been so excited about getting my new implant that I am so trying to believe I am doing better with respects to this asthma that sucks the oxygen from my lungs every day of life, I use my inhaler everyday. I try to believe I am a healthier person, when I know all I can do is hope and wish and pray. I have told myself that my Meniere's Disease symptoms are at bay when I walk in nausea and dizziness every day of life! That I vomit frequently and it's so easy to projectile vomit with no control. I wish my falls are easing, and yet my falls continue and continuing to scare me near horror! My facial spasms continue, 'though with this diagnosis, I do believe my spasms lessen. My Hyper Somnia rules my body and mind, the sleeps continue to keep me bed ridden for hours in the high teens and on occasion will sleep for +60 hours in one week due to one Meniere's attack. I've had two in last five weeks.
BUT, I must believe there is something in my skin that is getting better. No, it's not these damned pains that take advantage of this body every day. Everyday of life! And how I wish to curse and cuss! And, oh how I wish these pains were lessening. I tell Doctor my asthma it is better, it is to some degree, true. Yet, I do not know how to measure my asthma in medical terms. "Today, patient used emergency inhaler five times. That is better than seven or ten, yet all I can do is pray and wish it to be better for sure. Not a hoping it's better - but better! Considering I have had no hospitalization stays in over a year, in this case, yes, my last year has been better. As long as I had my inhaler with me.
It seems as if physical related crisis and issues pop up every day. I have had more operations and surgical procedures on my head, than I can remember. Still. Maybe it is that I am learning to accept my disabilities. Embrace them and work on all of these issues and believe. Believe finally, that these issues will in fact get better. Believe.
Yesterday evening I decided it best that I have a Breathing Test with the Worlds Best Pulmonologist, for my peace of mind and also for the Peace of mind for my doctor. I would have had worries and that always affects my respiration's. I have had asthma since childhood, I may not be having difficulty at this moment, but like my Meniere's it does as it wishes in and with my body.
So, I called this morning for an appointment on 11 March 2012. Then my doctor of Pulmonology and I will meet for a respiratory follow-up, report and surgical release for surgery to be held 12th day of March. The ultimate confirmation of need occurred last night when I was awoken for an inhale of my emergency inhaler.
God, guide the hands of them who will be attending to me these next several weeks. Please guide us as the team we have become, please let all know how much I am thankful and appreciative for the hard work done and work hard onward in improving my state of health.
Friday, March 6, 2015
An Update On Meniere's, My Implant, and Neruological Issues
Dear Right Good Readers,
Since my last entry much as gone on and much has been happening with my ensuring that appointments are made and kept in a timely manner, that I receive medications as ordered by my doctors, and that my entire team remains 'on same page'. Any variation of this chaffs my buttocks and does irritate me well enough. These that have issue does usually require a patient and doctor face to face. No matter which doctor or anything or anyone, it doesn't matter to me. Gladly, I am able to report that for the most part, all teams within any of the practices and or clinics I am involved with, treat me with the utmost of respect and care. I know I am blessed, and with the rights of a patient I am secure. I realize that I have top notch professors and doctors working with me as a team on this body of mine. All have been open to side bar conversations and all have obliged me with an adjustment in whatever it may have been.
In the past four to five weeks I have had two Meniere's attacks that rocked my real world really disgusting! The always present nausea, though these two times were non-productive. I have bad hours long problems with the sweats, severe enough to require two showers per day. I have lost several hours of life to the Sleep Gloom, but was blessed with 72 hour recovery times on both most recent. Sir, so too many times I have slept for +60 hours in less than one week. I might only pray for briefer times subdued by this particular fucked up symptom of Meniere's Disease. Yes, simply too much time away from my world, and enough of a problem to gain a diagnosis of Hyper-Somnia. There have been horrifying falls, clearly walking into a clear as a day door arch. Fumbles and stumbles, and walking about as if I were truly intoxicated. When I get to feeling like this, or when I exit my Little Blue Van or Bus, I walk backwards step-by-step. For now I prefer to manage my walk backwards. My innards gets a bit off balance, maybe confused even when exiting a large Bus.
Please my Guests, let me start on my left Deaf Ear. I do usually have my BAHA (Bone Anchored Hearing Aid, attached to the implant - but, you see, my implant popped out one week ago Saturday. The best I can describe is that that long ago I was having some harsh pain coming from my implant and the surrounding area, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, actually predicted that the entire implant would fall out of my thick skull and scalp. My most awesome doctor began the ordering of all necessary tools, equipment, and the most current BAHA available! The BAHA 5, and the anticipation from within creates this sensation of me needing to go void some liquids. I just don't have to and I let play over the tapes of my implant popping out like a loose tooth, then fall onto my left shoulder and freaked me out for a moment. No blood and no more pain, but I bet you I called my right good doctor. While we were discussing plans then, he offered up the titanium souvenir as a gift. Yes, we laughed. Oh, My Lord, and my doctor with hands blessed by God, I trust this person as a doctor, man-to-man, and as a fellow Christian. Have carried on the chit-chat and didn't mention that today I was able to also see my Dr. Mel B., who is such an awesome cool Radiologist, and she is a Shero of mine. (I picked up New Mommy vibes from Dr. Mel B., I don't think she knows this yet and if she has, she's not mentioned it to staff. Hmmm, be healthy dearest doctor. The operation for the latest implant is scheduled for later this month. No, my doctor does not play. Between now and then, there will be pre-op's, tests, x-rays and that sort of thing. I am ready, perhaps not so much for pain, but rather for my implant. I miss my older BAHA. I mean for Pete's sake, I've had the ole fellow for a hand full of years and I've grown rather attached to my hearing assisted devices, my BAHA for my left ear and a hearing aid for my right ear. You see, my dear Reader's, there are days when things get really so shitty, especially without my BAHA and my right ear has a bad day...
