Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Meniere's and I, 28 December 2012
I listened to the tune of a one single tone, "beep" for just about two hours straight last early evening. It had been an off and on thing through-out most of the day, but last evening it took ahold of my Hard of Hearing Right Ear and totally made a nuisance of it's self. So carried away and lingering was the tune, I had to lay my skull down for some Sleep Therapy. Sleep Therapy, is something that comes about post vertigo attack for me...
...there's a hint I get when I've hit a slide into sleep and rest. My head will jerk to aside or different parts of my body makes a sudden burst of energy, Even if I've never used that particular body part or muscle before. Once this has happened "one" time, I know I'll soon be off to Dream World. There are evenings of sleeps where this may happen more than once...
...it does not matter to me. I am aware I will soon be off to sleep once the jerks kick in. I Thank God, as soon as I feel the first pull-into-sleep jerk. These are non-medicated sleep's, by the way. These come about because of the physical and emotional drain and strain that accompanies this pecular symptom of a Meniere's Disease Attack.
No, it is not the first time a sound has sent me off into an attack. It's common enough.
It's in the low 50's out and I'm sweating in this room tonight. I am wearing a cap of sweat and perspiration. It's past mid-night and I sit here with spots of wetness on my t-shirt.
I am nauseated to my Adam's apple. This late morning when I awoke, my throat and glands on left side of my face were swollen plenty and ached.
Look, I'm 52 years old for Pete's Sake...
...still a fairly young Dude. I would like to think.
The dizziness is to the point where I must read and re-read every entry to check for misspelled words and such. I really don't want to post too many words incorrectly spelled. Dig?
Have slept 18 hours over the past 24. I wonder, WTF? Will return to bed and the Dream World with-in the next few minutes.
The balance and coordination piece has been off and poor. Bumping into walls, furniture and cars.
The hearing in my HH right ear has been and is poor. After all, this is from where the non-stop beep took place.
My Left Deaf Ear has been catching messages from the M-15. Coded messages.
The Morris Code has been going on and on. I am listening to this now.
I have read and re-read enough. Good Night Relations.
I'm keeping John Wayne near by.
That's all...
...there's a hint I get when I've hit a slide into sleep and rest. My head will jerk to aside or different parts of my body makes a sudden burst of energy, Even if I've never used that particular body part or muscle before. Once this has happened "one" time, I know I'll soon be off to Dream World. There are evenings of sleeps where this may happen more than once...
...it does not matter to me. I am aware I will soon be off to sleep once the jerks kick in. I Thank God, as soon as I feel the first pull-into-sleep jerk. These are non-medicated sleep's, by the way. These come about because of the physical and emotional drain and strain that accompanies this pecular symptom of a Meniere's Disease Attack.
No, it is not the first time a sound has sent me off into an attack. It's common enough.
It's in the low 50's out and I'm sweating in this room tonight. I am wearing a cap of sweat and perspiration. It's past mid-night and I sit here with spots of wetness on my t-shirt.
I am nauseated to my Adam's apple. This late morning when I awoke, my throat and glands on left side of my face were swollen plenty and ached.
Look, I'm 52 years old for Pete's Sake...
...still a fairly young Dude. I would like to think.
The dizziness is to the point where I must read and re-read every entry to check for misspelled words and such. I really don't want to post too many words incorrectly spelled. Dig?
Have slept 18 hours over the past 24. I wonder, WTF? Will return to bed and the Dream World with-in the next few minutes.
The balance and coordination piece has been off and poor. Bumping into walls, furniture and cars.
The hearing in my HH right ear has been and is poor. After all, this is from where the non-stop beep took place.
My Left Deaf Ear has been catching messages from the M-15. Coded messages.
The Morris Code has been going on and on. I am listening to this now.
I have read and re-read enough. Good Night Relations.
I'm keeping John Wayne near by.
That's all...
Saturday, December 24, 2011
This Is The 360th Communique
Dearest Relations,
Yes, it's true, this is my 360th communique since starting "way" back in August of 2010...
...and how splendid it is, that this should come about on Christmas Eve.
I wanted to take a couple of minutes to share well wishes with All of my Relations here on this little Orb we call Mother Earth. Especially to my family, my dear daughter who lives far, far and away, and to all who have visited this blog, Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path. It is so cool to have you stop by for a check up on My Path, my Life. I very truly am thankful and humbled by the you all, my Kinfolk, Kindred, and Relations who have stopped by for a look and read. I'm Blessed.
This Meniere's is not even going to let up today. Won't get into too many details, but I be damned if I'm not dizzy, nauseated, and listening to the beeping-beep-beep's of Morris Code coming out of Gorky Park over in Russia. Listening to this from my Left Deaf Ear even. Seem's as if the one tapping is in a hurry...
...suppose she want's to get home for Christmas too.
Which brings me to my number one message to each and every person who stops by and read this note. Please Relations, have a very Happy and Merry, and Joyful Christmas. May The Great Spirit, Bless All of You with good health.
Had to bring John Wayne in from pasture. Po' fellow was exhausted and hungry too. He's a horny such-n-such too, ya know?
Anyway's, once again, Merry Christmas!
That's all I've got to say.
Yes, it's true, this is my 360th communique since starting "way" back in August of 2010...
...and how splendid it is, that this should come about on Christmas Eve.
I wanted to take a couple of minutes to share well wishes with All of my Relations here on this little Orb we call Mother Earth. Especially to my family, my dear daughter who lives far, far and away, and to all who have visited this blog, Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path. It is so cool to have you stop by for a check up on My Path, my Life. I very truly am thankful and humbled by the you all, my Kinfolk, Kindred, and Relations who have stopped by for a look and read. I'm Blessed.
This Meniere's is not even going to let up today. Won't get into too many details, but I be damned if I'm not dizzy, nauseated, and listening to the beeping-beep-beep's of Morris Code coming out of Gorky Park over in Russia. Listening to this from my Left Deaf Ear even. Seem's as if the one tapping is in a hurry...
...suppose she want's to get home for Christmas too.
Which brings me to my number one message to each and every person who stops by and read this note. Please Relations, have a very Happy and Merry, and Joyful Christmas. May The Great Spirit, Bless All of You with good health.
Had to bring John Wayne in from pasture. Po' fellow was exhausted and hungry too. He's a horny such-n-such too, ya know?
Anyway's, once again, Merry Christmas!
That's all I've got to say.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Just Another Statistic - Say What?
Today, is the 22nd of December 2011...
I have felt and have been upset by being stolen from. Another Victim Stat!
The Company JC Penney, had the UPS deliver a package/packages of items that were meant to be wrapped and given to my family. The JC Penny say the UPS dropped it off at 1446 on Monday, 19 December 2011...
...no, it has not been delivered or it was in fact stolen from the front porch of my Lodge. The House of Seven Windows...
...negated by the Sheriff Department, as far as reporting to local Law Enforcement Office. I had to call JC Penny back to ask them to please have the UPS to conduct an investigation in "conjunction with Local Law Enforcement. ? Say What?!
JC Penny has done the something that really touched my heart and Spirit's. JC Penny, has taken up much time with this scenrio and did something that blew my mind...
...they credited the first transaction and are having this transaction begun a new. And are having this "next-dayed" so that I'll recieve the next package tomorrow! The day before Our Good Night. Our Christmas Eve. That's some Legendary Customer Care, right there. What a Blessing indeed.
I took names, but I would rather not write names. I am thankful and appreciative to every Customer Rep. From The JC Penny, the UPS and the Sheriff. I have a neighbour who informed me that he saw the truck but did not see a drop off. So I called the JC Penny back. Wanted to call the Sheriff again to have a chat. Even though I was, "DENIED!" the first time around. LMAO! That's some passing it along right there.
It's very odd to feel the victim inside my chest. Still very much alive. It's as if I have just become - "just another victim".
So, it's like my Spirit's and the all of me are tired of that fucking word, victim! So I don't want to say it - I don't want to be it!
Just another statistic.
That's All...
I have felt and have been upset by being stolen from. Another Victim Stat!
The Company JC Penney, had the UPS deliver a package/packages of items that were meant to be wrapped and given to my family. The JC Penny say the UPS dropped it off at 1446 on Monday, 19 December 2011...
...no, it has not been delivered or it was in fact stolen from the front porch of my Lodge. The House of Seven Windows...
