Sounds and Noises, So Very-Near-The-Edge

I've had several so very-near-the-edge of a full blown out panic going back four or so weeks ago. I don't know really, but not longer than this brief period I have described. I suspect that what I labeled an asthma attack back four weeks was actually pretty damned near the panic. My body and the bones within tell me so. I have had too many moments in time where I've had to "snap" out or as I've always shared with others, disengage. My God, I must, because if not, I'm afraid that edge my third eye has been focused on, are because of these sounds and noises, which aid in creating panic. Which assist in the madness. I know this. It's right here next to me.

I am aware that this past half year plus one month, has had me all over the charts when it comes to my physical health, the Meniere's Disease and Neurological and Spinal issues, and to include my psychological and emotional status's. The graphs of ups and downs would be difficult to evaluate. This has been from the calm of faith and certainty, to the very edge of wanting to scream out loud. And scream without cease! I've cried out loud a bit, keeping in mind there is a difference in crying out loud and weeping aloud. I'll be damned, I know the difference from a personal perspective. And I'm a dude. Oh, Good God, I have done some deep personal inventory and sessions of disengaging. For me over these many years of recovery, I have found that the crying, screaming into a pillow or under water work in disengaging. Medicine.

My therapist, Sir. Dude continues to be an asset to my being and team. I've been knocked off balance for such a long now, you see? Sir. Dude, is an entrusted individual and I respect him highly. Furthermore, I have sought assistance from "My Advocate", at Self Reliance, Inc., Center For Independent Living. He has helped me get-a-grip, 'fairly well to good' and we have established a personal business plan that has me connecting with financial matters and professionals. I have a seminar on insurance issues, and the alternatives. Most ultimately then, a date attending an Expo - Convention here in Down Town Tampa, for our Deaf and Hard of Hearing citizens, come mid November. My Advocate, aka My Earth Angel, highly-highly recommended I go, so it's a part of my plan. Mr. Y., is an awesome member of my team. What a true blessing he is indeed.

Sometime soon, my bath will be evaluated for further restoration. Mr. Y., is directing the way.

Please hold on Team, here we go! I've got to keep on keeping on. Seen.