... Kindred One's, it gets very quiet in here. Should have mentioned it before. No wait, I have spoken about the deepness of the loneliness that builds from within my heart. There are times tears escape from the corners of my eyes, like a natural of water.
Neurologically speaking, just as ground was being made with chronic pain, we may have to restart the entire processes that were started well over one year ago. Yes, I say light, but now, with the actual surgery immediately around the corner, the ways with my face - getting all droopy, the spiders and worms, the bleeding sounds within a Deaf Ear, the actual bleeding and wound maintenance. And then with what I consider worst of all the muscle spasms that I frequently have on my left face. We had damned near had it beaten on my right side. To begin anew?
Look, if I could have walked into that Tampa General Hospital/University of South Florida and jumped on a gurney to get it done, I would have got it done. Just like that too!
Will keep in touch. Peace.
Since my last entry much as gone on and much has been happening with my ensuring that appointments are made and kept in a timely manner, that I receive medications as ordered by my doctors, and that my entire team remains 'on same page'. Any variation of this chaffs my buttocks and does irritate me well enough. These that have issue does usually require a patient and doctor face to face. No matter which doctor or anything or anyone, it doesn't matter to me. Gladly, I am able to report that for the most part, all teams within any of the practices and or clinics I am involved with, treat me with the utmost of respect and care. I know I am blessed, and with the rights of a patient I am secure. I realize that I have top notch professors and doctors working with me as a team on this body of mine. All have been open to side bar conversations and all have obliged me with an adjustment in whatever it may have been.
In the past four to five weeks I have had two Meniere's attacks that rocked my real world really disgusting! The always present nausea, though these two times were non-productive. I have bad hours long problems with the sweats, severe enough to require two showers per day. I have lost several hours of life to the Sleep Gloom, but was blessed with 72 hour recovery times on both most recent. Sir, so too many times I have slept for +60 hours in less than one week. I might only pray for briefer times subdued by this particular fucked up symptom of Meniere's Disease. Yes, simply too much time away from my world, and enough of a problem to gain a diagnosis of Hyper-Somnia. There have been horrifying falls, clearly walking into a clear as a day door arch. Fumbles and stumbles, and walking about as if I were truly intoxicated. When I get to feeling like this, or when I exit my Little Blue Van or Bus, I walk backwards step-by-step. For now I prefer to manage my walk backwards. My innards gets a bit off balance, maybe confused even when exiting a large Bus.
Please my Guests, let me start on my left Deaf Ear. I do usually have my BAHA (Bone Anchored Hearing Aid, attached to the implant - but, you see, my implant popped out one week ago Saturday. The best I can describe is that that long ago I was having some harsh pain coming from my implant and the surrounding area, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, actually predicted that the entire implant would fall out of my thick skull and scalp. My most awesome doctor began the ordering of all necessary tools, equipment, and the most current BAHA available! The BAHA 5, and the anticipation from within creates this sensation of me needing to go void some liquids. I just don't have to and I let play over the tapes of my implant popping out like a loose tooth, then fall onto my left shoulder and freaked me out for a moment. No blood and no more pain, but I bet you I called my right good doctor. While we were discussing plans then, he offered up the titanium souvenir as a gift. Yes, we laughed. Oh, My Lord, and my doctor with hands blessed by God, I trust this person as a doctor, man-to-man, and as a fellow Christian. Have carried on the chit-chat and didn't mention that today I was able to also see my Dr. Mel B., who is such an awesome cool Radiologist, and she is a Shero of mine. (I picked up New Mommy vibes from Dr. Mel B., I don't think she knows this yet and if she has, she's not mentioned it to staff. Hmmm, be healthy dearest doctor. The operation for the latest implant is scheduled for later this month. No, my doctor does not play. Between now and then, there will be pre-op's, tests, x-rays and that sort of thing. I am ready, perhaps not so much for pain, but rather for my implant. I miss my older BAHA. I mean for Pete's sake, I've had the ole fellow for a hand full of years and I've grown rather attached to my hearing assisted devices, my BAHA for my left ear and a hearing aid for my right ear. You see, my dear Reader's, there are days when things get really so shitty, especially without my BAHA and my right ear has a bad day...
... Kindred One's, it gets very quiet in here. Should have mentioned it before. No wait, I have spoken about the deepness of the loneliness that builds from within my heart. There are times tears escape from the corners of my eyes, like a natural of water.
Neurologically speaking, just as ground was being made with chronic pain, we may have to restart the entire processes that were started well over one year ago. Yes, I say light, but now, with the actual surgery immediately around the corner, the ways with my face - getting all droopy, the spiders and worms, the bleeding sounds within a Deaf Ear, the actual bleeding and wound maintenance. And then with what I consider worst of all the muscle spasms that I frequently have on my left face. We had damned near had it beaten on my right side. To begin anew?
Look, if I could have walked into that Tampa General Hospital/University of South Florida and jumped on a gurney to get it done, I would have got it done. Just like that too!
Will keep in touch. Peace.
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