...negated by the Sheriff Department, as far as reporting to local Law Enforcement Office. I had to call JC Penny back to ask them to please have the UPS to conduct an investigation in "conjunction with Local Law Enforcement. ? Say What?!
JC Penny has done the something that really touched my heart and Spirit's. JC Penny, has taken up much time with this scenrio and did something that blew my mind...
...they credited the first transaction and are having this transaction begun a new. And are having this "next-dayed" so that I'll recieve the next package tomorrow! The day before Our Good Night. Our Christmas Eve. That's some Legendary Customer Care, right there. What a Blessing indeed.
I took names, but I would rather not write names. I am thankful and appreciative to every Customer Rep. From The JC Penny, the UPS and the Sheriff. I have a neighbour who informed me that he saw the truck but did not see a drop off. So I called the JC Penny back. Wanted to call the Sheriff again to have a chat. Even though I was, "DENIED!" the first time around. LMAO! That's some passing it along right there.
It's very odd to feel the victim inside my chest. Still very much alive. It's as if I have just become - "just another victim".
So, it's like my Spirit's and the all of me are tired of that fucking word, victim! So I don't want to say it - I don't want to be it!
Just another statistic.
That's All...
Meniere's, Hurt Back and I
Oh my dearest Kindred, I am not knowing how long I will be on this computer today as I sit here tip-tap-tipping away...
I do want to say that I have really done gone on and hurt the ole lower lumbar's. Dreadful pain and I mean to say some dreadfully shittin' pain. I don't know. What can you do when you live in a shoe?
The past several day's have been very difficult to navigate. It has been since the 16th of December, that I have begun to become overwhelmed with symptoms of an attack that I am still waiting for? And wait. And then?
...the dizzines has been whirl around the carrousel type of dizzy. The entire balance and coordination piece has had me on High Alert. And stll, I trip, bounce, bump into shit everyday for day's. Fortunately, no falls.
Sweating profusely at the drop of a hat - off and on and on and off. If not sweating, perspiring or misting. At this moment I am perspiring close to sweating. I feel this on my legs, ankels, top of head and am wearing a necklase of perspiration. Am sweating under my arms and feel the trailing of this uncomfortable situation.
My symptoms of nausea have been exceptionally harsh. Having had productive nausea. Throwing up into my mouth has become routine. Sometimes, I feel the vomit right up to the top of my throat but have been able to keep these from going to my mouth. There is never anything funny of the nausea.
The Worm's come and go. I think it would be right good of me to thank the One, who has been called, "She-Who-Intimedates-Me". Maybe come the New Year, a different name will be adopted for She. If not for She increasing intake of the "nerve tablet", the Worms would be much more active. I am able to say this as one who had the sensations of Worms in my head.
My left Deaf ear is listening, yes, I said Deaf, to the chirping of baby birds somewhere up there between my ears. Chip-chirp-chirping, something crazy and is about to drive me mad! If not the freaking chirping it has been listening to the Secret Codes coming out of Botswana.
My right HH ear is listening to rain and there is no clouds in the bright clear blue sky. I also am able to hear the crickets from the Everglades.
Them sumbitches must be huge and their living somewhere with-in a fold of mine brain. There has been too many consecutive day's with bad or poor hearing, and the moments of complete silence still scare me to deaf. So I wonder? And really hope the silence never remains for a long or extended amount of time. I would freak.
I must take a time out and go lay down. My back is hurting really-really-I-want-to-cuss-bad.
I'll conclude this with some positive news and thus, I delight in sharing with all Relations, that there has been additions to Our Global Family, France and Bangladesh have taken a look and see. I welcome you with open heart and an extended hand in respect and peace. I am humbled by your visit. Thank you.
Please Kindred know that if anyone should ever have a question, please never hesitate to jot one down in the comments section of the blogg.
This is all.
I do want to say that I have really done gone on and hurt the ole lower lumbar's. Dreadful pain and I mean to say some dreadfully shittin' pain. I don't know. What can you do when you live in a shoe?
The past several day's have been very difficult to navigate. It has been since the 16th of December, that I have begun to become overwhelmed with symptoms of an attack that I am still waiting for? And wait. And then?
...the dizzines has been whirl around the carrousel type of dizzy. The entire balance and coordination piece has had me on High Alert. And stll, I trip, bounce, bump into shit everyday for day's. Fortunately, no falls.
Sweating profusely at the drop of a hat - off and on and on and off. If not sweating, perspiring or misting. At this moment I am perspiring close to sweating. I feel this on my legs, ankels, top of head and am wearing a necklase of perspiration. Am sweating under my arms and feel the trailing of this uncomfortable situation.
My symptoms of nausea have been exceptionally harsh. Having had productive nausea. Throwing up into my mouth has become routine. Sometimes, I feel the vomit right up to the top of my throat but have been able to keep these from going to my mouth. There is never anything funny of the nausea.
The Worm's come and go. I think it would be right good of me to thank the One, who has been called, "She-Who-Intimedates-Me". Maybe come the New Year, a different name will be adopted for She. If not for She increasing intake of the "nerve tablet", the Worms would be much more active. I am able to say this as one who had the sensations of Worms in my head.
My left Deaf ear is listening, yes, I said Deaf, to the chirping of baby birds somewhere up there between my ears. Chip-chirp-chirping, something crazy and is about to drive me mad! If not the freaking chirping it has been listening to the Secret Codes coming out of Botswana.
My right HH ear is listening to rain and there is no clouds in the bright clear blue sky. I also am able to hear the crickets from the Everglades.
Them sumbitches must be huge and their living somewhere with-in a fold of mine brain. There has been too many consecutive day's with bad or poor hearing, and the moments of complete silence still scare me to deaf. So I wonder? And really hope the silence never remains for a long or extended amount of time. I would freak.
I must take a time out and go lay down. My back is hurting really-really-I-want-to-cuss-bad.
I'll conclude this with some positive news and thus, I delight in sharing with all Relations, that there has been additions to Our Global Family, France and Bangladesh have taken a look and see. I welcome you with open heart and an extended hand in respect and peace. I am humbled by your visit. Thank you.
Please Kindred know that if anyone should ever have a question, please never hesitate to jot one down in the comments section of the blogg.
This is all.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
No. No Cars, Planes, or Train Jumping. What?
Ahh, have I kept that conversation with my dear friend close on my mind and in my heart or what? The more his words resonate within, the more I realize and question myself about the Path I have traveled for what feels like a life time. I could hear a smile in his voice, but I knew my Brother from Guam was very serious. He has alway's taken our Kindred Kinship very seriously. Sounds to me he prefer I continue living and moving along with this grand-as-possible-sort-of-life.
As I do, and as I too have alway's taken our Kindred Kinship Omni-Presently Serious. Life goes on, ya know? I want to live this Life of mine and remain focused on what it is I am to do about my own illness's and pain's...
...and assist my brudda from Guam, "Maintaining Communications" as we did with the HHQ! Duuuuuuuude! Damn you, I love you!
I've let guilt take a moment since we spoke last. It hurts my Spirit's, to know that I hurt my Right-Very-Best-Good-Friend, my brotha-from-anotha-Mista, and I am honestly humbled, Mr. Guam. Your heart is already heavy and ailing you as it does. You don't need as much more "drama" as One might could get from other Folk's house. True? Eh? Oui! I pray for you to maintain vigilance on remaining a healthy and happy Dude/Dad/Husband/Son/Very Best Good Friend. Oh, and by the way, I in-turn will inquire about you and your's. Alrighty then.........
...what year was it Ole Fellow, you won that there Mr. Guam, title? 1976? Didn't you win it twice? I fergit.
I also want to take a moment to apologize to my bride, my dearest Brenda. My splendidly beautiful daughter's, All my Kinfolk and All mine Kindred. It would be a lie if I were to say I never thought of some dumb shit about hurting myself. I have spoken of doing self-bodily harm and such and that. But my Relations, that's limited to those way's and thing's I would do to punish myself...
...these thought's and contemplation live between these Ear's...
...but, you know what? I'm trying to live so the preacher won't have to lie. Yes, that little line is from one of my favorite singer's. But, it sure carries a heavy note in heart. And, this is where I have been...
...living as sweet and positive a life as I can. Spread love and peace to as many Kindred I might possibly reach. Like, it's just that! This killing One'self is totally against my plans for my life. My life has indeed been grand! It has also been the Roller Coaster from Hell that I/We have fought and am still fighting. But, I'm not going anywhere. I have a Life to live and I wish to live it with as much "mucho gusto" as I might muster!
