Meniere's and Neurological Pain Report, 25 July 2014

Hello, to my dear readers, my guests,

Let me first say I am here at computer without my glasses. My hearing and the sounds and noises that accompany these type Meniere's Disease, attacks and consequences of them, keep me sometimes in a very own damned mind fog up with zero visual ability and the clutter up there somewhere. I have been tortured by the sounds of a group of Men speaking aloud in the next room from me. This is not a one time event, this happens quiet regularly, and when the whatever's occur - it's the Meniere's preparing  for an ass stomping. Sadly, it so damned very often, them around me have not an idea or care. But then, I suppose this is the way I would really rather have it. But shit though, not too damned many of my Kin Folk really give a shit less about me, this body and the chronic pain that rules my day to day life style like a mean joke that is lived and relived time and time again. There isn't poop for me to do but contest the attack from this Meniere's and let it go on. Living with it the best I can do. I function the damned best I can, and with those words, I promise I as a patient of multiple health related issues, disorders and disease's, that I must be the General of my body and conduct myself as business as usual. At least the best I can.

Gagging out loud today, over and over as if I'm about to hurl chunks of my innards. Vomiting in my mouth, spitting up on and off during today. Burping sometimes aloud because I am still with belief this helps me when I get nauseated. For shits sake, I suspect I sometimes may sound like some drunk dude, sitting or walking here belching trying to keep the sometimes projectile vomit at bay. This is part of my day to day life style, so I live it.

I have had steady sounds of multi Maoris Code connectors going on and on at same time tonight. This maddening sound seems to be very popular this past forty eight hours. And it is a sound that returns off and on in my life. Another dreaded sound from my left is sounds of WWII era fighting planes that approach me from the North-North West, there is always a huge squadron of them, the approach takes half an hour or so, then the unfortunate ones get caught in some sort of freeze frame - with their air planes continues with the same sounds as when approaching, but they're freeze framed, immediately above my home. There were two or three times I went out to check, now days I do my best to freaking ignore the damned noises and sounds. What to do?

Facial spasms on both side of my face have been torture, very simply inhumane torture. I desperately attempt to reach the areas under my face, and behind my jaws. I have also had ear spasms get back into the routine of this battle. I eat my medicine and try to relax, which is bull shit because I don't know how to massage my face in public without looking as if I needed some other form of help. Oh, my dear family, friends, and guests, I consider the fellow Humans out there with me. Sometimes it's just to damned raw!

Dizziness has been present 24 - 7. I have had to wall walk and use high alert due to my gate, giddiness, frustrations, and hurt of heart. The sweats are a part of my daily life, sometimes there is no answer to why I sweat so much except Meniere's and it's symptoms pre and post Meniere's Attacks.

Returning to my hearing,  it is my beautiful left ear that is without sound. But, I hear and damn well listen to many sounds in this Deaf left ear. There are noises in both ears, the hard of hearing right ear has it's own, "Top 10 Lists", and it fucks with me every damned day and most of the time without any notice. In an instant, I can be giddy as hail and be absolutely enjoying myself with what I am trying to do to help Grammy and I keep a happy home. It is them harsh and sudden attacks that slug me right in the gut. Or straight to my throat, ears, body, and brains. The pains tonight are at a solid Six. Sometimes, I feel as if were making progress as a team, then the life altering pains from Meniere's and Neurological Pains that dwell deep within me and that's how this pain works against me. These pains very typically begin from my bones and then threw to my muscles. Sometimes the pain is so bad I feel like I have burns on my back! I'm so tired of being tired and so damned tired of being sick! I mean, every fucking day?

There are times when I am able to get out for a spell. Depending on what it is I'm doing or which doctor I am headed too, there are too many occasions when this alone sets me back for a day or few. Saturday, my wife drove me up to Brooksville, Florida to visit one of my dearest friends Mary, the owner of Peace Tree Trading. Unfortunately, the trip to the auto dealership and then the extra mileage North got me to bad. By the time we arrived my mind and body were already on a steady decline. I toughed it up a spell and visited with my sweet dear sister from another mother. Thank you for you love and understanding. It is with high hope my next visit will be a happier visit. Seen.

Readers, please, I do not know why my words suddenly became so bold. Um, yep, I figured it out. Um, nope and well then, I guess I didn't.

My eyes continue to wiggle-wiggle back and forth. Every day and any time of day. This is a Meniere's thing that does not go away - it lives here with me. Me, my stutters and it's humiliating. Honestly, all of the above is humiliating to me.

Yet I try my brothers and sisters, and I try hard. I will continue to fight these battles, and yes my Noble Knights, we shall have Victory! Whoa, that sounds so, from some where else. Yet the bottom line is that I will continue to fight and fight harder and harder.

Damn, I'm way too young to feel this damned old.