Hello, greeting's, and welcome. My deepest and most dearest love, a deep long held awareness passed on me from other's, mentors, learners, teachers from and directed to my truly dearest fellow Mother Earth Mates.
I am humbled to see one thing visiting my blog this evening. In one of my dearest special and peaceful spots here in my crib, yes, here in another of my safe rooms or a safe place. Oh, and please, closets and spots where NO, I do come to chat about any damned business but my own! Huh? Humbled, Yes, shoot...!
You see, I look at my country, America right now as my country on the verge of true fucking foolery! This ignorant bombing of Homes and Homes and people and Folks, and Children and children DIE everyday. Day after day. So I lay myself to sleep, listen to the smaller jets held usually like big timers, corp. folks, and my good friend John Travolta. (IN my head since I was a teen! Are ya kiddin'?)
As far as my battles with Meniere's disease, it's symptoms, pains, and consequences associated with this maddening disease, I feel and deal with this damn stuff every DAY. Say? I have been bed bound for off and on a few weeks here and there. At this moment I do not walk without my four legged cane or a walker when Meniere's is off the what. Yes. Yes, so many of these scenes happen everyday. This comes from a disease, that has taken my life and is destroying it slowly. Squeezing my hearing and balance and still I know the asthma pneumonia and that wreaks my lungs kicking long after I quit smoking! It busts my ass for real. Such a young fool too? Shit!! I have in fact had several surgery's, operations and procedures because of Meniere's Disease. And now, surgery's and procedures due to neurology. I've had, I know in my simple way of viewing life and my life as a survivor in particular continues to a healing. My "Trio of Women", who are my family. Dad, and The Three Women Folks! My Baby's, all three, having know how. Brenda since she was only 13. I had my sweet Mom, a lttle loca, si? But I still love my Mama to this day! I miss my Abuela Mary!!!!!!!!! Oh My Dear God!!! My Grandmother!! Family. Lord.
I've had in my life, my opportunity's to run. I swear I wish to run! Hell yes! Run, Mario, Run!. My ignorant, jack ass calls or two. Shoot, if I could take it back! This Woman's Heart, is made of bricks of gold. Just like her heart, my wife, I love you. My childhood friend, Girl Friend, High School, Post ARMY, my sweet dream was here for me. Months later we no longer fiancé's.
We are here as a Team, and humble ourselves due to having to file for Bank-Please-Offer-Our-Hearts- A-Loving-Hug. Bank peoples want to talk to me any kind of way. I think to myself, Um, no sir., or no ma'am - you can't speak to me that way. Our Coils in our Air Conditioner needs replacement, my Good God, that's $983.00. Like right in there dollars. Lord, is here, I feel the Energy within. Every thing's gonna be okay, everything's goona be alright!
Some time's, my life had me get a cut to the bone! I say, that's threw to the white meat. Seen.
Yes, early in my life, I made some silly ass and simply totally irresponsible decisions. Many perpetrators, took advantage - family and friends, took advantage, over and over Lord. My Lord. Some folk I felt were truly friend yes? No, some of my Folks, brothers and ole running mates took life one way. And I really had to go elsewhere. Oh yes, me and my shift was different in different ways, because I didn't want to die over Folks and other ways. Seen. I still mourn the loss of my Baby Brother. One of three. Really. No words come to my mouth, but I just heard beep-beep-beep-beepity-beep!! I was so way out there, back then, true, too be way out there in the '70's, them 80's and 1990.s It way to cool to be alive and to experience this Life With Music as a part of my Family. There has been just way too many chances, choices. Wait One Minute!! I was raised and so vividly remember songs of the 1960's. I remember Mom and Dad, listening to music from the 1960's, though either Spanish or Hillbilly Music. I thank God for transistor radio for base ball games, classical music and the what. Living here in Tampa, I was blessed to have a Black Radio Station. Ended each show with The Black National Anthem. Oh my, my!
I am humbled and ask for pardon for this "Jump-About-Jump- Around form of communications. I say I am sorry for this if it frustrates you, if not, I dig it too. Look, this disease called Meniere's really changed everything in my life! The money all of this got tied up in. My Good God.
Oh! My Dearest Good God, I thank you for your blessings and your love. My Heart and mind and soul belong to you My God! My Walk has My Great Spirit here with me. Please, My Lord, walk with me, help me learn to live this way. I pray for Family, Friends and my Dear Kindred Folks. My Path, has kept me steady moving onward even though there was rocks, stones and shit.
Look, I've got to go. I leave in peace, love, and understanding to every person on Earth Mother! Please! Peace! Please God, Peace!
Pardon my absence please. So much has been done, and more to come. Peace.
...I was about five, when I knew...
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