The punishment piece was routine as a child and adolescent, you see?. It was a part of the "All" of it. For so many decades I held all of the responsibilty of the sexual abuse, the emotional, physical, mental abuse's, and yes, I know better and have the tools with which to deal with certain episodes of Life. That punishment was such a routine and part of my young life by other's, that I then as a Victim, would punish and hurt myself for whatever it was I thought was routine. I felt that it was necessary to be punished for what it was those Men taught and did to me. It was my duty and my nature to insure somebody was held accounatable...
...it was alway's me. No, I never spoke up...
...THEN!
It's crazy-mad how Life Goes On.
No, my Relations, there won't be any jumping 'round here. I love life and look forward to my tomorrow...
...my morrow's. Hell, I'm like a puppy waiting for Mommy to come home from work everyday. I bark along with our hounds in joy that "Mommy's Home"! Woof-Woof!!
The shit I've put this WOman through back in our youth! Is really a whole other blog full. I think I was a Cosmic Dogg. Yes! I'll admit it! I was a Dogg before Snoop Dogg. Please, why lie? The things I would do and the risks I took. I am forever thankful and Blessed by Great Spirit. Great Spirit, alway's had me covered. As many time's as I placed myself in to dangerous situations, Great Spirit was there protecting me from disease, disorder's, violence, and suicide. The Great One, Blessed me with this strong, yet delicate, and loving Woman to call my Bride. We're more than Soul Mates - we're truly Universal Mates. Meaning, I am very well aware this relationship was writen in the "Book", long before we were even born. Oh Lord, thank you for your love and influence in our lives. Thank you for my Cowgirl, Brenda Jean. I love her more than life. That right there is One Big reason, I am not willing to expedite my departure from my Family or this planet, Our Earth Mother. I Love to Laugh and I love to eat. I Love to Live!
life goes on...
...so, no, there won't be any jumping here. Not from car's, or train's or plane's. Remember this, if I wouldn't jump from this U.S. Army's planes - I will not be jumping for recreation. Recreation? Really? Shit, I would be one of them you'ld read about in the press or see on television or hear on the radio, "Mr. Mario Sierra, a Mixed Breed and Florida Native, died yesterday when his parachute failed to open while jumping out of some dumb ass plane." Recreation? Ha! Please! Ha!
Relations, yes I have issues. Emotional and physical. I am dealing with these in a rational and responsible manner...
...I seem to be morphing into another me. Yes, I know that I have a depression issue, so I eat anti-sad pills and try my best to be more positive and peaceful to others, while also being more positive and peaceful to self. True to self. Yes? Oui!
This is all I have to say.
As I do, and as I too have alway's taken our Kindred Kinship Omni-Presently Serious. Life goes on, ya know? I want to live this Life of mine and remain focused on what it is I am to do about my own illness's and pain's...
...and assist my brudda from Guam, "Maintaining Communications" as we did with the HHQ! Duuuuuuuude! Damn you, I love you!
I've let guilt take a moment since we spoke last. It hurts my Spirit's, to know that I hurt my Right-Very-Best-Good-Friend, my brotha-from-anotha-Mista, and I am honestly humbled, Mr. Guam. Your heart is already heavy and ailing you as it does. You don't need as much more "drama" as One might could get from other Folk's house. True? Eh? Oui! I pray for you to maintain vigilance on remaining a healthy and happy Dude/Dad/Husband/Son/Very Best Good Friend. Oh, and by the way, I in-turn will inquire about you and your's. Alrighty then.........
...what year was it Ole Fellow, you won that there Mr. Guam, title? 1976? Didn't you win it twice? I fergit.
I also want to take a moment to apologize to my bride, my dearest Brenda. My splendidly beautiful daughter's, All my Kinfolk and All mine Kindred. It would be a lie if I were to say I never thought of some dumb shit about hurting myself. I have spoken of doing self-bodily harm and such and that. But my Relations, that's limited to those way's and thing's I would do to punish myself...
...these thought's and contemplation live between these Ear's...
...but, you know what? I'm trying to live so the preacher won't have to lie. Yes, that little line is from one of my favorite singer's. But, it sure carries a heavy note in heart. And, this is where I have been...
...living as sweet and positive a life as I can. Spread love and peace to as many Kindred I might possibly reach. Like, it's just that! This killing One'self is totally against my plans for my life. My life has indeed been grand! It has also been the Roller Coaster from Hell that I/We have fought and am still fighting. But, I'm not going anywhere. I have a Life to live and I wish to live it with as much "mucho gusto" as I might muster!
The punishment piece was routine as a child and adolescent, you see?. It was a part of the "All" of it. For so many decades I held all of the responsibilty of the sexual abuse, the emotional, physical, mental abuse's, and yes, I know better and have the tools with which to deal with certain episodes of Life. That punishment was such a routine and part of my young life by other's, that I then as a Victim, would punish and hurt myself for whatever it was I thought was routine. I felt that it was necessary to be punished for what it was those Men taught and did to me. It was my duty and my nature to insure somebody was held accounatable...
...it was alway's me. No, I never spoke up...
...THEN!
It's crazy-mad how Life Goes On.
No, my Relations, there won't be any jumping 'round here. I love life and look forward to my tomorrow...
...my morrow's. Hell, I'm like a puppy waiting for Mommy to come home from work everyday. I bark along with our hounds in joy that "Mommy's Home"! Woof-Woof!!
The shit I've put this WOman through back in our youth! Is really a whole other blog full. I think I was a Cosmic Dogg. Yes! I'll admit it! I was a Dogg before Snoop Dogg. Please, why lie? The things I would do and the risks I took. I am forever thankful and Blessed by Great Spirit. Great Spirit, alway's had me covered. As many time's as I placed myself in to dangerous situations, Great Spirit was there protecting me from disease, disorder's, violence, and suicide. The Great One, Blessed me with this strong, yet delicate, and loving Woman to call my Bride. We're more than Soul Mates - we're truly Universal Mates. Meaning, I am very well aware this relationship was writen in the "Book", long before we were even born. Oh Lord, thank you for your love and influence in our lives. Thank you for my Cowgirl, Brenda Jean. I love her more than life. That right there is One Big reason, I am not willing to expedite my departure from my Family or this planet, Our Earth Mother. I Love to Laugh and I love to eat. I Love to Live!
life goes on...
...so, no, there won't be any jumping here. Not from car's, or train's or plane's. Remember this, if I wouldn't jump from this U.S. Army's planes - I will not be jumping for recreation. Recreation? Really? Shit, I would be one of them you'ld read about in the press or see on television or hear on the radio, "Mr. Mario Sierra, a Mixed Breed and Florida Native, died yesterday when his parachute failed to open while jumping out of some dumb ass plane." Recreation? Ha! Please! Ha!
Relations, yes I have issues. Emotional and physical. I am dealing with these in a rational and responsible manner...
...I seem to be morphing into another me. Yes, I know that I have a depression issue, so I eat anti-sad pills and try my best to be more positive and peaceful to others, while also being more positive and peaceful to self. True to self. Yes? Oui!
This is all I have to say.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Life Goes On
Thank you, to those who have added their country to the growing population of Kindred who read Mario's Path, which is of course, My Path...
...thank you to them who are from Italy, The United Arab Emirates, Turkey, Georgia, France, Ghana and Qatar. It is an Honor to have had you stop by, if even but for a paragraph or two. You are welcome.
I often wonder about the Kindred who live in other far and away places. Are you guest's with this Meniere's Disease? Are you comparing your sypmtoms to mine? Do you have a doctor like mine, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain? A doctor I have trusted with my life and my hearing. A person I have grown to love and am Honored to say his name aloud in public. Are you students in the Medical and or Health Care Professions? I often times consider the same of my own fellow country Men and WOmen...
...I am amazed at the amount of guests I have had stop by for a read or listen. By end of year I will be approaching 6,500 guests. My simple mind and simple way of looking at Life has not comprehended the concept that Folk's, really do care and check up on me every once in a while. Or how is it that one so simple - speaking simple truth's about my illness's and my Life's journey...
...and even pepper my languauge with a shitty word or two every so often, would still receive contacts from Fellow Earth Mates from all corners of this planet, Our Earth Mother.
My Heart, Spirit's and Soul, cry's and prays for those less fortunate than me. I have seen and have experianced alot of Life's illnesses and injustices personally...
...but, really? We have G.I.'s coming home limbless, blind, harshly wounded. PTSD. Coming home? The Country dishonor's our Honorable One's by welcoming them home with no jobs to earn an honest dollar. Ill equiped to take proper care of the severely wounded. Or properly dispose of remains.
I see how my fellow Earth Mates, are not treated with respect or dignity, nor do they have the freedom to speak of what it is in their minds. That's all some want, is simply to share what's on their mind.
Have seen so much and too much Blood on the media and in the press. I may require glasses to see and read, but damnit if the Blood I see being let on the streets of some country's, that really, are not that far from where I live. Blood is blood and your blood is the same color as my blood.
Heavens...
I began by thanking you my guest's, and got all complicated with the wish and desires I have for peace on Our Earth Mother. So, I'll end by saying once again, thank you. Thank you, for having a look and read. I hope that some how, some way, we are able to work as a team to improve our Health and Emotional Care Status. No matter where we may live.
Life Goes On.
This is all.
...thank you to them who are from Italy, The United Arab Emirates, Turkey, Georgia, France, Ghana and Qatar. It is an Honor to have had you stop by, if even but for a paragraph or two. You are welcome.
I often wonder about the Kindred who live in other far and away places. Are you guest's with this Meniere's Disease? Are you comparing your sypmtoms to mine? Do you have a doctor like mine, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain? A doctor I have trusted with my life and my hearing. A person I have grown to love and am Honored to say his name aloud in public. Are you students in the Medical and or Health Care Professions? I often times consider the same of my own fellow country Men and WOmen...
...I am amazed at the amount of guests I have had stop by for a read or listen. By end of year I will be approaching 6,500 guests. My simple mind and simple way of looking at Life has not comprehended the concept that Folk's, really do care and check up on me every once in a while. Or how is it that one so simple - speaking simple truth's about my illness's and my Life's journey...
...and even pepper my languauge with a shitty word or two every so often, would still receive contacts from Fellow Earth Mates from all corners of this planet, Our Earth Mother.
My Heart, Spirit's and Soul, cry's and prays for those less fortunate than me. I have seen and have experianced alot of Life's illnesses and injustices personally...
...but, really? We have G.I.'s coming home limbless, blind, harshly wounded. PTSD. Coming home? The Country dishonor's our Honorable One's by welcoming them home with no jobs to earn an honest dollar. Ill equiped to take proper care of the severely wounded. Or properly dispose of remains.
I see how my fellow Earth Mates, are not treated with respect or dignity, nor do they have the freedom to speak of what it is in their minds. That's all some want, is simply to share what's on their mind.
Have seen so much and too much Blood on the media and in the press. I may require glasses to see and read, but damnit if the Blood I see being let on the streets of some country's, that really, are not that far from where I live. Blood is blood and your blood is the same color as my blood.
Heavens...
I began by thanking you my guest's, and got all complicated with the wish and desires I have for peace on Our Earth Mother. So, I'll end by saying once again, thank you. Thank you, for having a look and read. I hope that some how, some way, we are able to work as a team to improve our Health and Emotional Care Status. No matter where we may live.
Life Goes On.
This is all.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
No. No Jumping Here, My Brother...
I had a very dear friend, ask me this just question very recently, "You're not going to be jumping off any bridges are you"?....
...my immediate response was, Hell no! I don't do the jumps! From like anywhere! Not in the U.S. Army - Not Now! I'm just not the jumping sort. I am that dreadfully affraid of heights. No. No shit! Just plain ole no.
I suppose some time has passed since I last touched base on that aspect of my inner thought processes when it comes to/with this damned Meniere's Disease.
I am thinking I am on a different plain - a different place when it comes to this stinking meniere's disease now-a-days. I'm looking at it like this right at this moment - it is here and as far as I can hear and or see, both Mr. and Mrs. Meniere's Disease have moved in with their Trans-World Moving Van Line truck, et al...
...backed the shit right up side my skull. BAM! There it was! Damnit!
So, it's like this. It has moved in and nothing has worked on this eviction process. He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, His Staff, my Family and I have given our all into this battle named Meniere's Disease...
...but, as my doctor keeps telling me, it's holding hand's time. There will be no eviction of this disease. It's just here for now and from now on.
No! I don't like it! But, what can a person do when what has been done is done. Accept? I don't know! Is this the word I search for? Accept? I don't know, all of this is so far yet so close.
I've decided and have long ago decided I want to Live this Life right on through...
...I want to see what it is Great Spirit, has for me to do.
So, no, no jumping off bridges. I was a passenger in a car driven by my Marine nephew Rae, as we crossed the Sunshine Skyway last week sometime. Ahhhhhhhhh, it was just so damned beautiful - the blue water and the sun and the blue clear Florida Sky. Just No. Nope.
No tall buildings neither! Just No, to the whole leaping/jumping piece because it's like this...
...when it comes to tall buildings my tolerance level is zero. Simple.
No, to guns, rifles or weapons of that and this type. They're just too loud and create such a mess. I mean, like, I do watch C.S.I., ya know? Besides, have just plain plumbed watched too many "R" rated movies! What? It's true.
No, starving myself to death. Been there done that once. Back in the 1980's. No damned fun! I didn't eat and babay, I am a fat kid in a chocolate store when it comes to food. I truly enjoy eating! This too runs deep in the DNA...
...you better ask somebody.
No, I am not a Martyr. Wait...
...I would not let one younger than I, or a loved one shield me from any persons bullet or explosion. I have lived many-a-life, right here in the past fifty-two years. I would permit the bullet to locate me and to take me and it wouldn't matter where the bullet hit. For my Relations, this is the way. It is.
My Relations, today was in fact a good and beautiful Florida sunshiny day to die, but most impotantly, today was a great and wonderful Florida Sunshiny day to be alive. Thank You Great One!
All of this and in other words...
I ain't going No Place unless, the Great Spirit calls me Home.
Oui? Oui!
That's all.
...my immediate response was, Hell no! I don't do the jumps! From like anywhere! Not in the U.S. Army - Not Now! I'm just not the jumping sort. I am that dreadfully affraid of heights. No. No shit! Just plain ole no.
I suppose some time has passed since I last touched base on that aspect of my inner thought processes when it comes to/with this damned Meniere's Disease.
I am thinking I am on a different plain - a different place when it comes to this stinking meniere's disease now-a-days. I'm looking at it like this right at this moment - it is here and as far as I can hear and or see, both Mr. and Mrs. Meniere's Disease have moved in with their Trans-World Moving Van Line truck, et al...
...backed the shit right up side my skull. BAM! There it was! Damnit!
So, it's like this. It has moved in and nothing has worked on this eviction process. He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, His Staff, my Family and I have given our all into this battle named Meniere's Disease...
...but, as my doctor keeps telling me, it's holding hand's time. There will be no eviction of this disease. It's just here for now and from now on.
No! I don't like it! But, what can a person do when what has been done is done. Accept? I don't know! Is this the word I search for? Accept? I don't know, all of this is so far yet so close.
I've decided and have long ago decided I want to Live this Life right on through...
...I want to see what it is Great Spirit, has for me to do.
So, no, no jumping off bridges. I was a passenger in a car driven by my Marine nephew Rae, as we crossed the Sunshine Skyway last week sometime. Ahhhhhhhhh, it was just so damned beautiful - the blue water and the sun and the blue clear Florida Sky. Just No. Nope.
No tall buildings neither! Just No, to the whole leaping/jumping piece because it's like this...
...when it comes to tall buildings my tolerance level is zero. Simple.
No, to guns, rifles or weapons of that and this type. They're just too loud and create such a mess. I mean, like, I do watch C.S.I., ya know? Besides, have just plain plumbed watched too many "R" rated movies! What? It's true.
No, starving myself to death. Been there done that once. Back in the 1980's. No damned fun! I didn't eat and babay, I am a fat kid in a chocolate store when it comes to food. I truly enjoy eating! This too runs deep in the DNA...
...you better ask somebody.
No, I am not a Martyr. Wait...
...I would not let one younger than I, or a loved one shield me from any persons bullet or explosion. I have lived many-a-life, right here in the past fifty-two years. I would permit the bullet to locate me and to take me and it wouldn't matter where the bullet hit. For my Relations, this is the way. It is.
My Relations, today was in fact a good and beautiful Florida sunshiny day to die, but most impotantly, today was a great and wonderful Florida Sunshiny day to be alive. Thank You Great One!
All of this and in other words...
I ain't going No Place unless, the Great Spirit calls me Home.
Oui? Oui!
That's all.
Meniere's, Emotion's and I, 14 Dec 11
Salutaions Relation's...
I sit here to tip-tap a spell. So please, kick off your shoes, maybe sip on a cup of green tea, a vial of ginseng or a cup of coffee. I would love to sit here with you to communicate, share and tell memories for a few minutes.
Our Lodge has gone empty of and very quiet with-out the wonderful and dear visitor's we've had. My Neice's and Nephew have returned from whence they came. Here but for one week and the bonds of love, Kinship and Relations have been connected. Instant Karma happened before my very eye's and my Spirit's, saw what I saw...
...and in a place just not too-too far away, the re-connect between two brothers has been brought forth by the Great Spirit, Path's that Trail-Along-Familiar-Path's. The bonds of brotherhood run deeper, the link's to one and another's heart is sacred, kinship matured by the years of growth that even the years could not chip away. The knowledge that the Relation's have been here all along. All of which solidifies in my Core the beleif and now the knowing, that yes, this that runs deeply in the blood. I am Blessed and am forever thankful and am indebted to the Grace Blessed and taught by My Great Spirit...
...My God.
I have shed many tears since their departure yestreday morning. Have actually cried morning, noon and night, and have again shed tears this morning. Look, I'm okay with this. It just so happened that My Being was affected in such idescribable way's. The love, respect, courtesy and dignity are all Life Long connection's and impressions upon my heart and Spirit's. So I share with you, that these have been tears not of sadness, but of of a profound Gladness.
Every once and again, when the wind chimes a certain way, I hear my Lil' Coco, humming and singing as she goes along her way...
Meniere's was and has been an unkind strain over the past several day's. I don't want to say too much about the meniere's, so then, I will be quick about it.
I have sweating going on right now as I have alot of times. Sweating like now, with it dripping down my chest, trying to cling to my t-shirt. To the perspiration and misting. Yes, there's a difference.
I have had bouts with active nausea. Not today, although I am an adam's apple short of having the feeling in my throat.
The dizziness has been harsh. Has been off and on and so very absorbing. My balance and coordination have at times been so effected, it was necessary for me to sit and catch and or lay and catch myself. Too many trips, too many bumps and just too damned many moments of having to catch the Earth Mother.
I was able to sleep when Our Kinfolk went across the Bay for the filming of the movie Lil' Coco is in. Slept long nights and with their visit, my Kinfolk were able to keep me awake most of day time since the last vertigo attack, which was 02 December 2011.
My Hearing has been from fair to poor. Have had many noises and sounds in my right Hard of Hearing ear. At this very moment, I sit still and am able to listen to what sounds like thousands of crickets and cicadas. As if I had my i-pod ear bud in place. This noise and such, affects the way I listen or do not listen to music or view or do not view the television. I have had dreadful "pops!", that have been frightening. Have had too many moments of total silence - which in fact has affected listening to another speak. The ploop's and plop's continue.
The Left Deaf ear has been back on activity. Very active! I hope my dearest Kinfolk, understand that sometimes I would rather listen to nothing than listen and or view something poorly. I loved the conversations we had! And their patience with me was kind and respectful. I think this is a practice I will make more of here at home...
I have picked up frantic beep's in this, my Left Deaf ear. Have listened to Morris Code's beepity-beep-beep's from what I believe to be a passing satelite that continues to spin around and round our Earth Mother...
...not realizing the Cold War has been over for quite sometime now. Coordinates, I reckon.
And now for something completely different...
It is right good and clear that I may share this with all Relations. I am in a nice seat at this moment. My heart and Spirit's feel love from the All of my Relations. A mighty nice seat to be sitting on too. To All Relations, I say I Love You.
This is all...
I sit here to tip-tap a spell. So please, kick off your shoes, maybe sip on a cup of green tea, a vial of ginseng or a cup of coffee. I would love to sit here with you to communicate, share and tell memories for a few minutes.
Our Lodge has gone empty of and very quiet with-out the wonderful and dear visitor's we've had. My Neice's and Nephew have returned from whence they came. Here but for one week and the bonds of love, Kinship and Relations have been connected. Instant Karma happened before my very eye's and my Spirit's, saw what I saw...
...and in a place just not too-too far away, the re-connect between two brothers has been brought forth by the Great Spirit, Path's that Trail-Along-Familiar-Path's. The bonds of brotherhood run deeper, the link's to one and another's heart is sacred, kinship matured by the years of growth that even the years could not chip away. The knowledge that the Relation's have been here all along. All of which solidifies in my Core the beleif and now the knowing, that yes, this that runs deeply in the blood. I am Blessed and am forever thankful and am indebted to the Grace Blessed and taught by My Great Spirit...
...My God.
I have shed many tears since their departure yestreday morning. Have actually cried morning, noon and night, and have again shed tears this morning. Look, I'm okay with this. It just so happened that My Being was affected in such idescribable way's. The love, respect, courtesy and dignity are all Life Long connection's and impressions upon my heart and Spirit's. So I share with you, that these have been tears not of sadness, but of of a profound Gladness.
Every once and again, when the wind chimes a certain way, I hear my Lil' Coco, humming and singing as she goes along her way...
Meniere's was and has been an unkind strain over the past several day's. I don't want to say too much about the meniere's, so then, I will be quick about it.
I have sweating going on right now as I have alot of times. Sweating like now, with it dripping down my chest, trying to cling to my t-shirt. To the perspiration and misting. Yes, there's a difference.
I have had bouts with active nausea. Not today, although I am an adam's apple short of having the feeling in my throat.
The dizziness has been harsh. Has been off and on and so very absorbing. My balance and coordination have at times been so effected, it was necessary for me to sit and catch and or lay and catch myself. Too many trips, too many bumps and just too damned many moments of having to catch the Earth Mother.
I was able to sleep when Our Kinfolk went across the Bay for the filming of the movie Lil' Coco is in. Slept long nights and with their visit, my Kinfolk were able to keep me awake most of day time since the last vertigo attack, which was 02 December 2011.
My Hearing has been from fair to poor. Have had many noises and sounds in my right Hard of Hearing ear. At this very moment, I sit still and am able to listen to what sounds like thousands of crickets and cicadas. As if I had my i-pod ear bud in place. This noise and such, affects the way I listen or do not listen to music or view or do not view the television. I have had dreadful "pops!", that have been frightening. Have had too many moments of total silence - which in fact has affected listening to another speak. The ploop's and plop's continue.
The Left Deaf ear has been back on activity. Very active! I hope my dearest Kinfolk, understand that sometimes I would rather listen to nothing than listen and or view something poorly. I loved the conversations we had! And their patience with me was kind and respectful. I think this is a practice I will make more of here at home...
I have picked up frantic beep's in this, my Left Deaf ear. Have listened to Morris Code's beepity-beep-beep's from what I believe to be a passing satelite that continues to spin around and round our Earth Mother...
...not realizing the Cold War has been over for quite sometime now. Coordinates, I reckon.
And now for something completely different...
It is right good and clear that I may share this with all Relations. I am in a nice seat at this moment. My heart and Spirit's feel love from the All of my Relations. A mighty nice seat to be sitting on too. To All Relations, I say I Love You.
This is all...
Friday, December 9, 2011
Meinere's, Memories, 09 Dec.11
Here I sit tip-tapping while having a sense of homesickness. Maybe it's more like a nostalgia for the way things were way back then in 1978 and 1979...
...being around a Marine Sgt., for a few days with his movie star daughter and his beautiful wife, who is the daughter of my life long very best good friend, Jimmy, has flooded the memory bank. We served with each other in the U.S. Army. Speaking with Jimmy and listening to the stories he shared with his family brings back so many feelings and thoughts and memories. Wonderful memories. Them from back then and when I was young and full of that stuff. Invincible, I would have sworn. The things I/We would do while stationed in Germany. The travels we had, the risks we took, the friendships we established, are all very much still alive and well. I am Blessed by God, to have this Family from Guam, be a part of my Family.
I am aware Great Spirit, Blessed me with the memorey many do not have. Which is a gift that comes from Heavan. How Grateful, I am.
I am also thankful for this visit in many more ways that I can descibe. What a fantastic reunion and what therapy this has been for me.
Excellent therapy too..
...their visit has helped me limit the amount of sleep post vertical attack. Yes, I have slept, but no way near the amount I usually sleep after such an attack. Having family around during the day has kept my mind occupied and not focused on what is or isn't going on in the skull...
My neice's and nephew took me out and about on Wednesday, 7 Dec., and drove us on a tour of our tri-county area - getting me out of my medically imposed exhile. Even if it was but for a few hours on a beautiful Sun Shiny Florida day was simply a brilliant short mini-holiday. All I had to do was sit back and enjoy this tour and ride about. Oh yes, play navigator and tour guide. Every once in a while, I would say on your right is this or that and or the on your left is where that and this is. What fun I had. Sarge, has what a refered to as The Bat Car. I don't think I have ever been in a car that rides like that one. Fast? Please. Felt like we were hoovering along the surface of Earth Mother, it felt so strong and sure under our seats.
The Meniere's has always been preseant. Constantly me where it resides...
I have been dizzy more off than on. More on than off, I do declare. The balance and coordination has been way off and have had too many stumbles, trips, and bumps-in-to situations. No fall's, Thank God. But, the human bumper car has been alive and bumping about for sure.
The nausea has been tagging along with the dizziness and has been always present. I have had one active episode with the naussea, brought to a vomit on Tuesday. At this moment, the nausea feels as if it is just below the adams apple.
The sweats have been more on that off, and if it wasn't sweats it was the perspiration. At the moment I am unable to report how many shirts I have gone through this week. Will learn this number later when the laundry has been done later this afternoon...not that it is that important. Just wondering.
The Deaf Left Ear is sending out or receiving The Emergency Broadcasting Systems Alert. It sounds like this, Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
And on and on for what has been the past forty minutes now. It seems to be making my dizziness worse. Please let this pass soon. Please let this soon pass...
...my right ear has what sounds like just a few crickets in my skull. I am pleased and am happy to have but a few making their music. This is much different than when I have a swamp full. Way different.
I feel as if I'm about to vomit. So I'll excuse myself for a few minutes.
Alright, a bit better. No vomit.
Relations, I'll bring this message to a close by saying this...
...Love One and Another, as if you bleed the same blood. It is in the Blood, that Life Long Friendship's are born, nourished, and grow taller than the Red Woods out in the West.
Love, peace and more peace, Mario
...being around a Marine Sgt., for a few days with his movie star daughter and his beautiful wife, who is the daughter of my life long very best good friend, Jimmy, has flooded the memory bank. We served with each other in the U.S. Army. Speaking with Jimmy and listening to the stories he shared with his family brings back so many feelings and thoughts and memories. Wonderful memories. Them from back then and when I was young and full of that stuff. Invincible, I would have sworn. The things I/We would do while stationed in Germany. The travels we had, the risks we took, the friendships we established, are all very much still alive and well. I am Blessed by God, to have this Family from Guam, be a part of my Family.
I am aware Great Spirit, Blessed me with the memorey many do not have. Which is a gift that comes from Heavan. How Grateful, I am.
I am also thankful for this visit in many more ways that I can descibe. What a fantastic reunion and what therapy this has been for me.
Excellent therapy too..
...their visit has helped me limit the amount of sleep post vertical attack. Yes, I have slept, but no way near the amount I usually sleep after such an attack. Having family around during the day has kept my mind occupied and not focused on what is or isn't going on in the skull...
My neice's and nephew took me out and about on Wednesday, 7 Dec., and drove us on a tour of our tri-county area - getting me out of my medically imposed exhile. Even if it was but for a few hours on a beautiful Sun Shiny Florida day was simply a brilliant short mini-holiday. All I had to do was sit back and enjoy this tour and ride about. Oh yes, play navigator and tour guide. Every once in a while, I would say on your right is this or that and or the on your left is where that and this is. What fun I had. Sarge, has what a refered to as The Bat Car. I don't think I have ever been in a car that rides like that one. Fast? Please. Felt like we were hoovering along the surface of Earth Mother, it felt so strong and sure under our seats.
The Meniere's has always been preseant. Constantly me where it resides...
I have been dizzy more off than on. More on than off, I do declare. The balance and coordination has been way off and have had too many stumbles, trips, and bumps-in-to situations. No fall's, Thank God. But, the human bumper car has been alive and bumping about for sure.
The nausea has been tagging along with the dizziness and has been always present. I have had one active episode with the naussea, brought to a vomit on Tuesday. At this moment, the nausea feels as if it is just below the adams apple.
The sweats have been more on that off, and if it wasn't sweats it was the perspiration. At the moment I am unable to report how many shirts I have gone through this week. Will learn this number later when the laundry has been done later this afternoon...not that it is that important. Just wondering.
The Deaf Left Ear is sending out or receiving The Emergency Broadcasting Systems Alert. It sounds like this, Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
And on and on for what has been the past forty minutes now. It seems to be making my dizziness worse. Please let this pass soon. Please let this soon pass...
...my right ear has what sounds like just a few crickets in my skull. I am pleased and am happy to have but a few making their music. This is much different than when I have a swamp full. Way different.
I feel as if I'm about to vomit. So I'll excuse myself for a few minutes.
Alright, a bit better. No vomit.
Relations, I'll bring this message to a close by saying this...
...Love One and Another, as if you bleed the same blood. It is in the Blood, that Life Long Friendship's are born, nourished, and grow taller than the Red Woods out in the West.
Love, peace and more peace, Mario
Monday, December 5, 2011
Meniere's Disease, 05 Dec. 2011
Our Three Kindred Kinfolk, are on their way to the filming location. It's a wardrobe thing, I'm thinking.
I feel the excitement in the Heart and Spirit's of all heading towards some wonderful experiances in life...
...and look, Lil' Miss. Coco, has me creating a sea shell bracelet for her. Little tiny neice has me wrapped around that teenie tiny little finger. Jimmy, you are Blessed by God, my brother.
This beautiful Angel, is wise beyong her years. From with-in, that is. Cherub like in appearance and energies, she is clearly here to meet Folk. This hic-up in generation reunion is Blessed by Great Spirit...
...this visit, their stay in the sanctuary and the respect, love and intrigity is warmhearted and appreciative. Their's an aire of compassion, and I am thankful. Thankful for these Blessings, Great One, Blessings.
NOTE: Menerie's Disease Related
I am nauseated at a "up to my throat level", but have not thrown up today. The dizziness is a dizzy above a tipsy, the dizzy that brings all the clumsy. I have had the trips and bumps, lack of coordination and off on balance a chunck, but no falls. Thank You Great One. Have had the sweats and perspiration off and on throughout the day. As in now...
...when dizzy goes up, nausea increases, as sweat, perspiration and or misty.
Heading off for a nap after I say farewll.
My Deaf Left Ear is Daef at this moment! Yes! Yes! Yes! Deaf!
My Right Hard of Hearing ear is having a fairly satifactory day. I have been able to speak with my Kindred with very little trouble. Have been listening to the Everglades most of today too. Yes, these bloody creatures in my right ear is torture. No other way to express it. Sorry.
Time for nap. Farewell....
I feel the excitement in the Heart and Spirit's of all heading towards some wonderful experiances in life...
...and look, Lil' Miss. Coco, has me creating a sea shell bracelet for her. Little tiny neice has me wrapped around that teenie tiny little finger. Jimmy, you are Blessed by God, my brother.
This beautiful Angel, is wise beyong her years. From with-in, that is. Cherub like in appearance and energies, she is clearly here to meet Folk. This hic-up in generation reunion is Blessed by Great Spirit...
...this visit, their stay in the sanctuary and the respect, love and intrigity is warmhearted and appreciative. Their's an aire of compassion, and I am thankful. Thankful for these Blessings, Great One, Blessings.
NOTE: Menerie's Disease Related
I am nauseated at a "up to my throat level", but have not thrown up today. The dizziness is a dizzy above a tipsy, the dizzy that brings all the clumsy. I have had the trips and bumps, lack of coordination and off on balance a chunck, but no falls. Thank You Great One. Have had the sweats and perspiration off and on throughout the day. As in now...
...when dizzy goes up, nausea increases, as sweat, perspiration and or misty.
Heading off for a nap after I say farewll.
My Deaf Left Ear is Daef at this moment! Yes! Yes! Yes! Deaf!
My Right Hard of Hearing ear is having a fairly satifactory day. I have been able to speak with my Kindred with very little trouble. Have been listening to the Everglades most of today too. Yes, these bloody creatures in my right ear is torture. No other way to express it. Sorry.
Time for nap. Farewell....
A Skip Of A Generation Reunion
We will be having a reunion here in the lodge today...
...Tabby, Rae, and Coco will be resting and staying here at our Santuary for a spell. While Coco, does some filming over in Saint Petersburg, Florida where a major motion picture is being filmed. I don't feel comfortable saying the names of the artist involved yet. (One is Matt Dillon and the other major star is Naomi Watts amoungst others). I'll share their names as soon as I get Tabby's okay. Okay? I know Coco will be smack dab in the middle of all this! I'm so excited in my heart for her and the entire family! I'm like doing a happy dance in my heart!
Sometime later this Winter, Coco will be in a Tyler Perry television show too.
I see big things coming for Coco, Mom and Dad. Mommy has her idea of what is going on and what the future looks like in her eye orb's. Tabby's a Wise WOman...
...she took alot after her Dad, my Very Best Good Friend For Life, Jimmy G.
Back-back-back in the day, 1978-1979, while stationed in Germany, in this U.S. Army, we would have taken a bullet for each other...
...I recollect once apon a time, Jimmy. Joe, Jerome, myself and maybe a couple of other fellows from base had the polizie, screech tires, jump out and pull machine guns and side arms on the ready - straight in our direction. We were just walking back to the barracks after a beer up at the pub and were "mistaken" for another group of "Americans". Yes, this truly happened. Yes, it scared the dung out of me and probably the all of us, but once these right kind police officers let us be - we laughed up a good storm. I may have actually peed my pants just a bit.
Anyway's, Jimmy and I have known each other since then. A wee bit over thirty some years. You know how life is, a few letters here and there. The business have having children, we've worked hard for our money...
...the yearly Merry Christmas card. But, since '78-'79, my eye's have not seen Jimmy's. My ear has not heard his voice except by telephone...
...I have not taken his hand with mine and gave it a good damn shake, nor have I had a chance to give my Brother a Bear Hug. I want to squeeze a fart out of this person who bleeds my Blood, Jimmy G.
God has Blessed, us with a Family Reunion, with a Skip in Generation. It is somewhat like a hic-cup in our lives...
...and that's mighty fine by me. I know I'll get to see Mr. G, sometime real soon. In the mean time Tabby, Rae, and Coco will stay a spell here at Tio Mario's.
I Love it!
I will make it through this week with-out issue. I plan on returning to bed as soon as possible for sleep. I am exhauted. Our guests will be very busy and all times of day and night. I will simply sleep while they're on location and see them when their awake after sleeping through their change of routine...
...I wouldn't let this latest Meniere's attack affect this reunion.
PERIOD.
Oh my, I am so Blessed. Thank you, Great Spirit!
...Tabby, Rae, and Coco will be resting and staying here at our Santuary for a spell. While Coco, does some filming over in Saint Petersburg, Florida where a major motion picture is being filmed. I don't feel comfortable saying the names of the artist involved yet. (One is Matt Dillon and the other major star is Naomi Watts amoungst others). I'll share their names as soon as I get Tabby's okay. Okay? I know Coco will be smack dab in the middle of all this! I'm so excited in my heart for her and the entire family! I'm like doing a happy dance in my heart!
Sometime later this Winter, Coco will be in a Tyler Perry television show too.
I see big things coming for Coco, Mom and Dad. Mommy has her idea of what is going on and what the future looks like in her eye orb's. Tabby's a Wise WOman...
...she took alot after her Dad, my Very Best Good Friend For Life, Jimmy G.
Back-back-back in the day, 1978-1979, while stationed in Germany, in this U.S. Army, we would have taken a bullet for each other...
...I recollect once apon a time, Jimmy. Joe, Jerome, myself and maybe a couple of other fellows from base had the polizie, screech tires, jump out and pull machine guns and side arms on the ready - straight in our direction. We were just walking back to the barracks after a beer up at the pub and were "mistaken" for another group of "Americans". Yes, this truly happened. Yes, it scared the dung out of me and probably the all of us, but once these right kind police officers let us be - we laughed up a good storm. I may have actually peed my pants just a bit.
Anyway's, Jimmy and I have known each other since then. A wee bit over thirty some years. You know how life is, a few letters here and there. The business have having children, we've worked hard for our money...
...the yearly Merry Christmas card. But, since '78-'79, my eye's have not seen Jimmy's. My ear has not heard his voice except by telephone...
...I have not taken his hand with mine and gave it a good damn shake, nor have I had a chance to give my Brother a Bear Hug. I want to squeeze a fart out of this person who bleeds my Blood, Jimmy G.
God has Blessed, us with a Family Reunion, with a Skip in Generation. It is somewhat like a hic-cup in our lives...
...and that's mighty fine by me. I know I'll get to see Mr. G, sometime real soon. In the mean time Tabby, Rae, and Coco will stay a spell here at Tio Mario's.
I Love it!
I will make it through this week with-out issue. I plan on returning to bed as soon as possible for sleep. I am exhauted. Our guests will be very busy and all times of day and night. I will simply sleep while they're on location and see them when their awake after sleeping through their change of routine...
...I wouldn't let this latest Meniere's attack affect this reunion.
PERIOD.
Oh my, I am so Blessed. Thank you, Great Spirit!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Meniere's Disease, Ambushed In The Night
While in bed early Friday the evening of 02 December 11, I nearly vomitted while reading. I coughed up and swallowed what had come up to the back of my mouth. It's not the first I had vomit come up into my mouth. No more was brought up and I did not throw up. So I closed my book and was quickly off to Dream World. As the world spun and turned and twirled about me...
...no hint - no warming. This was an out-right Meniere's attack at night.
Did not wake up until last night, Saturday, the 03 Dec., at approxitmately 1930. I was up for just about two hours - enough time for a sandwich and soup, and spend a few minutes with Brenda. I then went back to bed, tried to read a page or two about Sitting Bull, Quanna Parker and Red Cloud, but was quickly back to sleep.
I woke this morning at 1145. Today is Sunday, the 04 December 2011. I think I would need a calculator to figue out how many hours this sleep has been, but maybe I'll caluculate some other time, as it doesn't mean much to me right now. What does matter is that I am totally exhausted, am with extreme nausea and am in pain and ache from my neck to the soles of my feet.
The worms are acting up something dreadfull.
I am dizzy, nauseated and have not stopped sweating and perspiring since I got up from bed. My balance and coordination is unsatisfactory. At risk.
The Left Deaf ear is listening to the sound of an approching locomotive. No horns, just the sound of a train on it's tracks in fast motion.
My right ear is having a poor hearing day. It also has twenty acres of locusts and crikets seemingly at dusk, making all kinds of loud sounds of nature. The plooping and ploping has been frequent.
I have a stutter in my speach. Nothing new, just something I have not brought up in my letters to my Relations.
I must go...
...my brains inform me that I'll be back to slumber directly. Peace.
...no hint - no warming. This was an out-right Meniere's attack at night.
Did not wake up until last night, Saturday, the 03 Dec., at approxitmately 1930. I was up for just about two hours - enough time for a sandwich and soup, and spend a few minutes with Brenda. I then went back to bed, tried to read a page or two about Sitting Bull, Quanna Parker and Red Cloud, but was quickly back to sleep.
I woke this morning at 1145. Today is Sunday, the 04 December 2011. I think I would need a calculator to figue out how many hours this sleep has been, but maybe I'll caluculate some other time, as it doesn't mean much to me right now. What does matter is that I am totally exhausted, am with extreme nausea and am in pain and ache from my neck to the soles of my feet.
The worms are acting up something dreadfull.
I am dizzy, nauseated and have not stopped sweating and perspiring since I got up from bed. My balance and coordination is unsatisfactory. At risk.
The Left Deaf ear is listening to the sound of an approching locomotive. No horns, just the sound of a train on it's tracks in fast motion.
My right ear is having a poor hearing day. It also has twenty acres of locusts and crikets seemingly at dusk, making all kinds of loud sounds of nature. The plooping and ploping has been frequent.
I have a stutter in my speach. Nothing new, just something I have not brought up in my letters to my Relations.
I must go...
...my brains inform me that I'll be back to slumber directly. Peace.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Is This Poison To Sip........
.......or is it the poison to swallow. Just and such as it has been forced upon me time and time again? Since boyhood...
...as if through out my day's here walking my Path, sometimes not even knowing what type of Path I was to truly trieing to beleive in. One that I wanted to follow...or live as it was my life moving ahead on...
...and yet, on and on it goes in my skull. The force fed and made to swallow abuses! Whether it be Sexual, Verbal, Pyhsical, Emotionial...
...by the "whom ever's". Yesterday, Yesteryear, it does not matter.
Today's the life...My Life!
Until I had been through the shit and the anti-matter that became bits, pieces and parts to tote along with the luggage...
...and, no honey, it ain't Prada. And what? Y que? As if I would? I have carried this humongous load of fukkk'en anti-matter on my shoulders since I was a child.
And Survived it. So I thought it.
With the all that has been the past few years and then the recent weeks, with the all that was and has been, it appears and seems to me we may have had some turbulance.
You know, it's Human Nature, to rebound. To fight physical ills and to beleive and live and hope...
...some fellow Survivor's of sexual Abuse, Incest and Rape, will take alternative routes to make it through their life long fkkk that comes from growing up getting fkkked and NO ONE "heard" the silent screams behind the face of this Sierra kid or she, in the other grade, my sister. I perhaps, then come to the conclusion that it I/We did not matter...
...no one noticed or reported the deep brusies - no one reported the crying...
...nor was the screaming listened to as I would rush to hush my breath to keep it from escaping my very vocal, vocal cords. These vocal cords, know how I would...
...scream out loud today! That there were just so many to teach me how to swallow the poison...
...and not sip it, like a gentleman would. Blow's my mind.
One swallow's from the flask...
...as one would sip from a flute. The Gentleman would say.
...as if through out my day's here walking my Path, sometimes not even knowing what type of Path I was to truly trieing to beleive in. One that I wanted to follow...or live as it was my life moving ahead on...
...and yet, on and on it goes in my skull. The force fed and made to swallow abuses! Whether it be Sexual, Verbal, Pyhsical, Emotionial...
...by the "whom ever's". Yesterday, Yesteryear, it does not matter.
Today's the life...My Life!
Until I had been through the shit and the anti-matter that became bits, pieces and parts to tote along with the luggage...
...and, no honey, it ain't Prada. And what? Y que? As if I would? I have carried this humongous load of fukkk'en anti-matter on my shoulders since I was a child.
And Survived it. So I thought it.
With the all that has been the past few years and then the recent weeks, with the all that was and has been, it appears and seems to me we may have had some turbulance.
You know, it's Human Nature, to rebound. To fight physical ills and to beleive and live and hope...
...some fellow Survivor's of sexual Abuse, Incest and Rape, will take alternative routes to make it through their life long fkkk that comes from growing up getting fkkked and NO ONE "heard" the silent screams behind the face of this Sierra kid or she, in the other grade, my sister. I perhaps, then come to the conclusion that it I/We did not matter...
...no one noticed or reported the deep brusies - no one reported the crying...
...nor was the screaming listened to as I would rush to hush my breath to keep it from escaping my very vocal, vocal cords. These vocal cords, know how I would...
...scream out loud today! That there were just so many to teach me how to swallow the poison...
...and not sip it, like a gentleman would. Blow's my mind.
One swallow's from the flask...
...as one would sip from a flute. The Gentleman would say.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Wednesday's A Good Day, 01 Dec. 2011, Happy New Month!
I am hoping that I have broken up the sleep queue...
...even if I did wake past eleven:30 this morning and had gone to bed early last night. I do suspect to some degree the sleep queue, place's me into a form of self-induced psychosis's every once in a bit. I mean, it's easy to tell from where I sit. How my entire being is affected and effected by the sleep queue is beyond words. I can't even imagine what it must be like for my dear wife, my two beautiful daughters, my neighbours, my kinfolk and Kindred. Lord have Mercy. I want to apologize, but don't really feel right by saying that or doing it. Not right now, anyway's. Because I haven't done anybody no harm, en'it true? Alright then.......
The sleep queue has been a huge piece of my day-to-day since my last vertigo/meniere's attack. It's here every fucking day, ya know? Like a bummer room mate...SWF, SWSM, SLM, which translates into Single Lesbian Male. Which I am. Been a Lesbian most of my life I reckon. Let me ask my wife, she'll know.
...anyway's, it seems as if I really simply seem to slip right on into another realm when I am in my Dream World. I don't mind much. I mean, I am in a restful state and a safe place. True? Huh? Okaiiiii?
My dizziness is a mild tipsy dizzy. Without the expence of beer or the fire water or moon shine. Betcha my cousin, James could fetch me a good bottle of that. You thank so James?
Yes, but back to the subject. Yes, am dizzy a bit.
Feel nausea to my mid-chest. Which means I feel it to my man boobs. Which for me is a good thing. Which helps make today a good day.
I have perspired and sweated off and on today. Have a mist about my forehead and neck. This is one of the reasons I wear bandana's! No, the color's don't represent shit, no I'm not in a fucking gang, and no I am not a cowboy...
...I shoulda been a cowboy, but i'm not. I love Cowboy's! And i hate to see them cry when they lose at rodeo. Man up! For Pete's Sake! You're a Cowboy!! Alright?
My Deaf Left Ear has been ticking today. No. Don't ask! Just fukkken tick-tick-ticking. Like an old fashioned clock or a ticking time bomb or a tick-tick of my watch...
...but ticking? Girl, please. This shit is just getting too stupied! No wonder I speak of psychosis, et al.
My right ear is having a pretty good day. I mean, there's no body for me to speak with at this moment, but when I speak to the dog's and I, I seem to hear fairly well. Have also had the sounds and noise of a far off Swamp Boat, or two. I can't tell yet. But you know, the one's you've seen on television or when thinking of the Everglades or swamp.
It is with great hopes and expectations that I should overcome this sleep queue. I will give this a good fight today...
...after all, today's Wednesday, a good day.
...even if I did wake past eleven:30 this morning and had gone to bed early last night. I do suspect to some degree the sleep queue, place's me into a form of self-induced psychosis's every once in a bit. I mean, it's easy to tell from where I sit. How my entire being is affected and effected by the sleep queue is beyond words. I can't even imagine what it must be like for my dear wife, my two beautiful daughters, my neighbours, my kinfolk and Kindred. Lord have Mercy. I want to apologize, but don't really feel right by saying that or doing it. Not right now, anyway's. Because I haven't done anybody no harm, en'it true? Alright then.......
The sleep queue has been a huge piece of my day-to-day since my last vertigo/meniere's attack. It's here every fucking day, ya know? Like a bummer room mate...SWF, SWSM, SLM, which translates into Single Lesbian Male. Which I am. Been a Lesbian most of my life I reckon. Let me ask my wife, she'll know.
...anyway's, it seems as if I really simply seem to slip right on into another realm when I am in my Dream World. I don't mind much. I mean, I am in a restful state and a safe place. True? Huh? Okaiiiii?
My dizziness is a mild tipsy dizzy. Without the expence of beer or the fire water or moon shine. Betcha my cousin, James could fetch me a good bottle of that. You thank so James?
Yes, but back to the subject. Yes, am dizzy a bit.
Feel nausea to my mid-chest. Which means I feel it to my man boobs. Which for me is a good thing. Which helps make today a good day.
I have perspired and sweated off and on today. Have a mist about my forehead and neck. This is one of the reasons I wear bandana's! No, the color's don't represent shit, no I'm not in a fucking gang, and no I am not a cowboy...
...I shoulda been a cowboy, but i'm not. I love Cowboy's! And i hate to see them cry when they lose at rodeo. Man up! For Pete's Sake! You're a Cowboy!! Alright?
My Deaf Left Ear has been ticking today. No. Don't ask! Just fukkken tick-tick-ticking. Like an old fashioned clock or a ticking time bomb or a tick-tick of my watch...
...but ticking? Girl, please. This shit is just getting too stupied! No wonder I speak of psychosis, et al.
My right ear is having a pretty good day. I mean, there's no body for me to speak with at this moment, but when I speak to the dog's and I, I seem to hear fairly well. Have also had the sounds and noise of a far off Swamp Boat, or two. I can't tell yet. But you know, the one's you've seen on television or when thinking of the Everglades or swamp.
It is with great hopes and expectations that I should overcome this sleep queue. I will give this a good fight today...
...after all, today's Wednesday, a good day.
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